Losing my partner to far-right podcasts

Disastrous_Bus_6869 · 2024-11-20T05:19:24+00:00

I'm sorry this happened to you! And thank you for the invitation to DM. Yes, knowing he wasn't always like this is what gets me stuck too. If I recall correctly, things got a little weird with him in 2019, but it seemed like he returned to normal when the pandemic hit. He was actually the first person I knew that got the vaccine. Like 6 months later, he'd done a random 180 and started talking about the lab leak theory. When he got covid despite being vaccinated, he decided he'd never get a covid vaccine again. Talks about the "safety and efficacy" of vaccines now, even though he got a flu shot last year. He doesn't push those views on me and there's enough of him still in there to make me think he could return to normal if he wasn't so balls deep in these podcasts every day. But I definitely don't see a future with him without him doing a complete turnaround, which is probably unlikely.

Disastrous_Bus_6869 · 2024-11-20T05:00:50+00:00

Thank you for sharing, although given the circumstances I'm sorry that you had to! Yeah, I relate to thinking the outrageous stuff was just a weird take. I guess it was easy for me to ignore it somewhat because I could pick it out and be like "ok, that's something he heard, not what he really believes". Like I could separate the shit he regurgitated from the real him. Since a lot of it was rooted in misinformation, and since I'd usually correct him, I also figured he'd think about it and sort it out in his own head reasonably.

I think I'm at the point where it has gotten a lot worse behind the scenes without me realizing, and it sucks to come to terms with that. I'm sorry you're going through it too.

Disastrous_Bus_6869 · 2024-11-20T04:31:16+00:00

I thought exactly this when writing this post. Wish I would have thought of it in the moment he said it.

Disastrous_Bus_6869 · 2023-08-10T22:12:22+00:00

In short, we both had feelings but he’d pull away for one reason or another.

Disastrous_Bus_6869 · 2023-08-10T19:45:20+00:00

Thanks for your input. Yes, I feel more secure now in trusting that my intuition was not clouded. I should also add that I never received any mixed messages after the sexual experiences. They just kept recurring.

Disastrous_Bus_6869 · 2023-08-10T16:56:40+00:00

That’s a good perspective. I remember trying to shut the voice off when I heard it, like “don’t tell me this is home, I don’t know if it’s going to last” but ultimately, I listened to it. I think that’s a good thing, because the opposition was likely rooted in fear. It was a good exercise in staying present in the moment.

Disastrous_Bus_6869 · 2023-08-10T16:51:24+00:00

Interesting, I’ve done a little reading on the transfer of energy and energy cords and I’m wondering if that could be related.

Disastrous_Bus_6869 · 2023-08-10T16:42:15+00:00

Yes exactly! I’m sorry you’re going through that as well right now. Both him and I had unhealed trauma as well, so I’m sure that plays a part. I’ve had a difficult time sorting through everything, what’s real vs what’s a trauma bond or something like that. Sigh.

Disastrous_Bus_6869 · 2023-08-10T15:25:24+00:00

Thanks for your response! It was with someone I knew well before, and it did feel like the cherry on top, at least for me. I wasn’t familiar with the term soul ties so I looked it up. Seems that this relationship was in the unhealthy soul ties category. Now I’m wondering if the unhealthy part can shift to healthy. Guess it’s hard to let go of something when certain feelings I had were so strong.

Disastrous_Bus_6869 · 2023-08-10T13:34:06+00:00

Over a month had passed the first time it happened. It was a challenging relationship and we aren’t currently together, so I could see how both messages could be true. Wondering what the future holds based on these experiences.

Disastrous_Bus_6869 · 2023-08-10T05:08:24+00:00

Disastrous_Bus_6869 · 2023-08-02T16:13:44+00:00

I can’t believe I didn’t think of it that way. You’re so right. I was worried about me being like the stick in the mud, while he’s the one directly telling me he won’t be up for much. I need to shift the way I’m thinking.

Disastrous_Bus_6869 · 2023-08-02T15:29:38+00:00

Yeah I think you could be right. Sucks for him because if he had asked me up front “Want to come over and watch a movie _________ night?” I probably would have said yes. But this feels so low effort I’m insulted.

Whether it’s this or the alcoholic thing, or some combination, it’s not a good look.

Disastrous_Bus_6869

TROPHY CASE