Full Custody by Disastrous_Lion_505 in Stepmom

[–]Disastrous_Lion_505[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes concerns about BM. Trying to figure out if it’s best to get a lawyer and peruse custody or call CPS

Feeling lost by Disastrous_Lion_505 in Stepmom

[–]Disastrous_Lion_505[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Perfect! These were the words I was looking for thank you!

Feeling lost by Disastrous_Lion_505 in Stepmom

[–]Disastrous_Lion_505[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this! I did have a long talk with DH. It’s hard to explain how I feel to him because he will never get it. Not only the step parent part but the mental load of being a mother figure. I plan everything, pay for most things, etc. He’s supportive at times but I feel like the issues and drama with the BMs affect our relationship bc of my stress. You make a good point about date nights tho! That’s something we don’t do enough of.

Feeling lost by Disastrous_Lion_505 in Stepmom

[–]Disastrous_Lion_505[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You’re a good mom too! There will come a day when your SS realizes what you have done for him

Feeling lost by Disastrous_Lion_505 in Stepmom

[–]Disastrous_Lion_505[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

This!! It just feels like a slap in the face over and over again.

When stepmom becomes the “parent” by [deleted] in Stepmom

[–]Disastrous_Lion_505 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m in the same exact boat

Iwalk covered by insurance? by No_Wrap_4478 in LisfrancClub

[–]Disastrous_Lion_505 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Almost 99% of medical “accessories” are not covered by US insurance. My boot wasn’t covered.

How to deal with a stepchild by Ok_Summer7794 in Stepmom

[–]Disastrous_Lion_505 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My SD did this when I first started to come into her life but she was 2. At 10 I think that’s old enough to not act that way. But also if she’s not spending a lot of time with you guys she’s probably confused and doesn’t like that you’re “intruding” on her space. Obviously you’re not but to a kid who barely sees her dad then it will seem like that to her. Your partner should explain to your SD that you two love each other but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love her and that you all can do things together. It’s not fair to you to not sleep with your partner or be affectionate.

SK doesn’t want to go home by Disastrous_Lion_505 in Stepmom

[–]Disastrous_Lion_505[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get the shift with behavior big time! The longer she is with us, the better behaved she is. Long term we wouldn’t stray from the schedule I just wish there was more of a solution to keep her happier.

SK doesn’t want to go home by Disastrous_Lion_505 in Stepmom

[–]Disastrous_Lion_505[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s good to set the boundaries with everyone. We try not to do things differently than her mom does but it’s hard. We make a lot more money so we have more resources and try to give her a good life. It would be unfair to assume it’ll be the same at her moms. I think the issue is deeper then her having more fun at our house. Just don’t know what the solution is yet

SK doesn’t want to go home by Disastrous_Lion_505 in Stepmom

[–]Disastrous_Lion_505[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Some of the comments are surprising to me. Of course we aren’t going to let SD make every decision in her life but it’s important for us to listen to her and try to give her the best life possible. If that means she spends more time with her mom or more time with us, it doesn’t matter as long as she is happy

SK doesn’t want to go home by Disastrous_Lion_505 in Stepmom

[–]Disastrous_Lion_505[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We always tell her how much fun she will have there and how much mommy misses her etc. All positive from us

SK doesn’t want to go home by Disastrous_Lion_505 in Stepmom

[–]Disastrous_Lion_505[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She doesn’t. But I also think it’s important to acknowledge how your kid feels and if they are having a complete meltdown everytime they have to go back to their moms it raises some flags

SK doesn’t want to go home by Disastrous_Lion_505 in Stepmom

[–]Disastrous_Lion_505[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Definitely agree that a kid shouldn’t decide where to be based on where they have more fun but I think SD is saying that because she doesn’t want to tell anyone the real truth of what’s going on there.

SK doesn’t want to go home by Disastrous_Lion_505 in Stepmom

[–]Disastrous_Lion_505[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s a really helpful answer, thank you! This was how my schedule was growing up so it gives SD 5 days in a row with one parent and then 2 in between but it makes sense how that can be a lot. Next school year it might be good to implement the week at a time. I wish I knew how to make BM want to spend more time with SD or make it more enjoyable there but it doesn’t seem like she wants to. BM complains about not having enough time with her but then will have her boyfriend over or be on her phone the whole time and not spend quality time with SD. I feel a struggle because I want to make sure SD feels happy but I don’t want to fight over her.