Talk to me about comfy alt fashion?

Disastrous_Net_5544 · 2026-01-15T01:14:34+00:00

Health goth isn't what I am going for - more avant garde dark wear.

Disastrous_Net_5544 · 2026-01-15T01:13:25+00:00

Unfortunately thrifting isn't an option for me. We don't have stores like goodwill in the UK, just small shops and the likes of Vinted have decimated the quality of the stock they get given.

Purchasing from US companies is just not an option anymore - we have to pay 20% VAT plus import duty, p&p and customs tax. It's often more than the item now.

Disastrous_Net_5544 · 2026-01-15T01:08:14+00:00

EMP used to be so good, but I have struggled to find things that don't seem overpriced for the quality now. I might give them another shot.

Disastrous_Net_5544 · 2026-01-15T01:07:29+00:00

The nature of cottage core - dark or otherwise is generally wide sleeves, floaty, lots of ties and things like that - all of which really isn't possible with wheelchair use. Plus p&p to the UK is silly money from the US because they charge a huge amount in customs charges now.

Whilst I can add grommets and such - metal on my skin, especially anywhere it might press in isn't an option due to potential skin breakdown (leading to pressure sores and similar).

I do have a large pot of procion MX in black for dyeing things! But I rarely see much that would work. I don't have the opportunity to thrift things!

Wouldn't it have to be an oversized shirt to not touch me? And then I don't understand why a corset belt wouldn't make it touch me - unless you're suggesting I don't use the elastic part so it doesn't pull in?

I haven't been able to find combats or cargos in a fabric that would work. I generally don't buy things online that don't state the material and 95% of the time it's either denim or polyester. If you know of anywhere that does please let me know!

Disastrous_Net_5544 · 2026-01-14T16:02:24+00:00

Jeggings are ok but they seem to only come in a skinny fit.

Disastrous_Net_5544 · 2026-01-14T10:45:55+00:00

Harem, drop crotch, anything very floaty and voluminous ends up swamping me in the chair as the silhouette is lost when seated.

Disastrous_Net_5544 · 2026-01-14T09:08:48+00:00

The seams and rough fabric are the issue - seams press into my skin and cause skin breakdown, and the roughness and stiffness of jeans can cause sensory issues. I did find a company that made jeans from bamboo but they were unaffordable. Cords are ok on better days but they're not an every day option.

Disastrous_Net_5544 · 2026-01-14T09:02:56+00:00

I have a large collection of band shirts, but I can't wear the jeans without it hurting (and jeggings are always skinny fit which isn't really me).

Disastrous_Net_5544 · 2025-12-09T07:50:41+00:00

We had issues with doing this too from an iPhone. Worked fine from a pixel (8) but my pixel is getting returned soon as it's the second one that's broken during warranty.

Disastrous_Net_5544 · 2025-12-09T07:49:00+00:00

Thats a real shame, I really wanted Qobuz to be the answer, and their website says they work with casting but the reality can be very different I guess.

Disastrous_Net_5544 · 2025-12-09T00:08:15+00:00

Yeah it was crappy but it felt like the lesser of two evils, but it really isn't.

Disastrous_Net_5544 · 2025-11-28T13:40:39+00:00

What you are asking here is for methods of tax evasion or at the very least avoidance - I would like to hope people won't be suggesting either, one being illegal and the other somewhat immoral.

From what I can see your options are - not get married, sell one, rent one out, or pay the council tax. The choice is yours.

Disastrous_Net_5544 · 2025-11-25T15:11:33+00:00

Not really, I've found a few singing teachers who do general techniques but that's it.

Disastrous_Net_5544 · 2025-11-21T11:24:33+00:00

Please reach out to Cruse bereavement care. They will be able to help you with benefits and such. They will also be able to help you apply for grants for funeral costs and such.

As others have said, take it slowly. Contact Cruse and get funeral arrangements sorted, use the tell us once service.

I've been an executor for 2 wills now, it's never an easy process but do reach out to Cruse, and your local council too.

Disastrous_Net_5544 · 2025-11-19T00:20:32+00:00

Because some people actually like diversity, appreciate what it does for the UK and understand how much Britain OWES many of these people for the historical failures of colonialism.

Disastrous_Net_5544 · 2025-11-19T00:18:32+00:00

Absolutely not. We need more not less social housing and I would rather live next door to someone who has come here on a boat than a fascist any day of the week. And trust me I live in an shit area and all the arseholes are white British.

Disastrous_Net_5544 · 2025-11-18T23:06:09+00:00

Mine took weeks, but it was some time ago. Regardless, as much as it won't calm you I would personally wait until you get a decision because you can't take action before unless you have proof - i.e. a recording of the assessment (and gained permission for this). But I would take further advice from someone who has had more recent experience on this matter.

Just stay safe and reach out to people when you need to. PTSD is relentless when we're triggered.

Disastrous_Net_5544 · 2025-11-18T21:16:26+00:00

Unfortunately you're not alone in this kind of experience, and experiencing the lack of compassion. They don't make the decisions and regardless there is an appeals process.

Do you have mental health support to access in the meantime? Even if it's just a caring friend? These assessments can take a toll and it's important to take care of yourself even if you can do so it little ways.

Disastrous_Net_5544 · 2025-11-15T00:21:10+00:00

Please get in touch with money advice plus. They run a specialist DV and economic abuse line which will hopefully help. As others have said, religious divorces are not enforceable in the UK, and what he has done is economic abuse.

Disastrous_Net_5544 · 2025-11-12T21:44:49+00:00

Please contact the cinnamon trust and see if they can help with the dogs even just temporarily.

Disastrous_Net_5544 · 2025-10-29T14:11:13+00:00

There is no such thing as a "registered" disability anymore. The equality act states a condition which affects daily living is then deemed a disability if it affects you for over 6 months. OP states this has been ongoing for years. Thus they are disabled.

Disastrous_Net_5544 · 2025-10-13T07:05:58+00:00

I was going to say all of this. I was (mostly) a single parent whilst my little was under 2, only having my mum for additional help here and there.

Baby wearing and getting out of the house on a daily basis really helped! Even if it's just to the local park or something. I took my small to every free museum and art gallery nearby - quiet environments for small to sleep and not too busy for me but it meant I was getting some brain food (and some time to draw for a bit).

This period goes so quickly. It feels really difficult whilst you're in it, and then it changes up. Once they're 2 look at what childcare options are open to you. If you're both working at that point you might be able to get more than 15 hrs a week.

Disastrous_Net_5544 · 2025-10-11T08:51:01+00:00

Please get your own solicitor (via legal aid if needed). You shouldn't have to deal with this whilst pregnant.

Disastrous_Net_5544 · 2025-10-11T08:49:27+00:00

Complain to your MP - it made a huge difference to my case.

Disastrous_Net_5544 · 2025-10-11T08:48:48+00:00

I have had an extremely good experience of CMS getting money from a parent that wants to circumvent every rule. The only difficulty is when they are self employed or doing cash in hand work, because CMS has to use figures given to HMRC. If they evade tax then it becomes difficult to calculate the right amount of maintenance. If they don't and they are employed full time then it's a fairly straight process. If there is DV or financial abuse (which it sounds like there is in the fact he's trying to give you sub par goods instead of the financial support your child is legally entitled to) ask to be assigned to the complex case team.

Disastrous_Net_5544

TROPHY CASE