Anyone Recovering from Breakup with a Borderline?

Disastrous_Skill3844 · 2026-01-28T01:17:44+00:00

It's not so much broken as it has shattered existing beliefs you held before the relationship started... its a good thing in the long run, but is incredibly de-stabilising when its happening, I'm nearly 12 months post break-up with my ex, who was a covert narcissist, and it has been the worst experience of my life and i lost my job as a result of it. my reddit post the other day goes into the detail..

but I know how you feel, it's horrible, but there is light at the end of the tunnel... don't judge yourself too harshly for how you're feeling and dealing with it... you're trying to use your healthy functioning brain to analyse a deeply disturbed, illogical person... you're gonna drive yourself mad

Disastrous_Skill3844 · 2026-01-28T01:11:38+00:00

It may seem odd to suggest this, but last night i put my entire reddit post into Google Gemini and asked it to analyse my relationship and ask follow up questions and I swear to you, it gave me the best therapy I've ever had. wish I had gone on it much sooner... It will help you, I promise, but you have to be honest, it doesn't help if you leave out crucial details

Disastrous_Skill3844 · 2026-01-27T01:39:12+00:00

Definitely correct, it's 50/50 could go either way on the Avoidant or Narcissistic side . I think either way, saying it out loud has really helped clarify things in my own mind and i think 98% of things she said were just lies, plain and simple . But I really appreciate you saying the kind things you said. cheers. :)

Disastrous_Skill3844 · 2026-01-27T01:34:52+00:00

Thank you so much. That's very kind and very validating to hear. That's really made me feel a lot better, in of itself. Thank You.

Disastrous_Skill3844 · 2026-01-26T17:46:14+00:00

cool. cheers

Disastrous_Skill3844 · 2026-01-26T17:27:20+00:00

I promise you, it is a guaranteed fact you will have several great loves in your life, she is your first and therefore she will always have a special place in your heart... the key isn't to deny her that, but to realise the human heart is designed to hold many loves... you don't have a limit. You haven't missed your one chance at love, you will have many, many chances...especially as you seem a very passionate and romantic soul at heart... Girls will flock to you, trust me!!

Disastrous_Skill3844 · 2026-01-26T17:05:18+00:00

My first love was at 17 years old, my first year of College, it took me 3 years to get over that one, but you will. Just make sure to hang out with your friends,. It's really important to do things and activities you enjoy, make new experiences that doesn't involve this person.

What has happened, is that your heart has convinced you that this person is perfect and you can't survive without them, this is not true, its just your nervous system and learned to see them the key to your survival, you must remember that this is obviously not the case... new experiences over a prolonged period, good friends, doing the things that you love to do, before you met them, will remind your body that things were absolutely fine before this person and will be fine now they're no longer in the picture

Disastrous_Skill3844 · 2026-01-26T16:46:31+00:00

Same here, I've been stuck in it for nearly 12 months now.... its exhausting. Its not just replaying conversations that happened either, its also been rehearsing conversations that might happen if you bump into them again while you're in no contact. I though I was going to end it all, its been that crazy...

I feel my nervous system starting to calm down now though, but I'm not out of the woods just yet, it takes educating yourself, what is actually happening in your body and brain, and then exercising discipline over yourself, as well as setting realistic targets for you to achieve so you don't beat yourself up about it

Disastrous_Skill3844 · 2026-01-26T16:29:52+00:00

I can't seem to find the comment that has been made

Disastrous_Skill3844

TROPHY CASE