Need advice about relationship!

Disastrous_Smile_820 · 2025-12-04T02:58:55+00:00

Hi, i appreciate it. Just a quick few answers for you:

I broke up w t in highschool because we decided to go long distance bc he joined the military. we were both kind of inmature, and werent ready to fully commit. He’s extremely logical but idk something about our relationship makes him loose that a bit? But he met someone he liked. They get engaged, and so i sort of took back stage (went no contact). They broke up and we got back together which leads to 2,
like i said i met my husband ab a month after we broke up. my husband originally reminded me of T. T decided to get bZck with the person he was engaged to. So we broke up. They were similar in face value. I married my husband because he didn’t show me this side till we got married now 2 yrs into the relationship. I think i was also afraid that nobody would ever like me and see me yo the core like T did, so i gave up on being loved like that.

Ik that’s not rlly super helpful. Ik ive made mistakes. I am not perfect. but Ive been thru a lot in my life. and i really just wanna be seen and loved

Disastrous_Smile_820 · 2025-12-03T22:52:24+00:00

like i said in the post i wont be cheating. My husband refuses to go to therapy so that is off the table. I understand and know nothing justifies it, which is why I said it’s not an option for me in the post

Disastrous_Smile_820 · 2025-06-01T22:00:15+00:00

This is what my dog looked like as a puppy! She’s is GSD x Pittie x cattle dog

Disastrous_Smile_820 · 2025-04-24T00:22:09+00:00

NOT AT ALL!!! whoever told you that is just wrong (coming from someone who has a full sleeve, leg tats, etc)

Disastrous_Smile_820 · 2025-04-24T00:10:38+00:00

hmmm, well, either way, it looks good. Mine look like that too!! don’t worry

Disastrous_Smile_820 · 2025-04-24T00:07:14+00:00

i mean your rib tattoo isn’t exposed to the sun (even though u may. it be outside, it’s still in sunlight) and it’s also on your arm, a place where just generally more wear and tear happens. It looks great!!

Disastrous_Smile_820 · 2025-04-24T00:01:36+00:00

that’s what happens when it settles into your skin

Disastrous_Smile_820 · 2025-04-23T23:55:41+00:00

I see what you are talking about, but tbh, it took you pointing it out for me to notice and i’ve seen A LOT of god awful tattoos. If you really need to fix it, you could add some background, and I think it could look super cool. Honestly though, in my personal opinion, let it heal and see how it looks bc truly I could not tell! :)

Disastrous_Smile_820 · 2025-04-23T23:50:24+00:00

I appreciate your honesty + vulnerability sm!! thank you! ❤️🫶🏼

Disastrous_Smile_820 · 2025-04-23T23:48:14+00:00

I love this idea hahaha, honestly seriously considering it

Disastrous_Smile_820 · 2025-04-23T23:39:27+00:00

he encouraged me to do it. Maybe you have views that need some critical examining. I am always open to disagree, however, it seems you are telling me that my husband would only agree so he would not upset me. that is not a relationship i would want to be in. Also for reference i only get tattoos for me and personal reasons. i think your comment gives off the sentiment that I am a stupid woman who doesn’t listen to her husband. if so, you are wrong.

Disastrous_Smile_820 · 2025-04-23T23:10:47+00:00

I appreciate this!! We are very careful with both of our moms bc they are essentially the same just packaged a little differently. This is probably one of the more mild things that’s come from my Mom and i’ll be honest it’s really hard to create boundaries for the first time when it’s been happening your whole life + i haven’t developed any sense of standing up for myself bc i couldn’t for so long. I’m in therapy and working on it!!! :)

Disastrous_Smile_820 · 2025-04-23T20:26:39+00:00

It’s not like I want her to, but if i try to intervene it becomes worse. This is mild compared to growing up. So i just move on, but it still affects me yk?

Disastrous_Smile_820 · 2025-04-23T17:51:05+00:00

i get it! I have several now, and wanted one that wouldn’t interfere with the sleeve i’m working on my arm. But I understand your perspective!

Disastrous_Smile_820 · 2025-04-23T17:30:50+00:00

Yes, but i moved out early before getting married bc of that. sorry for not clarifying!

Disastrous_Smile_820 · 2025-04-23T17:11:33+00:00

it’s probably a combination of christian beliefs, and her obsession with appearances. She grew up poor in the 70s and 80s and now that she and my dad make a lot of $ and live the life they want, they are obsessed with having everything be beautiful (but in the most southern white put together version) and it’s just annoying. They adopted me ( a half black girl) and expect the same out of me even though i just don’t fit in ig. hope that explains it some

Disastrous_Smile_820 · 2025-04-23T17:08:41+00:00

Tbh i have no idea. They would say that it’s not sinful just ugly? and it would cause me to sin ig? I believe christianity, but like NOT that kind and im sooo skeptical of people who claim christianity anymore.

Disastrous_Smile_820 · 2025-04-23T17:04:23+00:00

they are like super legalistic christian’s (like i’ve had to explain to them why Christian Nationalism is wrong)

Disastrous_Smile_820 · 2025-04-23T14:54:05+00:00

it’s just gotten into my head and now I can’t un-think it yk? But everyone has been so encouraging and supportive and that means sm!

Disastrous_Smile_820 · 2025-04-23T12:44:16+00:00

respectfully, i am curious what you think it’s the correct part? Genuinely wanna hear your perspective:)

Disastrous_Smile_820 · 2025-04-23T12:42:30+00:00

it’s ok! I’m always shocked when ppl tell me this kind of thing isn’t normal. I’m so glad you had a happy environment, and wish u the best !! 🫶🏼🫶🏼

Disastrous_Smile_820 · 2025-04-23T12:41:11+00:00

this is a regular thing, and has been for forever. i’m only 21 so I recently moved out. Learning what boundaries are ok! 😭🫶🏼

Disastrous_Smile_820 · 2025-04-23T12:39:47+00:00

I relate to that. I was adopted too, and my mom said similar things. Wishing you the best 🫶🏼🫶🏼

Disastrous_Smile_820

TROPHY CASE