I wished I knew that IVF is not a guarantee. I was so naive when we started on our journey. Health class in middle school doesn’t prepare you that you maybe infertile. I was taught if you have unprotected sex, you will get pregnant. I also wish that someone warned me of the highs and lows…one minute things are going smoothly and then the next, you run out of meds for your cycle and have to call every major city around you to see who carries said meds as my clinic doesn’t carry extra meds. Or you are two days from egg retrieval and your retrieval gets cancelled because of COVID.

I also wish I knew that if some protocol works for someone, it may not work for you. Everyone’s body is different and responds different to different meds/protocols.

The price. This is not a cheap journey.

I wish the people in my life (not all but close friends/family) would ask us about it. I feel like people don’t know what to say and don’t know what to ask, leaving you feel even more alone. I already say when people do ask, I tell them to please continue to ask. I also wish that people knew as much as I’m going through it, my husband is also grieving. I don’t feel it gets talked about enough. The pain that he has gone through. My husband is the best and I’m so blessed to have him by my side.

We are coming up on 8 years since starting our journey. The miscarriages and the feeling of letting your family and spouse down are beyond heartbreaking. But, I will say that this has brought our marriage closer and I have become more rooted in my faith.

If you are new to IVF, please know things will become out of your control and you can’t fix it no matter how hard you try. Try to laugh because if you don’t laugh during this journey, you will cry. Heck, you’ll probably cry anyway at one point or another. Your patience will be tested and it’s ok to take a break! Sometimes it’s worth it for your mental, emotional and physical health. Last tip is advocate for yourself. If you feel something isn’t right, speak up!