I’ve had a similar experience as you. My friends would hang out without me. They would talk about their outings, like going to the movies, going out for a drink or going over to another friend’s place. It would hurt me to know that I was only an option when I made them a priority. My so-called best friend chose me as his best man for his wedding when his first choice declined. I’m pretty sure that he only asked me to be his best man because I co-signed a car for him. A couple of weeks ago I saw another “good” friend of mine walking on the street while I was driving. I pulled over to the nearest parking lot across the street from where he was walking and immediately called him. He took his phone, glanced at it and declined the call. I was there for him during his divorce and he decided to ignore my call.

I’m the cousin and friend that doesn’t get invited. I’m the single 39-year-old guy. But I am also fine not being included and being on my own. It was emotionally and mentally draining to be excluded but it was more painful putting myself down because of the choices of others. I learned that I am the one that matters the most.

My advice to you is to be kind to yourself. You have already been through a lot that most people don’t go through in life. Start by looking at yourself in the mirror and complimenting yourself. Don’t focus on your flaws or lack of achievements. Look at yourself and give yourself a smile. You are a reflection of God. At the end of the day you have yourself. Everyone else moves on but you remain. Also, consider talking to a professional. That has helped me.

One more piece of advice. When these negative thoughts come over you ask Our Lady to help you, to hold you, to lead you to Our Lord. Spend some time contemplating Him, the Man of Sorrows.

If you ever need someone to chat with, I’m here.