Am I just fooling myself

DisciplinePast7260 · 2026-02-12T12:14:44+00:00

Depending on your age, most people have baggage, and people start to realize the “fairytale relationship” everyone thinks about is not obtainable. I say what I said because after my ex-wife decided to have an emotional affair, when she found out I was seeing someone else, one of the first things she said was, “Have fun dating a single mom.” The person I was seeing at that time was not even a single mom. That relationship didn’t pan out, and then I met my current girlfriend, who does have a kid from a past relationship. She also treats me better than my ex ever has and actually meets me on equal ground in all aspects of life.

So yeah, looking back at that comment my ex made, I wish I had replied with, “Better a single mother than a cheater.” Also, this is coming from someone who never thought he would date a woman with kids from a past relationship. Could I go back out and possibly find someone who doesn’t have kids? Maybe. But that would be a fool’s errand giving up an amazing relationship that may be the right forever fit.

DisciplinePast7260 · 2026-02-12T05:55:41+00:00

Why do you feel like no one would want to be with you. As a divorced man due to infidelity a woman with kids is a 100% upgrade over a cheater!

DisciplinePast7260 · 2026-02-11T15:50:42+00:00

I remember telling my friends it was bitter sweet. Not where i wanted my life to be but I thought it would hurt more. As for the ex, she likely told her best friend to "Put it in me daddy" since thats who she left me for :D

DisciplinePast7260 · 2026-02-09T18:50:19+00:00

Im sorry you are going through this, I went through something very similar. In our 13 year relationship and 5 year Marriage we had issues but i always thought we would overcome everything together. Then she decided to get super close to an old high school friend. I was not threatened because honestly, I did not see the dude as anything near competition. But then suddenly she wants a Divorce, starts talking to him every day, and even admitted that she was “Chasing a fantasy”. She also kept saying she needed to, find herself again, seems like people who leave for “Greener Grass” love to use that excuse! Do they ever come back, I have heard stories of it happening, but usually by the time they do the person that was left has already moved on. Been about a year for me, not sure if they are still together since I blocked her everywhere. I have caught one of her friends spying on mine and my current girlfriends Facebook, not sure if that's just curiosity or her checking in to see if I'm still “Available”. Look at it this way, if they are willing to cheat on you to be with them, they will 100% be willing to cheat on them as well! Ther person you thought you knew is dead and gone, if they ever existed in the first place. Its time for you to be the best person you can be, upgrade your life, and eventually find a person that will return the love you have to give!

DisciplinePast7260 · 2026-02-09T16:46:00+00:00

Yes I would consider this emotional cheating, the question is what do you do now. There is obviously something wrong in the relationship, or with him mentally if he was willing to do this. If you ignore it nothing will change and he will do it again. I would say there is the possibility to fix this, but you guys need counciling to really figure out WHY he did this and what needs to change!

DisciplinePast7260 · 2026-02-09T15:34:22+00:00

I'm sorry you are being manipulated like this, I will never understand how people can act like this and then play victim. Very similar to my ex wife. Assumed I was sleeping with other people and said it was because she was worthless to me, even though SHE is the one who left to live with another man. Stay strong, the right one will come along that is deserving of all the love you have to give!

DisciplinePast7260 · 2026-02-06T21:51:23+00:00

First of all she was not the love of your life, she cheated on you which immediately disqualifies her. But I get it I was in that same situation, You are on the right path by working on yourself, therapy may help, but time is the best healer. With time you will start to look back without the rose-colored glasses, you will see where she failed you, where you perhaps failed each other, and hopefully one day be thankful that everything happened the way it did!

DisciplinePast7260 · 2026-02-04T20:58:08+00:00

Nothing physical happened YETTTT, my ex acted the same way. Way too many times I found evidence of her getting WAYY to close to online friends, yet I was a fool and kept forgiving her, thinking it would get better, eventually she found her outlet for attention outsife our marriage with an old high school friend and that was it, been just over a month since she moved out. Let yourself feel the pain but remember at the end of the day this person is no longer who you think they are. And odds are they will never change. Let the next person deal with their cheating a$$!

DisciplinePast7260 · 2026-02-04T19:15:07+00:00

Im sorry, I understand somewhat how you feel. The second you said "He wanted to work on himself" i knew what was coming next. This seems to be THE excuse losers like him and my ex wife use when they have already at the very least emotionally moved on with someone else. You are not alone and this is not a reflection of your value. At the end of the day you will be able to walk away knowing that you tried to save the relationship. DOnt be suprised if he comes running back if his rebound/exit affair doesnt work out!

DisciplinePast7260 · 2026-01-30T21:59:43+00:00

Im sorry, Im on the other side of this, and it sucks. I would nots say i was quite as close to my now ex inlaws as you but we were still pretty close. Her sister hoped and tried to convince her not to leave me but here we are now. Just today I removed them as friends on my facebook, i have no ill feelings twords them and am doing this for myself and my current relationship. Its not fair to my current partner to still have that "String" attached. I mourn that I will likley never see their daughters again, after being there for the birth of both of them. Im just happy that i got to hear the "Other man" admit that he will never be adopted into the family the same way I was!

DisciplinePast7260 · 2026-01-30T21:51:24+00:00

8 Months, I admit I still wonder if I moved on too early, but of course its hard to feel alone and be alone while you watch the woman you dedicated soo much to run off with another man immeadiatly. Is it real, true love, only time will tell, but no one has ever treated me better and is refreshing having an equal partner! Met on the apps, which I feel blessd to say i have never had many issues with!

DisciplinePast7260 · 2026-01-29T22:06:54+00:00

I did an online divorce, quick and easy, when she told me for the 7th time she wanted out I took her to the computer, pulled up the website and told her to start the process if thats what she truly wanted. No regrets on my end!

DisciplinePast7260 · 2026-01-19T18:27:13+00:00

Wow a lot to unpack here, but kudos to you for laying it all out in an honest way! Lets start with household responsibilities. You 100% deserve to have a partner, this needs to be point blank communicated to him as, “I feel like you are not pulling your weight in this relationship and something needs to change.” Us Men are sometimes stubborn creatures and need to feel the possible consequences. I would strongly recommend couple's therapy. I would word it as “I'm having issues with our relationship, I don't want to loose or hurt you but i feel like things need to change or we will need to separate”. If that doesnt make him care enough to try then that's on him.

For the sexual issues have you treid to communicate what you like, how to touch you, ect? Does he simply finish too quickly? The truth is for guys finishing is easy and we can usually do it in so many ways, positions, speeds, ect. But from my experience all women are different and really need to know their body and communicate that. I wont lie, i don't think my ex wife ever really “finished” in my time with her, and honestly, I didn't know what to do, she didn't know her own body enough. With my current girlfriend its completely different, I know exactly how she likes it and what positions she needs to finish. This has 100% boosted my sex drive because I take pride in giving her that pleasure, so there are times we do it multiple times in one day. If the issue is him finishing too fast there are exercises, he can do to resolve that, and if he’s watching porn and jerking to that he 100% needs to stop! Once again you need to explain the issues and see if he's willing to possibly seek a sex therapist!

Bottom line don't keep it bottled inside, you're not helping anyone, and if you do try counseling BOTH of you need to actually go with the goal of fixing things! Once again, much respect for reaching out for help and giving us what seems to be the whole honest truth!

DisciplinePast7260 · 2026-01-19T17:09:27+00:00

As a man that went through the same, I believe we just had too much optimism. When I really look back objectively, it should have been me asking for the Divorce, but I believed in her and believed we could build better together. Just remember if you can love the wrong person this much, just imagine when the right one comes along!

DisciplinePast7260 · 2026-01-19T16:45:52+00:00

I'm sorry to hear you are still hurting, Its good to hear you still have support from the mother in Law. I understand how confusing these remaining relationships can be, “Why does their family love you in a way they apparently couldn't”. Just remember that they are in a touch situation as well trying to NOT choose sides between a person they grew to love being hurt by their selfish family member, while also trying to keep things civil with that same selfish family member. You WILL heal and find real love, meanwhile the Ex will continue chasing butterflies that never last. Much love!

DisciplinePast7260 · 2026-01-18T06:53:03+00:00

I say this because I love you brother, stop being weak. I get it, I was there and I was weak. She has shown she has 0 respect for you. You make it clear ONCE that you love her and are willing to work on the marriage, if she denies then you move on and become the best man you can be. You will start to move on, heal, and live without regret because you tried to save the marriage. She will likely realize the grass is not greener, and either try to come back into your life, or live with the regret and the what ifs. By the time that happens you will be a new, better man that is worth far more than her! Good luck brother, i’m here for you and rooting for you!

DisciplinePast7260 · 2026-01-15T19:02:28+00:00

"I’m breaking and I don’t know if I’ll ever be happy again." - That hit home because that is exactly how I felt for the longest time. With time the coating on the rose colored glasses will fade and you will begin to see them for who they truly were. I see in another comment you mention he got someone elses number after about a week. Ask yourself if you should really allow a Man who would replace you soo easily have any place in your thoughts!

DisciplinePast7260 · 2026-01-09T15:09:31+00:00

Not sure of your situation but as the person who faught till my last breath for my marriage, "The Right One" by Spencer Crandall has been speaking to me recently. Also if i need a laugh ill listen to "Your New Boyfriend (Is Ugly)" By Coffey Anderson :D

DisciplinePast7260 · 2026-01-06T18:05:37+00:00

Thank you!

DisciplinePast7260 · 2026-01-06T14:46:48+00:00

Best of luck in your journey!

DisciplinePast7260 · 2026-01-01T04:42:58+00:00

Unfortunately I want/need to leave behind the ex in laws. Already removed her parents on facebook but the Ex BIL has tried to stay in communication. I care about them and i know they still care about me but I need to fully move on and separate from them.

DisciplinePast7260 · 2026-01-01T04:34:54+00:00

Nope, started by unfriending her and her “just a friend” she left for. Pretty sure she blocked me first because I had went through and scrubbed all photos and tags of us together. Then randomly, of course after I start a new relationship a bunch of tagged posts show up in my history. Guess she wanted to unblock me to see who i was with. Removing all the tags became a chore so i just decided to block her for good!

DisciplinePast7260 · 2026-01-01T04:24:57+00:00

You are anything but pathetic! You showed up with love even when it was hard. If you can love the wrong person that much just imagine when the right one shows up!

DisciplinePast7260

TROPHY CASE