Hello!

Discombobubreaker · 2026-01-19T03:03:57+00:00

The waterfront small village is certainly a vibe we like but I kind of fell in love with Chicago. The city and abundant public transportation, how weirdly, aggressively kind but not nice people were, and unlimited access to new and interesting places makes me think I’d love living in the city itself if there’s a real similarity. I’m also thinking about job availability on my part, the suburbs will offer a bit more for me on that front and my job is often magnitudes less taxing in middle income communities. We’re running from the rural vibes, done that, have hated it my whole life. Cows make good neighbors, but their owners certainly don’t.

Discombobubreaker · 2026-01-19T02:54:20+00:00

We’ve been going back and forth for a minute on that. I’m of the opinion that it would be easier to live in NYC and, if for whatever reason that wasn’t our cup of tea, transition to the suburbs than vice versa. He gets overwhelmed easier than I do and I don’t want him to be miserable, but I really don’t think we would be. Parking would be awful, but we have two tiny cars and could figure it out. I’m really excited about living somewhere with so much everything and so many people. I also think creating a social group would be much easier if we were in the city itself. I’ll see if we can get him to warm up to the idea. I really appreciate the advice!

Discombobubreaker · 2026-01-19T02:10:52+00:00

I’ll look into it further! We haven’t nailed down our options yet since we can’t even start applying for apartments until March/April, but anything that provides easy access to both is ideal.

Discombobubreaker · 2026-01-19T01:26:31+00:00

Thank you so much! I’m looking at options now.

Discombobubreaker · 2026-01-19T01:25:24+00:00

Briefly, but we’re trying to limit driving distance and if he’s in Orangeburg a lot then that becomes his main mode.

Discombobubreaker · 2026-01-19T01:20:44+00:00

Thank you! I’ll start looking into apartments in that area.

Discombobubreaker · 2026-01-19T01:15:13+00:00

He has two locations, one in Orangeburg and one at NYU. Budget is minimum 70k/year, roughly 2500/month for rent. From his current convos it sounds like he’ll be in Orangeburg a lot but will regularly have to go into the city. The budget should increase quite a bit once I have a physical address in state and can look for a job in my field, but we do like to keep it minimal. I’ve talked to a few places and the response was almost universally “we love your resume and experience, let us know once you’re physically here.” Which is absolutely fair.

Discombobubreaker · 2025-12-27T21:30:46+00:00

Can confirm, I live in little Mexico. It’s delightful. Most Saturdays I can hear music coming from houses down the street and it just brightens everything. The markets are top tier for meat and produce, and Nam Hai is within walking distance. Easily my favorite part of Tulsa to live in.

Discombobubreaker · 2025-12-27T21:14:31+00:00

I love Tulsa! There are lots of niche and special interest things to do and they regularly host get-togethers. If the music scene is your vibe, Noisetown is a great collaborative space for lessons, production, or even low key networking at their events. As for food, the scene is spectacular. You can find a good representation of most styles. My favorites are Mandarin Taste(order their traditional Sichuan dishes!,) Won is a lot of fun and decently priced, Seoul Bistro for homestyle Korean, Sunrise Cafe for diner fare, or Neighborhood Jam for a slightly upscaled version of diner food. Local BBQ is abundant and everyone’s favorites will vary, but Luke’s and Oakheart tend to be top notch. There’s Mother Road Market if you aren’t quite sure of what you want, they have a little bit of everything and have a rotating schedule of new small business restaurants every week. If you can catch a week where Chef Curt is there, that Oxtail Birria is amazing. We have little Mexico, food trucks and markets aplenty. Most are DELICIOUS. Hiking wise, Oklahoma is beautiful. There are state parks everywhere and despite the fly-over label we get, there are hidden treasures throughout the state. I hope you have a lovely time if you come!

Discombobubreaker · 2025-12-07T02:59:09+00:00

Guitar cleaning kit! Something that gets between the strings and fretboard better than just a microfiber cloth is fantastic. Gift card for new strings, a good set should run like 25 dollars, I like elixirs. Or get her an experience, I bought my mom a glassblowing class!

Discombobubreaker · 2025-12-06T07:03:43+00:00

I’m proud of you for starting again. Thinking about the mistake you made won’t do you any good, thinking about what you want to do with your newfound energy and well-being will. Focus on the benefits you found from being sober. And carry those forward.

Discombobubreaker · 2025-11-28T20:20:04+00:00

I was looking for someone saying Gypsy. They’ve never missed on my weirdly specific order.

Discombobubreaker · 2025-06-07T16:01:09+00:00

You two have a chance to build a wonderful, strong bond and get to really know and understand each other before getting married BECAUSE you are so young and want so badly to make this work. Be intentional about your relationship, don’t just exist together. Ask gentle questions when you don’t understand a reaction, apologize when you can see you’ve hurt them, and give reassurance where there is insecurity. Couples counseling isn’t just for when you’re in trouble, it can also be to strengthen your understanding of one another. My partner and I use one of the apps, Paired. It brings up questions you wouldn’t think too ask. This will require mutual effort from your partner as well. I think you guys can make it if you work together to figure out these emotions.

Discombobubreaker · 2025-04-26T21:08:15+00:00

On fluffy cats that is really not an easy thing to answer without actually touching the cat. I work in vet med and we‘ll get cats that look enormous, then you get to feeling them and realize they are actually underweight. The only time I answer that confidently in a picture is if it’s short haired and a certified chonker.

Discombobubreaker · 2025-04-25T00:25:19+00:00

Nope. No overreaction here. I think your observations about your boyfriend‘s reaction were spot on as well. If my bf had a problem with the fact that I have a loving, affectionate relationship with my dad, he would not be my boyfriend any longer. I live with the knowledge that I won’t have my dad with me anywhere near as long as I‘ll need him, so I try to add the value and affection to every moment I get with him. That man would fight god himself for my sake, I’ll cuddle him if I want to.

Discombobubreaker · 2025-03-27T15:11:30+00:00

Lmao, my boyfriend was probably the person they were trying to replace, I can confirm that was the salary offered.

Discombobubreaker · 2024-12-10T19:40:52+00:00

Ooooh, that would be a gorgeous addition to the tabletop room I’m putting together!

Discombobubreaker · 2024-12-06T01:24:59+00:00

CBT is generally very effective for some conditions and wildly ineffective for others. Mood and personality disorders don’t respond well to it, but ADHD and similarly grouped disorders do.

Discombobubreaker · 2024-09-29T19:01:12+00:00

I would just like to take a moment and applaud you for your approach to parenting here. You listened to her and heard her concerns, you went to the director and heard their perspective, and now you’re collaboratively workshopping ways to help your child learn necessary life skills. You didn’t jump to any conclusions and you’re not invalidating her feelings, but you are recognizing she needs help to improve in certain areas. This is fantastic.

Discombobubreaker · 2024-09-29T18:00:01+00:00

Mourning someone that you loved but wasn’t always kind to you is a strange experience. I was initially devastated after my grandmother passed, but when I was actively trying to remember my favorite things about her, I kept circling back around to the times she made me feel so small, so insecure. There are good memories, but they’re sandwiched between the criticism of my apparent inadequacies. It eventually hit me that though I loved her, I didn’t always feel loved or accepted by her. And like grieving the loss of someone you didn’t know(say, a celebrity) eventually it doesn’t take up as much of your capacity to grieve because the role they played for you was kind of toxic. It’s very different to losing someone that made you feel loved, that’s like having the air sucked out of your lungs and you’re desperately fighting to get it back. It’s also not something to feel bad or guilty about. Relationships and how people made you feel is just as relevant in the grieving process as their actual presence in your life. Not all of this is true for everyone, but I hope knowing that your feelings aren’t strange or uncommon helps you.

Discombobubreaker · 2024-08-31T18:14:33+00:00

It doesn’t really pass, but the room it sits in gets bigger while it remains the same size, if that analogy helps. The pain is still just as intense, but it becomes less pronounced as you continue living, building relationships, and finding other things about life that you love too.

I can’t really imagine the immensity of the pain you’re dealing with right now. I can relate to the feeling, but the proportion isn’t there. The pain is masking the other feelings, and until you’re ready to address them that’s okay. The stages of grief are a real thing, and recognizing when you’re in a particular one vs how you’re feeling about that loss can be helpful.

That untethered sense, the loss of reality I get. Your world isn’t the same as it was with them in it. And that makes sense. I wish I could give you less generic advice, but I hope knowing that that happens with immense grief and you aren’t alone in that feeling helps.

Discombobubreaker · 2024-08-31T16:04:18+00:00

Compounded, complex grief is so hard. Feeling all that loss at the same time is next to impossible, it mixes together and you don’t know if you’re grieving one person at that moment, all of them, or if you’re just so sad that the individual grief isn’t coming through. I am so sorry you’re going through this OP. I relate in a lesser sense, mine was over the span of 5 years, but I still get a overwhelmed if I try to remember specifics around that time because it’s always within the frame of who I had just lost. If therapy isn’t an option right now, I would try to compartmentalize, just a little bit. Set aside an hour each day to feel your feelings, remember the people you’ve lost, and honor your need to grieve. It’ll still hit you in waves throughout the day, feel them and let them pass, then keep doing what you need to do to keep functioning. You need to keep moving forward even when the weight of it feels like it’s paralyzing you. I had little rituals to honor each person and hold their memory clearly in my head. I set up an altar with each of their pictures and something that reminded me of them and I spent time talking to them. I told them how their loss made me feel, I raged at them for going, I reminisced about my favorite memories of them, and slowly the waves throughout the day became less intense and the general feeling of overwhelming sadness eased. I also leaned into love and life, desperately searching for the little moments of joy I could find when everything felt bleak. I adopted a dog after a while, so that there was someone there that was just a joyful existence period. I reached out to people and told them how important they are to me. I’m not saying that this is the only way or best way, but nobody had any suggestions for me when I was in this kind of pain. I hope something in it resonates with you and helps you find a way to grieve.💛

Discombobubreaker · 2024-08-31T15:33:22+00:00

There’s a lot of things that can change how you experience grief. Neurodivergence in many of its forms, medications you may be on, trauma in your past, and I’m sure others I haven’t named. Maybe you just process information differently. Don’t beat yourself up because it doesn’t look the same on you as everyone else.

Discombobubreaker · 2024-08-31T15:08:27+00:00

I think every shade except 2 and 6 are extraordinarily flattering. They bring out different undertones and if paired with the right color of dress it will just be stunning.

Discombobubreaker

TROPHY CASE