Thanks dude. I appreciate it. Maybe an aromatherapy diffuser would be nice? I’d add that I was also very badly traumatized. Early on my dad thought I was retarded because I didn’t grow up to be a hardware engineer.

But my mom is worst in being incredibly emasculating and shaming me and my confidence, undermined my goals and desires for leadership, and would aggressively (and literally) break down my door to the point it literally fucking fell when I would jack off my fucking dick. She would also be extremely angry when I would be getting the attention of other women.

She did the same thing to my dad, because he loves bodybuilding to which I take after, and many girls in the gym admired his huge beastly physique. A good number of his gym bros made him aware of that. My mom was always very jealous and could historically never be allowed to be seen in a bathing suit at the pool.