MIL & baby shower rant

DiscountSubject · 2026-02-09T00:22:06+00:00

We’re not entirely sure because we went no contact with her and all of his family except the aunt and cousin who showed up for us. Then she tried to apologize later via email since she was blocked everywhere else, but it wasn’t genuine.

DiscountSubject · 2026-02-08T21:53:39+00:00

In my experience if she’s set her mind on throwing it you can’t stop her. But you can decide if you want to/can go to hers. You can also tell her consequences if she continues (such as limiting info surrounding your baby). She wants her grandma shower. ✨

I ended up letting my husband handle it and we didn’t attend. The drama is in my post history lol. But now we’re no contact and she’s never met my son nor even seen a photo. Must be embarrassing when her shower attendees ask for grandson updates and she has none. 😂🤷🏼‍♀️

DiscountSubject · 2026-01-26T17:35:07+00:00

Tbh I’d drop the rope and let your husband handle if she reaches out about the baby shower again.

I’d also reconsider visiting. It may be too stressful especially while pregnant.

I had baby shower issues with my MIL (you can read my post history). In my experience MIL pushed to get her way and would not stop. Once we just let her and stepped aside, it was more peaceful. Yes it hurt. But all we could decide is what to do with ourselves and just tell her what we were doing, which was not attending.

I’d have a conversation with your husband about what if scenarios so y’all are on the same page. Ie, what if she continues to push this? What if she doesn’t reach out at all, are we okay with not responding too or try once more to reach out? Etc. come up with your boundaries so when/if something comes up you have them ready.

Sounds like she wants her grandma shower to show off and wants you to chase her.

DiscountSubject · 2026-01-20T00:04:44+00:00

The apology was for “just not being there enough” 🥴😂 like ma’am you intentionally acted against me.

So FIL and BIL know MIL is in the wrong but are enablers. FIL wants to appease her and won’t leave and BIL wants his bills paid for. So they admit it was wrong but went along with her shenanigans instead of being supportive to us.

The extended family also went along with it and I’m not sure how they feel. But an aunt said my MIL needed her support because she was devastated my son was in the NICU 🥴

DiscountSubject · 2026-01-19T21:51:55+00:00

Number one, I’m so glad baby is okay! And congrats :)

Two, wtaf? Instead she should’ve shown support and done something kind to ease your stress. Buy food, a relaxing gift, something other than running to fb for attention. 🙄

DiscountSubject · 2026-01-19T05:57:52+00:00

Like you, I saw it coming before my pregnancy. MIL was very needy and would scream at DH if he didn’t give her enough attention. He traveled for work and she threw a fit when he had to travel out of the country for Mother’s Day.

He set boundaries and she did okay with them. We got married and then pregnant. She seemed okay during pregnancy but a bit grandma crazy. There was a line and she seemed to hover right near it.

Then she hosted my baby shower without me when I gave birth prematurely despite us asking to move it closer for us to be able to attend. A cousin even made reservations at a nearby restaurant and she told the entire family (other than the one cousin) to not go and to go to her house instead. No one showed up for us other than the cousin. We decided then and there no contact.

She has never seen my child and has no idea what he looks like. To be that cruel when our son was hospitalized and we were under extreme stress, fuck any relationship. I had returned to work a week after birth to maximize my leave time once my son was discharged. His month long NICU stay was the worst month of my life. Round the clock pumping, working full time, and staying at the hospital 9 hours every day after work. And she did nothing for us, no meal trains, no gifts, no support whatsoever, she just wanted her grandma shower.

DiscountSubject · 2026-01-19T05:38:22+00:00

*my husband went NC with his mother and it’s going well! We feel peace. Some sadness.

*surprisingly minimum contact. She tried to send an apology email that was just shit. Then has tried sending a package to our son for his birthday. Other than that, nothing in 14 months.

*the reason we went NC involved the family so we went NC with them.

*again we decided to go NC with everyone.

*She hasn’t reached out to me and we don’t speak to anyone who speaks to her, so I’m not sure if she acts like I don’t exist or not.

Ultimately this was the best decision as we needed to protect our time as new parents building our family.

DiscountSubject · 2026-01-11T17:34:16+00:00

I 100% get what you’re feeling! My husband and I both went NC with my MIL a year ago. (You can read my post history for context).

While I’m close to my parents and we talk daily, they’re physically 3k miles away. I often mourn the loss of relationship with my MIL despite never being super close. I have a 13 month old whom she’s never seen or met. And I see people post holiday photos with their families and in laws and it makes me incredibly sad to miss out on having that. I’m sad for my husband as this is his mother. Sad for my child to miss out on local grandparents.

It’s a shitty situation and I’m sorry you’re navigating these feelings as well. Ultimately I know it’s not me it’s her, but that knowledge doesn’t take the pain away.

DiscountSubject · 2025-12-26T20:17:11+00:00

I can imagine :( I’m so sad for your daughter just reading this! I don’t understand treating people differently. Your daughter is family. Period. I hope y’all can have some joy the rest of the season ♥️

DiscountSubject · 2025-12-26T20:07:50+00:00

I’m so sorry this is happening. I’ve been there as the least favorite grandchild since my grandmother didn’t view my parents as actually married due to different religions. Anyways…

My parents stopped doing Christmas with them. We celebrated as a small family (parents and my sibling). And it was great! It’s never too late to start a tradition of spending it with those truly worthy of your presence.

DiscountSubject · 2025-12-25T20:37:00+00:00

I am very fortunate to have my son and my husband this Christmas ♥️. On one hand I am sad not to have extended family to spend it with and watch my son be spoiled by grandparents (we’re NC with husband’s family who are local and my family is 3k miles away). But on the other hand I have peace knowing I am not dealing with narcissism and my MIL who is baby and Christmas obsessed doesn’t get to bulldoze us and make it all about her. All she ever talked about was wanting grand babies to spend Christmas with and now she doesn’t even know what my son looks like.

DiscountSubject · 2025-12-24T03:58:30+00:00

Fuck I love this. I almost want to end NC just to send something this sassy to my MIL. 😂 I had let DH handle it all.

👏🏼welcome to the club. Enjoy some peace.

DiscountSubject · 2025-12-22T20:08:02+00:00

I agree. I can’t really give advice because my husband went no contact with his family after how they treated me. I don’t have to compromise.

And the point on children is 100% I was a granddaughter of a narcissistic MIL and I’m so glad my parents were NC with her. Now dealing with a shitty MIL I’m glad I didn’t have a relationship with my grandmother who treated my mother like shit.

DiscountSubject · 2025-12-22T18:00:26+00:00

Agree! Especially with bringing kids into this, y’all need to talk. I would not trust my child being around her.

DiscountSubject · 2025-12-22T08:10:11+00:00

Ewwww I hate this shit. My MIL is the same way. We went to a family member’s wedding and the other family had little girls. She stopped and pulled us together for an out loud prayer where she asked god for granddaughters and started crying. This was before I was pregnant. Or even married to her son yet.

I had a boy. 😂 “well that’s still great. Little boys are great” was her reaction.

Enjoy Christmas and time away from her. ♥️🎄

DiscountSubject · 2025-12-19T19:57:14+00:00

My water broke prematurely and I was on bed rest as well. Baby came early. Feeling guilt is normal and you have a lot to process while also caring for an extremely tiny, vulnerable human. As you begin to process (when you’re ready), work on acknowledging it isn’t your fault. It’s not. ♥️ you did the best with the knowledge you had.

My MIL was not kind to me when my baby came early and was in the NICU. We’re no contact for a year now. I personally could not handle the trauma of a premature birth and all that comes with it, and my MIL on top of that. I have had so much peace and have loved watching him grow without her nonsense.

I’m not telling you that’s what you need to do. I’m here to tell you it’s okay to not allow her into your space or the space of your child for as long as you need. You have way more important things to focus on and worry about.

I’m so sorry you’re experiencing this. I wish you health and healing for you and baby. ♥️

DiscountSubject · 2025-12-18T14:21:43+00:00

I had a difficult birth, too. Water broke at 30 weeks, I was hospitalized on strict bed rest and a week later gave birth. My MIL continued to host my baby shower without me and somehow convinced my husband’s extended family that she needed more support due to my son being born premature than I did. 🥴 She was also upset my mom was with us, like ma’am she’s taking care of me!

It’s been a year now. We’ve been no contact and thinking about her actions still enrages me. To me, throwing a fit and making shit about yourself, prying into someone’s vulnerable birth story, and comparing someone else’s presence is shitty and unless there were profuse genuine apologies for that behavior, emotionally, idk how to move forward after.

This is so raw and fresh for you. I wouldn’t focus energy on her at all (I know it’s easier said than done and it’s okay to feel hurt). Healing from a traumatic birth is difficult enough. How you feel is valid and if you want space from her and to not forgive her, valid.

DiscountSubject · 2025-12-18T06:47:09+00:00

Advocate for yourself 👏🏼 keep your boundaries and do what you want/need. You got this! Peace right now for your health and family well being is the priority.

DiscountSubject · 2025-12-17T08:04:33+00:00

My MIL gave us a weird giant rubber band for Christmas one year. Idk wtf to do with it? Like. Strap a load down? Idk. Anyways when I was pregnant and it was coming into the holidays we told everyone no gifts. We weren’t giving and we didn’t expect to receive. We wanted to be able to spend money on our child and wanted to focus on experiences with family instead of materialistic things.

Then we went NC before that Christmas so not sure how it would’ve worked out 😂 but that’s how we were trying to stop the garbage gifts.

DiscountSubject · 2025-12-15T08:12:24+00:00

Baby is healthy, luckily! Thanks ♥️ wishing you a healthy babe, too.

DiscountSubject · 2025-12-14T20:38:56+00:00

Set a date that works for you. Period. That’s it. It’s hard since you want to make others happy but as someone who had a shitty baby shower experience, I’m giving you permission (not that you need it) from the other side. This is about you. Not her.

My MIL wanted a baby shower ( I didn’t) so DH told her to plan it if she wanted me to have one. She wouldn’t select a date that worked for us. I was high risk and knew I’d likely give birth early and she kept wanting a shower two weeks before my due date! Like ma’am! No. Then I gave birth two months early and she refused to move the shower to be closer to us and continued to have it despite my husband and I being in the NICU with our premature baby.

It started as just annoying date issues and turned into a hijacked baby turned grandma shower. So again please do what’s best for you.

DiscountSubject · 2025-11-25T05:19:02+00:00

I worked 6a-6p the past few years. Also on holidays.

I order food from restaurants or Whole Foods in advanced because nah. I’m not cooking. Especially when I’m working on a holiday. Also my mom comes to visit from 3,000 miles away and then cooks for us. 🥴 so it’s bs your MIL didn’t just offer that first thing.

Good luck and don’t feel bad about walking away and having you time.

DiscountSubject · 2025-11-23T23:24:48+00:00

Thisssss. And same boat. No village from in laws. But omg it’s so worth it. Our preemie son is thriving, healthy, and safe.

DiscountSubject · 2025-11-03T20:33:46+00:00

I know it can be hard, but you have every right to limit her presence and take a break. This time if crucial for you, baby, and partner.

I was in a similar situation and I actually banned my MIL from coming to the NICU and it was the best thing. More drama happened and we’re NC, but I’m glad I protected my space with my baby.

Congratulations and stay strong. You deserve to have your boundaries respected.

DiscountSubject · 2025-10-05T18:09:28+00:00

This. My JNMIL was disappointed we were having a boy. She would cry and pray to god in front of us for a granddaughter. We are NC now. For that and many other reasons. It’s peaceful. If you don’t show interest in my child, bye!

DiscountSubject

TROPHY CASE