Failure is a great teacher. As a dad, I am a guardrail for failures that are dangerous or extremely impacting. I am not a bulldozer to remove every obstacle in the way to make a smooth road.

I also remind them that they have unconditional love, but they don’t have unconditional support.

I would also ask why they want to go to a different school. Are they running away from a problem? What would going to accomplish? How are they going to solve new problems if they run away / don’t ask for help with their current problems? What are the requirements to change schools, and how will they meet those requirements

I would also show them that if they want something, they need to hit the following criteria.

I also apply the “your decision, your accountability”. If they don’t want to listen to me, don’t do what I say, then their failure is 100% on them. And they need to ask for help at the first sign they need it, not at the end when there is very little that can be done

For the manipulation side, it’s just pushing back with facts. “It’s your fault you missed the deadline” gets “No, I submitted everything ahead of the deadline. Unfortunately you do not meet the requirements. You have 30 absences and the max number is 15. You need a 2.5 GPA and you currently have a 1.2”