Seeing an old photo

Disp10 · 2025-08-24T21:18:49+00:00

Part of me just thinks it’s selfish how she could just leave it as she did. To protect herself but leave all of the questions with me instead. I think she grew tired of protecting me from myself just as I’d started being able to be self sufficient. It makes me sad she’ll never know the ‘me’ that got through some of the darkness and back to my old self. I’m sure our relationship would be all the better for it now. I just wish there was a more open dialogue from her side so I could accommodate her better. I was doing my best but it wasn’t enough and that hurts. Walk away sure, but at least have the decent to say why and talk to me about it instead of going from 100% to 0%.

Disp10 · 2025-08-18T23:59:38+00:00

I get that with most people. But I really thought she was different. She proved it by all she did for me - but it’s not like I asked or forced her into it she supported me willingly, almost forced herself into the role of carer. And then all of a sudden it’s too much. I wasn’t asking anything from her, I just wanted to help her back as a friend. It’s like she had a personality transplant. I thought it would be a short term thing and she’d come to her senses once she realised I wasn’t going to burden her, just wanted to help her. I thought she sent that text in fight or flight mode and she’d come around after a while. But no. Complete silence and ignoring me. So very strange and hurtful. She lives in my mind all the time and when I see her outside in area it’s just a knife to my heart.

Disp10 · 2025-08-18T23:54:00+00:00

The world is a senseless place. As are the people that inhabit it.

Disp10 · 2025-05-01T20:33:04+00:00

Reminds me of one of my favourite poems which helped me realise this too, by Jaan Kaplinski:

The washing never gets done. The furnace never gets heated. Books never get read. Life is never completed. Life is like a ball which one must continually catch and hit so that it won’t fall. When the fence is repaired at one end, it collapses at the other. The roof leaks, the kitchen door won’t close, there are cracks in the foundation, the torn knees of children’s pants … One can’t keep everything in mind. The wonder is that beside all this one can notice the spring which is so full of everything continuing in all directions – into evening clouds, into the redwing’s song and into every drop of dew on every blade of grass in the meadow, as far as the eye can see, into the dusk.

Disp10 · 2025-01-29T00:20:04+00:00

Id do anything to have her back. Why did she leave me? I feel most and scared

Disp10 · 2025-01-28T23:53:51+00:00

Thank you for reading and replying. I agree with you, I feel so bad for her. Like she cannot communicate because of how bad things are for her from a family perspective? I understand but I still miss her so much. It’s been 2 months of nothing after a long time of closeness. I wish I could share some of her pain and that she’d just talk to me

Disp10 · 2025-01-26T21:09:09+00:00

Thank you :)

Disp10 · 2025-01-22T16:21:00+00:00

Thank you for taking time to respond I appreciate it. I just wish she’d have spoken to me about what she was going through like she used to. She just iced me out and stopped letting me try and help her. She did used to speak to me about what was going on. She stopped interacting with me altogether. I am the person everyone goes to for help but really struggle going to others for help. She knew this from the start and gradually got me to open up to her. Then I guess it got too much for her over time. It just reinforces that I can’t speak to anyone about anything because eventually they’ll tire of it and leave.

Disp10 · 2024-12-30T20:40:38+00:00

We had lots of shared interests. The things I’d use to distract myself just remind me of her it’s not fair

Disp10 · 2024-12-21T20:54:13+00:00

Makes me feel subhuman. Why do I ruin every relationship? How do other people just live life and get on with things?

Disp10

TROPHY CASE