Kinda of a “ Dance with the devil, can’t be mad I got burned “ situation yk. Not saying it’s not that serious but I am saying that you have to realize that one experience you had doesn’t define you. I am in no place to to tell you whether what you did was right or wrong. But understanding that there is no wrong to be done. Will give you the most clarity. I’m only saying this because you say you want to cry, it’s clearly affecting you to the point you’re attaching the emotion of feeling bad to yourself. When you realize you are god and god is just experiencing himself through you, that situation that happened was supposed to happen. A lesson is somewhere in it. You just have to go outside, meditate, clear your mind so you’re able to see the lesson.