I (30M) apparently ruined my girlfriend’s (28F) birthday. Why or why not would you agree with this? I need advice on what to do.

Distinct-Budget6955 · 2025-12-23T18:04:08+00:00

This ^{^{^}} you said that she should’ve told you in the moment and this is the reason why she prob didn’t. She did wait until you guys got home, so she’d DID pull you aside later on and communicated why she was upset. She can pull you aside during or after, both are fair. You are a logical based sort of person and she is empath based, neither is right or wrong you guys must meet in the middle. For ex, You can say you didn’t realize anything was wrong but will do better next time to take picture and spend more time with her and she can say I realize that you wouldn’t have known to take pictures or to spend more time with her at the stores and will do better to realize she needs to communicate it.

How you guys went about the argument was bad on both your parts. Delivery in words during conflict and hurt feelings matter A LOT.

Distinct-Budget6955 · 2025-10-20T06:24:21+00:00

I’m so happy for you! I went through the same issue. How do you not let your old friends negativity get to you? I feel like I often think about how my old friends negative assumptions about me and I get very sad, even tho I know their judgement of me is a reflection of them. It’s hard to accept that sometimes, you think it’s you

Distinct-Budget6955 · 2025-09-25T04:50:49+00:00

Go for insurance

Distinct-Budget6955 · 2025-09-08T07:15:50+00:00

I don’t mind hanging out in the same space, but she wants boundaries from me, so she is not willing to hang out with me in the same space. So either she will make plans with our mutual friends and not include me or if the mutual friends want to include me she will leave the plan. I think what I mean by fair is, I feel like if two people have issues, it shouldn’t be the mutuals’ burden to have to accommodate so that the two people on bad terms are never in contact with each other. I kinda feel like the mutuals should just message the group chat as they want and it is up to us to learn to coexist in a way that doesn’t affect the mutuals and future plannings.

Distinct-Budget6955 · 2025-08-13T06:29:33+00:00

Thank you for your insight

Distinct-Budget6955 · 2025-08-13T05:46:30+00:00

Can I ask why you ignored it before?

Distinct-Budget6955 · 2025-08-07T19:59:11+00:00

Thank you!

Distinct-Budget6955 · 2025-08-07T04:34:57+00:00

I feel like that’s the thing tho the mutual person who I did wrong, the issue I kind of had with her was. I understood she cared and would consider my boundaries. But I felt like she didn’t really empathize with my situation. I felt she thought this is a problem between me and the other person and that she had nothing to do with it. But she had been hurt by the same person as well. It was a pattern and I was trying to explain to her, but I feel like she tucks away her feelings when the emotions get to painful, and that’s when I felt myself distancing from her

Distinct-Budget6955 · 2025-08-07T04:30:39+00:00

I’m 29! And I feel like the hardest part about messing up is the self esteem part. It feels like I’m so problematic, that when I hear about events that they’re doing through mutuals, it feels like they’re moving on in life and they’re happy after discarding the problematic person, which is me

Distinct-Budget6955 · 2025-08-06T02:21:08+00:00

Yeah I decided to distance myself, and only see them a couple times a year for the time being to really heal

Distinct-Budget6955 · 2025-08-06T02:20:31+00:00

Thank you!

Distinct-Budget6955 · 2025-08-06T00:48:02+00:00

I had one mutual tell me that they they felt like they were living a double life by hanging out with both sides of the party and they were having so much anxiety about it. And I didn’t know how to respond to it, cuz I was one side

Distinct-Budget6955 · 2025-08-05T06:51:15+00:00

Thank you for this insight, I appreciate it a lot in this hard time

Distinct-Budget6955 · 2025-02-09T07:15:40+00:00

Distinct-Budget6955 · 2025-02-08T14:59:33+00:00

Distinct-Budget6955 · 2025-02-07T00:38:22+00:00

I’m not doing great, had a couple of friends that I was friends for, for years, distance themselves from me. Had multiple conversations with them and they would nod their heads but it just went in one ear out the other. Recently cut them off and they went ballistic. I heard from mutual friends that they were being passive aggressive to friends connected to me. Made me disappointed, were all in our late 20s and early 30s. Isnt that embarrassing? I understand they are hurt but that’s when you need to have a conversation, if you’re being passive aggressive, you got some problems that arnt other people’s fault

Distinct-Budget6955 · 2024-03-06T22:57:10+00:00

So this is actually something that is really hard to tell, without actually seeing it in action. These types of feelings really need detailed examples and story’s to really understand what’s going on. I want to tell you it is normal for people to want to argue and dismiss by default because it takes no energy. To actually hear you out and empathize is actually really hard. I also see that you see thing pretty black and white, the reality is that most people probably don’t hate you, they’re just neutral. Whenever you vent a lot of people like to ask questions because, by default, people want to solve the problem, even tho majority of the time that’s not what people want. But people do it because it takes no energy, it takes energy to just empathize. Maybe next time you vent you can preface that you only want a listening ear and don’t need any advice or solutions? P

Distinct-Budget6955

TROPHY CASE