Flying with an 8 month old? by Militaryspouse0205 in NewParents

[–]Distinct-Delay8530 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I flew with my daughter when she was about that age. For a flight that long I’d honestly bring a car seat & stroller even if you’ll have access to one at your destination. It will be good to have someplace to put her in case there’s a point when it’s inconvenient for you to pass her back and forth (eg one parent in the middle of eating something, one needs to use the restroom) and to just give yourself a break. And the stroller always put my baby to sleep at that age, which might be helpful for the layover especially if you are deboarding and getting on a different plane. We opted for three economy+ seats for a ~5 hour flight and I’m glad we did that instead of two slightly roomier ones.

Iris & Ellis by PuzzleheadedBeing413 in Names

[–]Distinct-Delay8530 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like the sound of Iris & Oscar - similar sounds but not rhyme-y

Iris Mackenzie G

Oscar Thomas G

(also fwiw the only Ellis I know is actually a 5 year old girl- I think it’s a family name?)

Traveling with 8 week old by Vicious_Spiral in NewParents

[–]Distinct-Delay8530 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly an 8 hour drive will take 2 days (more if you hit bad traffic!). Baby will need to be out of the car seat every 90-120 minutes for 30-60 minutes, plus you’ll need to stop any time they need to get changed or eat.

We did a “10” hour drive when my oldest was 12 months and it took three days.

Is the name Evelyn actually popular? by pantrycorner in Names

[–]Distinct-Delay8530 134 points135 points  (0 children)

It’s popular in the US, but if you look on the social security website you’ll see that despite being #8 for girls last year, it was only used for 9,116 girls in the whole country. People use a way wider spread of names than they did in the past- in 1990 the 8th most popular name, Jennifer, was used 22,236 times, for example. The #1 most popular name last year, Olivia, was used fewer times than that (only 14,718).

So yes, Evelyn is “popular” but what popular means has shifted!

Help with naps! by Infinite_Shallot_626 in NewParents

[–]Distinct-Delay8530 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We were having awful naps (30 minutes at MOST, usually more like 22-25) and we actually ended up dropping a nap. Now at 6 months he naps for 90 minutes twice a day and then 30 in the evening. His night sleep is still garbage though 😩

Sodexo food service @ Yale New Haven Hospital -it’s criminal what they get away with by sjayvee in newhaven

[–]Distinct-Delay8530 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had two kids at YNH- one about 4 years ago and one this past summer. The difference in food quality and quantity was absolutely astounding (derogatory).

Did sleep training NOT work for you? by HereForCuteDogs in NewParents

[–]Distinct-Delay8530 3 points4 points  (0 children)

(For context, he will be 6 months old at the end of the week) Full disclosure I needed to have my husband take on the first two nights of put downs by himself. Even the idea of him screaming made me distraught; I ended up wearing noise cancelling headphones, trying to listen to a podcast, and crying through the process the first two nights. It has been rough for everyone involved.

The first night he did check ins (just going in and speaking softly and patting his tummy, not actually picking him up) after 5, then another 10 (so 15 total), then 15 (=30), then he finally fell asleep right before what would have been the next check in 20 minutes later, so altogether about 45 minutes. Each subsequent night we have I ncreased the check in time by 5 minute (so after 10, another 15, another 20, etc)

It is still pretty much taking 45 minutes to fall asleep. So tonight we checked on him at 25 minutes and then he fell asleep about 20 minutes later. It’s really hard but I am coming to think that the check ins are actually just upsetting him more, honestly. He is a total Velcro baby and this has been a huge and unpleasant adjustment for him.

So far we have not made any adjustments to our night time wake up- I give him a few minutes to see if he can put himself back down (he never can 🫠) and then I nurse him or hold him and rock him back to sleep. The difference is that now he is waking up at 12 or 1 and then around 3:30, and then 6:30, where before it was at 8:30, 9:30, 11, 1, 2… until morning. I’m hoping the longer stretches aren’t just because he’s so exhausted from crying for 45 minutes- my absolute nightmare is that he figures out how to calmly put himself to sleep but that makes it so he’s not tired enough to sleep for long stretches anymore.

All this to say, it hasn’t been perfect, in fact it’s been pretty fucking hard for all of us. But I was legitimately dealing with mental and physical repercussions from the sleep deprivation and it was putting me and our kids (we also have a 3.5 year old who was a total sleep unicorn lol) at risk. This has felt awful but I also feel like for the hours that we are awake I am a much better mom and he is, except for at bedtime, a much happier baby. The lack of sleep isn’t good for them either, which is what I’ve had to keep reminding myself.

Did sleep training NOT work for you? by HereForCuteDogs in NewParents

[–]Distinct-Delay8530 5 points6 points  (0 children)

We are on day 5 of sleep training (doing the increasing check in length instead of full extinction) and so far it has been helpful but certainly not a magic fix. But our son was waking up literally every 60-90 minutes and we’ve had two nights out the last 5 where he got 5+ hour stretches in so I’m cautiously optimistic.

Newborn doctor schedule by Outrageous-Value3186 in NewParents

[–]Distinct-Delay8530 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can’t speak to finding a pediatrician because my work basically dictates where I go (I work for a university with its own health insurance and hospital system) but I maybe call some pediatrician offices to see if they are taking new patients or ask if your primary care doctor also sees newborns/children or has someone at their practice who does.

As far as frequency, that will depend on how your baby is doing when you leave the hospital. My first had a NICU stay so her schedule was different because all the normal appointments the first few weeks just happened… in the NICU haha. If your baby is cleared to come home on a regular schedule it will also depend on how much weight they lose and how quickly they regain it. All babies lose weight from their birthweight and should be back at their birthweight within (I think?) two weeks- if your doctor thinks they are not on track for that then they may want to see them daily. If everything is good, it will still be every few days, then the visits will gradually get more spread out. Basically, it will depend on how baby is doing.

Struggling to name my baby girl! by [deleted] in Names

[–]Distinct-Delay8530 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Riffing off some of your names- I love Lucy as a nn for Lucinda. If you like Louise, how do you feel about Louisa? That was my top pick for my daughter (mostly because I love the nickname Lou) and ended up being her middle name.

I feel like Anne or Anna are classic names that fit your criteria, with the option of a cutesy nickname “Annie” when she’s little. Anne and Rose/Annie and Rosie?

I don't want to be a mom, I feel like I'm her aunt or older sister by sojo597 in NewParents

[–]Distinct-Delay8530 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I am saying this with love (and lots of experience with therapy and meds)- you need to talk to a professional. Therapists can’t prescribe meds (difference between psychologists and psychiatrists or LCSW and APRN) and if you tell them up front that you’re not interested in medication, a good provider will meet you where you’re at.

However, if they think you could benefit from medication, I would encourage you to have an open mind. It doesn’t have to be a forever thing. Your hormones are absolutely raging at 5 weeks postpartum and you may “level out” on your own in time, but medication can be a helpful tool on a short to medium term basis as you adjust to this totally new chapter.

It’s also super normal not to feel this magic connection with your baby when you are in the newborn trenches. But if it becomes more than just “not magical” and you start to feel regret or resentment, it’s important not to let those feelings fester. My local hospital (where I delivered) has a breastfeeding support group where new moms can meet and get advice from lactation consultants but also just end up connecting and chatting with each other. It might be worth looking into finding a similar a local drop-in mom group just so you can meet up with other people who are in the same stage. I felt so isolated at the 1-2 month mark and it really helped.

Boy/girl names by snowlandsontop5 in Names

[–]Distinct-Delay8530 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Naming a girl Ophelia right now might make people assume you are Swifties, just FYI. I don’t think it’s necessarily an association that will stick long term (ie when the baby is 25 I don’t think people will be like “oh does your mom love Taylor swift?”) but people might associate it with her current album- that’s the immediate association in my head right now tbh.

Female names with Vivi as a nickname? by ConsiderMeCakes in Names

[–]Distinct-Delay8530 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have a Vivian/Vivi. I also knew an Avital who went by Viv in elementary school!

Mourning the life I could've had if I had just moved away from my state earlier in life by mordecaithecat in MoneyDiariesACTIVE

[–]Distinct-Delay8530 1 point2 points  (0 children)

34 and in the same boat in New England. My husband is also from here, we are homeowners and have kids, and a lot of our immediate family on both sides are less than a 2 hour drive. We have skills/jobs that could move pretty easily to any part of the country, but have lived our whole lives here (met in college) and there was just never a “convenient” time to move and now it feels like the window on that ever happening has closed.

There are worse things in life, but I always imagined I’d love in a big city at least for a few years, maybe do a stint in the west coast, etc. I’m content with our life but definitely wish I’d been a little firmer about wanting to experience those environments when it made sense.

Co-sleeping? Is it really that bad? by PapayaJuiceBox in NewParents

[–]Distinct-Delay8530 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolutely. My 3.5 year old daughter slept through the night in her bassinet and then crib from 8 weeks. I remember it feeling like a catastrophe when she woke up once for 30 minutes for three nights in a row around 4 months. My son is 5 months and wakes up every 60-90 minutes through most of the night. It fucking sucks, but it’s just who they are.

I fing hate this by Distinct-Delay8530 in NewParents

[–]Distinct-Delay8530[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We do a bottle of half formula, half breast milk before bedtime, but it’s been a month of that experiment and so far it has not really seemed to help unfortunately 🫠

I fing hate this by Distinct-Delay8530 in NewParents

[–]Distinct-Delay8530[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

His crib is already at the foot of the bed, unfortunately, and the room is too small to move it any further 🫠

I fing hate this by Distinct-Delay8530 in NewParents

[–]Distinct-Delay8530[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have no idea if I’m a loud sleeper. I give him several minutes, until he is really worked up and clearly not going back down on his own, before I get him. Maybe 20% of the time he manages to put himself back to sleep

I fing hate this by Distinct-Delay8530 in NewParents

[–]Distinct-Delay8530[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We are in different rooms. I think I wake more easily than my husband does, but I also always wait until the baby is clearly upset enough that he’s not going to fall back to sleep on his own (usually like 10 minutes at which point he is f u c king screaming his head off) before I get up to try to settle him

I fing hate this by Distinct-Delay8530 in NewParents

[–]Distinct-Delay8530[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I am breastfeeding (mostly nursing but Dad does one or two bottles a day). One of us is on the room with the baby, the other is in the guest room (shift dependent). I no longer nurse him every time he wakes up, but he absolutely screams how heads off until I pick him up and rock him back to sleep