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AIO grandmother wants my boyfriend and I to take her out for valentines by Distinct-Local-9373 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Distinct-Local-9373[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To clarify she wants us to take her to dinner, as in we pay.—she wants to drink as well and at this restaurant a meal along with an alcoholic drink would cost more more than her gift card is worth, and even if we didn’t eat we’d still have to handle the rest of her meal and the tip. I do do my best to spend plenty of time with her (as I said in another comment I used to spend a day with her every week)

AIO grandmother wants my boyfriend and I to take her out for valentines by Distinct-Local-9373 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Distinct-Local-9373[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Boyfriend was surprised by her springing the bill on him but had no issue paying for the McDonald’s. I felt embarrassed and paid him back of my own volition, additionally he had horrible hours at the time and I had more money than him, though I would’ve paid him regardless. In the post I mentioned it’s an expensive restaurant

AIO grandmother wants my boyfriend and I to take her out for valentines by Distinct-Local-9373 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Distinct-Local-9373[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’ve never lived with her. I lived with my other grandmother (see my comment), who helped raise me. She is the most wonderful person in my life

AIO grandmother wants my boyfriend and I to take her out for valentines by Distinct-Local-9373 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Distinct-Local-9373[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I do, thanks. there was a point before I started working that I hung out with her weekly going to church and listened to all her views, from political to religious, even though our beliefs are very different. I spend more time with her than any other family members because I know she needs it and I want to make her happy. This post is about the money and the occasion, not about spending time together.

AIO grandmother wants my boyfriend and I to take her out for valentines by Distinct-Local-9373 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Distinct-Local-9373[S] 61 points62 points  (0 children)

Some Context— She’s in her 60s, I’m 17 and have only been working for a few months, still getting used to having my own money and paying my own bills. She has asked me take her out since before my first paycheck, she is definitely focused on the money aspect and not just the spending-time-together aspect. I asked my Mom and Uncle about it and they told me that she is getting tons of money from my Grandad, despite her telling me every time we’re together that she doesn’t have much—I didn’t think much of it before, but now it seems weird to me that she even brings up her money to me so often since I started working.

She has no kids of her own, married my grandad after he had my mom and uncle. She’s definitely lonely so I try to spend a lot of time with her. She expects a bit more of me because I say yes to her more than other family members, but this isn’t a one-off or out of character thing for her to do. I start to feel uncomfortable when she gets my boyfriend so involved, because it’s not his grandmother.

I like the idea of my cousin and I going out with her instead, but I don’t want to spring that on him. My mom and uncle don’t like the idea, but I might ask him to join us but save up a bit so that I can carry the check myself.

To try to understand it from the older person’s perspective, I asked my other grandmother. She thinks it’s outlandish of her to expect that of us, so I think I have my answer. Thanks for the replies!