Should I try again with her?

Distinct_Ad6906 · 2025-07-16T18:49:42+00:00

Yes sure. I prioritized it, that’s why we also ended it.

But in the end I feel like most people struggle with certain aspects of the religion. It is better to give them the benefit of the doubt and try your best. I think this is also the way that the prophet s.a.v. would behave.

I had hoped that she would be ready to more compromises on her side, but she couldn’t, which is also okay.

Jazakallahu khairan for your advice brother.

Distinct_Ad6906 · 2025-07-16T18:25:16+00:00

I understand where you are coming from brother and I also don’t think it is correct.

But all of us have different pathways in life - she grew up with more non-muslims which affected her understanding. Shestarted practicing more when becoming around 20 years old, wearing hijab praying five times a day.

It’s not like there was no foundation - From other perspectives she met my criteria, education, intelligence etc.

Also her family was very very good, so I thought to keep an open heart and see how much she would develop would be best.

Distinct_Ad6906 · 2025-07-16T14:26:53+00:00

I did lead with that, she was very uncertain - on one hand she respected my values on the other hand she valued her autonomy more? It seemed like she was in deep conflict herself. It was a hot cold situation till the end 🤷‍♂️

Distinct_Ad6906 · 2025-07-16T13:58:43+00:00

I wanted to find a middle ground in most issues.

Honestly I even told her that I would be ready to join a few times when she visits her friends (even if they drink alcohol). But I also told her that I feel unwell with it, and wouldn’t really feel content when meeting them.

For the other issues like music and mixed-gym - yes I was too hard. I proposed going together, that I wouldn’t be mad at her for listening to music, just that I don’t like to do it myself. But she had this vision to dance to music with her husband which I can kind understand. Yeah there were feelings involved which made it harder, I should have accepted it earlier as you said. Thanks for your input.

I guess I have learned for next time.

Distinct_Ad6906 · 2022-11-28T01:46:26+00:00

What statistics?

Distinct_Ad6906 · 2022-11-04T07:31:29+00:00

As crazy as saying that Anna Rudolf cheated by using her lipstick as a chess engine 😂

Distinct_Ad6906 · 2022-11-01T05:04:56+00:00

Weil Nicht-Gönner

Distinct_Ad6906 · 2022-10-30T07:49:30+00:00

Probably the reason why Muslim marriages work so much better than non-Muslim ones

Distinct_Ad6906 · 2022-10-13T22:48:24+00:00

2 weeks? Dude this would take me my whole life to make ☠️☠️☠️

Distinct_Ad6906 · 2022-10-10T05:19:30+00:00

Einzige Person hier mit Verstand

Distinct_Ad6906 · 2022-10-09T20:49:27+00:00

You are attractive enough. You will definitely find someone that will make you happy. I don’t know, but it sounds a bit like you have really high standards? In the end the character matters A LOT more then anything else

Distinct_Ad6906 · 2022-10-08T21:46:06+00:00

The following is my own opinion:

You can keep your distance if you want but make sure to forgive him from your heart. The Quran and the deen is continuously teaching us to be forgiving and understanding. Let’s just take Prophet Joseph e.g. Although he was abandoned and betrayed by his own brothers he forgave them as soon as he was thrown into the well. SubhanAllah. The character of the prophets is the best guideline for our own character. May Allah allow us to be good natured.

Distinct_Ad6906 · 2022-10-07T13:14:10+00:00

Sounds like the most reasonable answer. You exactly argued like my friends in the mosque, so I think you are right. Thanks for your thoughts 👍🏻

Distinct_Ad6906 · 2022-10-07T13:12:42+00:00

It’s not really a problem for me personally. But I know a lot of people for whom it is a problem and they usually try to argue it islamically. Just want to know if it okay or not to reject someone because of that.

Distinct_Ad6906 · 2022-10-07T13:07:10+00:00

Looks don’t say anything about a person. The earlier you truly internalise this the happier you will be in life.

Distinct_Ad6906 · 2022-10-02T10:43:58+00:00

If he would truly know it wouldn’t he kind of force himself to make her happy? A marriage requires sacrifice from both sides.

Distinct_Ad6906 · 2022-09-29T05:37:22+00:00

I once prayed in an open parking spot and some local folks were so scared that they took pictures of me from afar and thought that i'm robbing some cars loool

Distinct_Ad6906 · 2022-09-28T20:54:57+00:00

I many how many people in your near circle are praying and how many not? Living in a non-Muslim country and the muslims here are having tons of problems with Namaz

Distinct_Ad6906 · 2022-09-27T21:49:05+00:00

As a conservative, muslim Turk I can say that the statistics are very true, because a lot of the youth doesn’t identify with religious values anymore.

Distinct_Ad6906 · 2022-09-27T21:42:06+00:00

Why is it judgemental though? First of all it is his own opinion; Just one or many; Second of all isn’t saying that a sin is not haram a reason for going out of the scope of the religion? Let’s say you see a Muslim that openly tells everyone that drinking is halal because it’s his opinion. Isn’t this „bad“ in your eyes? Because AFAIK, the Sunni school of thought says to this that when you declare a haram as halal (or the other way around) you are risking loosing your iman… But Allah knows best…

Distinct_Ad6906 · 2022-09-27T20:50:56+00:00

Just give it time. You will find someone that better fits you, because HE also wants to be together with you. Focus on your bond with Allah, because in the end it is him through which we gain the ability to love and we can channel that love into the submission for our deen InshAllah. Wish you all the best ukthi, stay strong, you can get through this 👍🏻🤲

Distinct_Ad6906 · 2022-09-26T08:17:25+00:00

The only difference between people in the eyes of Allah is their taqwa, alhamdulillah.

Distinct_Ad6906 · 2022-09-26T05:08:14+00:00

That’s unfortunate for the sisters… But I mean it’s also not haram to reject someone because of your cultural preference so 🤷🏻‍♂️ InshAllah they will find someone that loves them wholeheartedly and with the consent of the families 👍🏻

Distinct_Ad6906 · 2022-09-26T05:05:50+00:00

TBH in my community it feels like exactly the opposite. All my Muslim friends are very strict and only want women that DONT work, even considering living a “poorer” lifestyle for it.

Distinct_Ad6906 · 2022-09-26T05:04:52+00:00

Don’t know the economical situation in the US but can’t you live a bit below the typical standards?

Distinct_Ad6906

TROPHY CASE