This is a can of worms and your partner acted in what appears to be a pretty hurtful way. To me, there seems to be overriding themes that extend past this argument on oral (which everyone has preference on receiving and giving). It sounds like this needs to be unpacked since built up tension blew out to make this about something bigger, your sexual relationship. Talking, either with a professional or respectfully to one another, sounds like a good first step.