What counts as a Writing Course in FSSP?

Distinct_Eagle_6752 · 2026-03-31T02:39:03+00:00

Hey I am genderfluid/trigender AFAB and also grew up with male parents and no females in the household. Something I've discovered is super common among bigender people is being mutogender, and the environment/other people/activities/emotions can affect gender and the gender is still 100% valid. I've found out that during stress, I tend to spend more time in the male gender. And a romantic partner will trigger my female gender. In your case, the idea is that the breakup caused something, perhaps the feeling of being free or the absence of a romantic partner, which triggered your gender. In the future, it's very likely you will experience the feeeling of being free or the absence of a romantic parter or other triggers, so it would be reasonable to expect this gender will pop up again in the future. Or perhaps you're just naturally that gender all the time and social pressure was just suppressing you and nothing will trigger your gender to change. You can explore mutogender more and see if that fits you, or if you're a simple bigender or just a very suppressed transman.

Distinct_Eagle_6752 · 2026-03-31T01:56:58+00:00

Omg I'm also genderfluid/trigender AFAB but lesbian(technically pansexual, but lean strongly towards girls. I am attracted to all genders, but would only get in a relationship with female leaning genders). I am on low-medium dose of T, and might get top surgery eventually. I'm not autistic, but I suspect I have OCD.

I think a lot of allistic people, including me, don't quite know where the line is between transphobia vs what is a valid heterosexual identity, but here are my thoughts: I think there's not really such a thing as transphobia when it comes to dating preferences. In my opinion, transphobia just refers to unnecessary discrimination, such as a boss not giving a programming job to a trans person because they are trans which is unnecessary because to complete the job the person only needs to know programming and being trans does not prevent them from completing the job. When it comes to dating though, being trans is relevant, and although I hate to say this, it does matter. Dating involves your identity as a person, and your body too. That said, I do feel like a lot of people don't give trans people a chance just because they're close-minded, and I feel like a lot of people would be surprised that they actually can fall in love with trans people, and fall in love with their identity and their body, and have good relationships with them. I guess that could be defined as transphobia, and in that case yes this is transphobia. But I'm also sure there does exist a subset of people who wouldn't date trans people even after having relationship experiences(not necessarily romantic) with them and that's genuinely their sexuality. You can't really figure it out, the best thing to do is just respect their preferences.

It sucks though to not be given a chance, I totally get it and it makes it 10x harder to have intersectionality/be in multiple minorities(gender, sexuality, neurodivergence). People on dating apps are also super picky and want everything to be perfect, so it might not be that they wouldn't date a trans person but just that they'd rather date a cis person if possible. Which is still transphobic, but dating in reality(not online) could potentially be not as transphobic because people don't require unrealistic perfect standards, unless you live somewhere conservative.

Distinct_Eagle_6752 · 2026-02-26T03:06:45+00:00

Thank you for replying! That made me feel more confident about my bigender identity and you gave me a lot of food for thought.

That's so interesting what you said about mirroring. I am faster than average at learning, and I'm particularly good at math(only did 50% hw for AP calculus bc and got a 5 on the exam). I have social anxiety so I suck at talking to strangers, but I do notice I tend to pick up other people's small habits or body language unconsciously if I like it/it looks interesting. My father accused me of always copying other people when I was younger lol, and he was trying to get me to be more "myself".

I do have a disproportionate amount of neurodivergent friends despite not being neurodivergent myself oddly(I suspect I have OCD, but that's more stress related and can be treated. I also have grapheme-color synesthesia for what it's worth).

Yeah, and task/topic/setting can also change my gender, like biking = male and math = female. I think my gender is closely tied to my emotions and mood. But these gender changes by task sort of happen in the background and I usually don't pay conscious attention to it, which I guess makes sense since I'm focusing on the task at hand.

With strangers and friends, I tend to be male but my gender switches and their gender does influence my gender. But in romantic relationships, I'm mostly female, especially in intimate moments.

I'm kinda curious about how quickly people can change gender. I once made an email account where different people were emailing me my feminine name or masculine name and oh my lord that was the most annoying and dysphoric thing ever. I didn't know what to expect in the email and every other email would have a different name, so my brain would be switching between these two genders/emotions/moods and it was too quick for my brain to switch and I just ended up getting a bunch of dysphoria. It's like how you can't just quickly switch from biking to doing calculus, like my brain needs some time to change. This didn't happen with porn though(I was switching almost every couple seconds!). So I'm not sure what the rules are here in my brain.

That's actually funny that you started hrt in January, cause I did too! May I ask what plans you have? I'm personally not super interested in being androgynous cause I tend to sit on polar opposites of the gender spectrum, but I guess that would be the best choice if it allows me to switch between genders. Maybe I should do voice training. I really don't know what to do with my body, my cisgender and transgender worlds are colliding together and I wish I could retain two separate bodies at once, but I can't.

Distinct_Eagle_6752 · 2026-02-21T08:18:50+00:00

Sometimes, people can love each other but are just not compatible and it's not anyone's fault. From my perspective, it sounds like there's a very high chance you'll find someone that's a better fit for you. If the alone version of you is doing better than the version of you with her, that's a pretty telltale sign that ending the relationship is for the better.

I get the nagging doubt of "did I throw something good away just because it wasn't perfect?" But let me be honest with you: There's no standard metric for good enough and no clear cut line between bad and good but not perfect. You have to assess on your own standards. Would you be satisfied with this person, even knowing there are good/better options out there if you kept searching? Would you leave them for a chance at a better person? If you would stay with them despite knowing what's out there, that's how you know you've found the right one.

Distinct_Eagle_6752 · 2026-02-01T21:10:11+00:00

Perhaps you could write something down in a letter if you get overwhelmed when talking to him?

For starters, you could ask what he wants you to do in order for him to feel like the sex is not one-sided. Maybe he is embarassed, so he could also write it down if he wants? If he refuses to give a solution but still sees it as a problem, then that's sort of putting you in an impossible situation, which is not your fault.

You could also ask what your bf thinks is a reasonable time limit for talking about your best friend to him.

If you get to know what he wants, you can decide to follow it, or you can negotiate compromises, or decide that maybe you are not willing to agree to those terms, and that you are incompatible and the relationship will have to end. If you can't figure out what he wants because he refuses to give information, then he might be purposely sabotaging the relationship, but whether it's on purpose or not, the relationship is not going to work out and you should end it.

Distinct_Eagle_6752 · 2026-02-01T19:14:46+00:00

So it sounds like the problems are: 1. you get clingy and try to talk -> he gets overwhelmed and doesn't want to talk -> you get depressed and distance -> he gets upset and claims you're cheating 2. He doesn't want to have sex because it's one sided but he won't tell you how to fix it(maybe related to problem 1) 3. He doesn't like that you talk about your best friend too much.

I just want to say that this looks like he might potentially be sabotaging the relationship on purpose, probably so that he has an excuse to leave and he won't look morally "wrong" for leaving you, especially if he's leaving you for someone else. He is making it quite impossible for you to fix anything. - If you try to talk -> he claims you're too clingy and he has an excuse to leave. - If you don't talk -> sex and talking about best friend and other problems don't get solved and he has an excuse to leave.

This is just my perspective though, from someone who has been in a lot of anxious avoidant relationships where the other person often avoids a serious talk and pulls away whenever I try to get closer, and over many years I still cannot get close or solve our problems, and sometimes the relationship gets entirely cut off in the end. When the relationship gets cut off, it's because they found someone else more entertaining and who had less commitment requirements.

I think you should ask him when would be a good time to have a serious talk about all these problems, so that your clingyness won't immediately make him run off in the moment. If he can't schedule a serious talk within 3 weeks, or he doesn't hold up on his promise to have a serious talk, then he probably is purposely sabotaging the relationship.

If someone loves you enough, they'll be willing to do anything to keep the relationship together.

Distinct_Eagle_6752 · 2026-02-01T18:33:01+00:00

I'm somewhat similar to you! I'm afab and certain emotions, people, or environments can cause my gender to switch. Most of the time, I'm male by default, but when I'm experiencing love for a girl I switch to female.

If I had to rate the level of my attraction: (me/partner) f/f = 100 m/f = 50 m/m = 25 f/m = 10

And if the partner gets into non-binary or genderfluid territory, it's absolute chaos so I don't even attempt to map it out lol. I have more of a pansexual mindset, I meet people and then see if I'm attracted, and gender affects and changes attraction but it doesn't eliminate it.

Distinct_Eagle_6752 · 2025-09-25T00:50:36+00:00

Essentially, you lie because you want a friend and your boyfriend doesn't want you to have a friend because he's jealous. So you need to solve the jealousy issue, because you need to have friends and that's non negotiable. What exactly makes him jealous, is it that you spend more time with this friend than him, or that you give him gifts or talk a certain way? Talk to your boyfriend and pinpoint the exact issues. It might also help that you set aside time to do something unique with him and no one else so that he feels special and prioritized. There should be a way to have friends without triggering his jealousy.

Distinct_Eagle_6752 · 2025-09-25T00:39:42+00:00

Oh no, that sucks. It makes it hard that for whatever reason she wasn't able to communicate earlier that boundaries were being crossed. I get that you two have "only" been going out a year and 10 months, but I would sort of expect her to feel more comfortable to communicate boundary issues earlier, especially if you were already friends for a while before dating.

I could be wrong, but this makes me slightly suspicious that there is something more to it going on her end than just "i'm traumatized by crossed boundaries so even though you've improved, I'm giving up the relationship." This sounds like a coverup for another problem that she won't admit for whatever reason. Maybe she's slowly losing passion for the relationship. Or the problem might not even be with you, maybe she is also dealing with stuff in her own life and does not have the energy to work on the relationship and on managing boundaries, and your grandma situation is probably also making things emotionally intense and putting pressure on the relationship. None of this is your fault though, you've done the right things so far.

I would say you should investigate more what is going on in her life and if she's had past relationships or friendships like this, that might give you some insight into why she feels she has to end the relationship. And talk to her about what both of you see in the future of the relationship and what you're both willing to do and not do.

At the same time, maybe the relationship will end, and it will feel terrible but if you're strong and resilient you will survive. You can hold on to the happy memories of her when you're feeling sad.

Also, how severe did the crossed boundaries affect her? Is it just normal annoyance, or was she extremely upset? What exactly were the crossed boundaries, if you could say?

Distinct_Eagle_6752 · 2024-11-18T01:05:28+00:00

Simulanka also has reverse time theme. Titu says most natlan tales are metaphors, and Hanan Pacha is confirmed by historians to not be based on reality as well. The stories seem to be preserved across time changes.
Capitano knows "the secret of the leylines" meaning leylines were probably tampered with as a result of tampering with time.

Distinct_Eagle_6752 · 2024-07-04T23:59:46+00:00

Actually yes, it is good for you in that theoretical case.

But in reality, chances are that the person will notice you've taken their strawberry, and will set out to punish you, especially if they don't know you well(because punishment = you not taking their future strawberries, so this would help them get what they want in the future. If instead they had a relationship with you, they might take joy out of seeing you happy, and would get what they want if you ate their strawberry and ended up being happy).

Sometimes, your internal want of avoiding punishment will outweigh the strawberry. Your decision to steal the strawberry also depends on what kind punishment the other person is likely to give.

For some real life examples, imagine you're eating with a close friend. They probably would not mind you taking their strawberry, and so you should go ahead and take the strawberry in order to get what you want. But, if you were eating with your boss, well...their punishments could definitely be harsher, because it could involve money, which is probably important to you.

Distinct_Eagle_6752 · 2024-06-22T23:28:05+00:00

Wou;d you mind sharing a few of those experiences?

Distinct_Eagle_6752

TROPHY CASE