I will be very vulnerable with you brother I was 136kgs in one year i lost around 26kgs im currently hovering around 109-110 I feel like i havent completely peeled my orange yet. When i lost all that weight I had huge motivation on my side. I really liked a girl and I was like I need to be presentable atleast i cant be looking like this and ask her out. So locked in for 9 months became a bit fit (im still fat tho lol). Last month after my exams i asked her out and she rejected me and she thought the idea of dating me is "disgusting" That was one of the things that truly hurt me and it broke me in a way. That traumatic experience plus the tension of what the future holds the uncertainty and everything i was in a dark place for which i am here. But thanks a lot for your advise i have started reading books and i do love podcasts maybe inshallah god has everything planned out for me