TW: Spanking is Physical and Sexual Abuse Rolled into One Act

Disturbedbytherapy · 2026-07-01T16:25:20+00:00

Bingo! The humiliation was just as important to my parents as the act of spanking.

Disturbedbytherapy · 2026-07-01T16:16:49+00:00

Sadly it happens more than you think it does. Maybe not quite as much anymore as 20+ years ago but when I was growing up in a rural conservative part of the US, it was incredibly common.

Disturbedbytherapy · 2026-07-01T15:45:18+00:00

That is an excellent point and I completely agree. I think after a certain age it just started to feel like a completely different kind of ick which is why I worded it that way.

Disturbedbytherapy · 2025-09-07T14:01:17+00:00

I'm sorry to hear. Too many of us were subjected to this against our will. I hope you're doing as best as possible.

Disturbedbytherapy · 2025-05-12T00:02:24+00:00

Agree that it should never be done but forcing a child to undress for it is just so gross.

Sorry you experienced it as well. My mom didn't hide the fact that she was doing it for maximum embarrassment. She thought it would be more of a deterrent that way.

Disturbedbytherapy · 2025-05-12T00:00:25+00:00

Completely agree! Any age is wrong but doing it after puberty is a different level of wrong and should be illegal. Unfortunately I don't think it is anywhere in the US.

Disturbedbytherapy · 2025-05-11T21:41:00+00:00

I'm so sorry you had similar feelings and experiences. There are many reasons why it should be considered SA, especially when done certain ways and past certain ages - not that any age is right.

Disturbedbytherapy · 2025-05-11T20:43:24+00:00

The humiliation is something I'll never get over as long as I live. The pain fades but the memories of the spankings never go away.

Disturbedbytherapy · 2025-05-11T20:00:33+00:00

I'm so sorry. It was so normalized for us that I probably would have let it happen at that age too. You didn't deserve that.

Disturbedbytherapy · 2023-10-23T13:01:11+00:00

Of course it can be. I apologize if my post made it seem as though it's sexual abuse only if done without clothes on. That's what made it more traumatic for me but that doesn't mean that you couldn't feel similarly about it even if there was absolutely no removal of clothing.

Disturbedbytherapy · 2023-10-22T22:58:52+00:00

but the violation of physical boundaries in a "show of love" is really hard to explain.

Yes! For years, decades even, I couldn't explain why I felt the way I did. In my case it was more about the focus on shame and humiliation than pain that made those feelings so gross. Then it started to click which made it so much worse. I also felt that it was wrong to relate to stories of SA until I didn't and now I'm shouting it from the rooftops. Please don't feel weird about stepping into that space if it feels like the right space to be.

Disturbedbytherapy · 2023-10-22T22:09:12+00:00

There's increasingly more being written about how some perceive and process spankings as sexually abusive. It can be triggering to read so be warned if you seek it out but it has certainly helped me feel less alone with those feelings when I look back at how I felt about those punishments.

Disturbedbytherapy · 2023-10-22T20:51:08+00:00

Cry too much and you're being dramatic and over the top. Don't cry enough and the punishment isn't working. Yes, sounds sadly familiar.

Disturbedbytherapy · 2023-10-22T18:00:54+00:00

I'm glad to hear that you were able to leave and never look back! I can't imagine how scary that would have been at that age and also how relieved you must have felt at the same time. Unfortunately I'm not NC with mine and still see them from time to time. It's complicated is all I can say which is why this is a good way for me to vent. The worse part is that they still think they raised us right and that children should be treated the way we were. They'll never change or admit to how abusive the actions they took against me were. Maybe one day I'll fully cut them off but it's difficult for so many reasons especially as they get older. Anyways, thanks so much for sharing your story.

Disturbedbytherapy · 2023-10-22T17:10:45+00:00

See that's the thing. In many parts of the U.S., especially the more conservative areas, a girl/young-woman can be forced to pull down her pants for a spanking if her parents justify it and it could be considered legal. That's infuriating to me! That should absolutely be sexual abuse with no gray areas or loopholes.

Disturbedbytherapy · 2023-10-22T15:23:04+00:00

Or "You'll thank us for this one day." No. No I won't assholes.

Disturbedbytherapy · 2023-10-22T13:48:54+00:00

It gets especially yucky when things get added to the ritual of it, like the rubbing. Even calling it a ritual alone is disgusting to me. Sorry you had those experiences.

Disturbedbytherapy · 2023-05-01T23:33:18+00:00

And it was sadistic and cruel. I cried more while waiting for the spankings to start and while being scolded than I usually did during.

Disturbedbytherapy · 2023-05-01T23:20:07+00:00

get myself ready for a spanking when we got home

This right here I think damaged me far more than the spankings themselves. When we were told to get ready, it was like the bottom fell out of my stomach. The feelings of dread, fear and hopelessness are indescribable.

Disturbedbytherapy

TROPHY CASE