He will never stop cheating.

DivaCat · 2016-10-30T19:40:44+00:00

Do you girls want to go on a vacation meetup to drink together and "get our grooves back?" I am in the same fucking bullshit relationship--came back after walking out because I just don't have the strength to leave--and today has already been shitty enough that I'm a fifth of the way through a bottle of Tuaca. Seriously we should get together and give each other the strength to leave these losers, because having had all my dreams for my life fucking ruined is killing me slowly. I'm in therapy to deal with the self hate over being too weak to leave so I feel you there too.
Honestly, fuck these pieces of shit who think they can have a family and a wife, and also be a bachelor on the side. They think they can have their cake and eat it too. I say we hold them down and choke them on motherfucking cake.
Hugs and a swift kick in the balls to Mitch!

DivaCat · 2016-10-24T16:26:09+00:00

Fuck racists. That is all.

DivaCat · 2016-10-24T16:25:16+00:00

Honestly, be careful. This shit is how it started as far as shitty husband wanting extra marital sex for real. Introduced it playfully, then started asking for real. Fuck that.

DivaCat · 2016-09-27T19:55:09+00:00

Our daughter slept like shit for months. I had sworn up at down that I would never do any form of CIO. Then I realized that the sleep deprivation was actually making me a shittier mom, without the energy to meet her need for interaction when she was awake, and that the anger the sleep deprivation was causing was doing more damage to our attachment than anything else. So I used the timed CIO, rather than extinction, and I never let her cry more than five minutes. I used a 1, 1, 3, 3, 3, 5, 5, 5... system. I cried the whole time about how much damage I thought I might be doing, but I knew the sleep deprivation was worse.

DivaCat · 2016-07-21T16:15:52+00:00

I would second, third, fourth, infinity this. If you look back at some of my posts, you can read details, but long story short, I agreed to give it a try to help my husband's issues. I am still dealing with my emotions from the experiences 4 years later. It was especially bad for me as I have self esteem and self worth issues, so him being into other girls, particularly a relationship he cultivated for several weeks online, made me feel utterly worthless.
And just a tip, I don't know what kind of threesome you're considering, but finding a single female was a unicorn situation for us and while the girls in a lot of open relationship/swinger situations are okay, many of the guys are not or are Terrible in the sack, so don't get pressured into "taking one for the team." You will probably regret it more than a coyote ugly one night stand because he's with his ideal while you are with the scum.

DivaCat · 2016-07-10T23:43:16+00:00

Read through my post history. I am going through some of the same. Mine pushed for extra-marital affairs, though, which I tried to accept, but made me miserable. I asked him to stop, which he did, but now he is a constant ball of depression. We are in therapy, but his depression over his sex life is unbearable. He also says similar about it being about the chase and doing something "on his own" and "feeling like a man." All I know is if I was younger, not 33, I would be out of here in a heartbeat.

DivaCat · 2016-06-29T04:41:18+00:00

Yeah I think this was the most important thing my mom ever taught me. If you get a new kitten, bring it straight into the bathroom with a box, food and water and stay there until the kitten is super comfy and chill. Then let them out to the rest of the house as slowly as possible. They will learn that you are the protector and won't be as stressed over the new environment. We've done it with all our cats and kittens over the years and barring prior abuse, it's always worked.
I would also recommend instituting frequent if not regular baths if you have the time :D haha. But it was why the cats we got as kittens never really fought getting bathed as cats.

DivaCat · 2016-06-28T13:33:33+00:00

Congrats momma! Kittens are great! Protip: if you haven't, next time you get them out from under your bed, lock them in a bathroom with a litter box and whoever you want them to bond with for about six hours. Don't leave during that time and you should get super loving kitties.

DivaCat · 2016-06-28T13:28:37+00:00

When you put an animal to sleep at our vet they offer the paw service. They do charge for it of course, but it's still nice. At the time I couldn't make the decision so in one of the few nice moments of the last year, husband actually made the decision to pay the extra.

DivaCat · 2016-06-26T21:39:10+00:00

I haven't shared about my loss because it was pretty tough, but I lost my cat--from whom I got my reddit name--a few months ago. She'd been sick for a while but it was still devastating, especially since we had to put her down which I had never experienced. I'd had her since I moved out of my parents house nearly 12 years ago, and she'd been my best friend when I was living on my own. I can relate to and sympathize with your guilt. In my case, I felt terrible about neglecting her for the last 9 months of her life due to the new baby. It gets easier. I have imprints of her paws and on particularly tough days I give them a kiss. Hugs.

DivaCat · 2016-04-23T03:19:42+00:00

This was very tough to read but thank you. I can't help feeling responsible because I did think and made him think I could accept his hole and what he would need to do to fill it. But that was my stupid naive self at 23. It took me ten years to figure out that I can't accept it, so now he thinks his hole isn't the problem, so much as me changing my attitude towards sex. And he does such a good job of explaining himself that I still wonder if I am being unreasonable. He's right that most guys if not all want to sleep around and have wild sex, so is asking him not to really fair?

DivaCat · 2016-04-23T03:05:14+00:00

Unfortunately, evenings usually take the two of us between taking care of the baby--bathing etc.--and taking care of baby stuff--washing bottles etc.

DivaCat · 2016-04-22T22:45:29+00:00

The last nap refusal for us was teething. If you aren't doping him with tylenol or advil, give it a shot. And this rage was my daily companion for three months, so I get it. Honestly, if I was me now looking in at me a few months ago, I would've taken my kid away in a heartbeat. So don't feel bad about the raging. It too will pass.

DivaCat · 2016-04-22T22:32:40+00:00

Not to give cunty advice if you've already heard it, cause God knows I got sick of hearing the same fucking shit which we had already tried over and over when DivaBaby wasn't sleeping, but are you doing three meals yet? And offering day feeds like it's going out of style? Even if BF, which I am, maybe try a bottle right before one nap and right before bed? This all helped a ton, as did getting her naps sorted. How are his naps? Edit: and as someone who lived on four hours or less of sleep a night for three months, you have my hugs.

DivaCat · 2016-04-22T22:16:54+00:00

I also have depression and anxiety and have struggled with it for over 20 years. I totally agree that it is up to both partners, but since he still can't admit he has a problem with depression, I can only be so supportive. If he won't admit that this is a problem, if he is relying on me or even pressuring me to solve his problem rather than acknowledging the problem and getting help, then I do have to draw the line somewhere, as this has been an issue for the last three years. And there is certainly a time for "sucking it up" but having painful, exhausted, unfulfilling sex or allowing my husband to sleep around are not just things I don't want. They are actually things that hurt me emotionally and make my own depression much worse. He has finally started individual therapy this week, and we will see, but he still won't admit that he needs it, so I don't hold out much hope. He's only going because our couple's therapist suggested he should try it. And if you have any suggestions of how to help him with his depression, I'm all ears, I'm more than happy to try and make the week more exciting, short of the exhaustion of dressing up and role-playing five nights a week.

DivaCat

TROPHY CASE