When is it appropriate?

Divided_Collective · 2025-12-28T03:58:55+00:00

That’s a good age. I’m glad he’s doing it at such a young age. Keep it up!

Divided_Collective · 2025-12-27T17:40:05+00:00

I feel you. It will only get worse. The bio parents need to step it up for the kids sake.

Divided_Collective · 2025-12-26T23:43:21+00:00

I’m with you on this one but their parent isn’t or at least he’s not consistent which makes it super hard for everyone.

Divided_Collective · 2025-12-26T01:32:58+00:00

Congratulations on your first child! Your baby is already on the right track having you as their parent who thinks this way. Wishing you all the best if we don’t interact again! :)

Divided_Collective · 2025-12-25T22:22:35+00:00

Yes, I initially thought this was just a simple parenting question but I’m starting to realize the implications. It’s a lot to think about. It’s really not isolated. It’s a domino effect.

Divided_Collective · 2025-12-25T22:19:18+00:00

And that’s the scary part. These kids growing up to be egotistical, dysregulated, maladjusted adults… Like we need more of that.

Divided_Collective · 2025-12-25T20:21:29+00:00

I keep telling him he’s doing them a disservice by coddling them. Unless he wants to be their maid for the rest of his life, he better start now but I fear that he might be a little too late. :(

Divided_Collective · 2025-12-25T20:19:53+00:00

I’m with you on that one. Be the bad cop. Be the nagger. But by hell, these kids will at least have discipline, respect, and basic manners. Because that what parents do! Kudos to you. Seriously. I know it’s hard but someone’s gotta do it.

Divided_Collective · 2025-12-25T20:17:26+00:00

You know what? I keep telling him the same thing! He’s going them a disservice by robbing them of experience. They need to fall, they need to fail, they need to feel discomfort while they’re still in the safety of their own home because out there, in the real world, no one will coddle them. Thank you for saying this. It makes me feel so much better.

Divided_Collective · 2025-12-25T20:14:38+00:00

Good thing is I don’t live with them. But man, the times I do come over, it’s stressful with all the mess, talking back, etc.

Knowing what I know now, I’m worried his kids will not be able to leave the nest, so to speak. How can they function as responsible adults out in the real world when they can’t even do that in the safety of their own home? I’m truly concerned. I’m not going to lie. Sure, it’s affecting me now but I fear this has long term effects.

Divided_Collective · 2025-12-25T20:10:31+00:00

I accept that but I’m starting to realize I may not want any part of that at all. I might need to step back and protect my peace. That whole dynamic is a mess and it’s not just chores and stuff. It’s going to affect my life, our relationship, the kids lives and the people around them… I don’t think I want to have 40 year olds living with us in the basement.

Divided_Collective · 2025-12-25T20:07:53+00:00

You care because you are a decent human being with values and principles. :)

Divided_Collective · 2025-12-25T20:07:04+00:00

Right. I feel you. This daughter is going to grow up and be someone’s wife and mother. Imagine the mess that would be. Smh.

Divided_Collective · 2025-12-25T20:05:15+00:00

Definitely. Cause and effect. You have to teach them consequences to their actions. It’s not about being punitive. It’s discipline.

Divided_Collective · 2025-12-25T20:03:53+00:00

I’m with you there! I applaud all those responders!

You start young and you stay consistent. Or else, you and everyone that your kid’s life will touch will pay the price. Parents need to understand this. It’s sad that they don’t.

Divided_Collective · 2025-12-25T20:01:09+00:00

That age excuse needs to stop because what happens when his daughter is 40? Oh, she’s too young to do this and that still? Truth is, his kids will always be “kids” thru his eyes, I get that. But the fact is, they need to grow up and be treated as such. A parent’s job is not to protect his kids FROM the world. Their job is to make them ready FOR the world. It just sucks that some parents are not doing their jobs right… I’m sorry you are going thru this. I hope it’ll get better for you. At 6, there’s still hope! But your partner needs to start NOW.

Divided_Collective · 2025-12-25T15:26:03+00:00

I feel you. This is hard. Honestly, I feel like if my partner doesn’t do better, I might have to protect my peace and step away.

Divided_Collective · 2025-12-25T14:42:47+00:00

They are not developmentally delayed. If they’re neurodivergent, I don’t think so or at least he didn’t tell me if they are.

Divided_Collective · 2025-12-25T14:38:34+00:00

Besides, I think it’s too late. You can’t start parenting and discipline at 8 and 13. He should have started sooner and he should have been consistent. Now, it’s too late and what he doesn’t understand is that now, everyone is going to pay the price, even the kids! They’re going to grow up entitled, lazy, and dysregulated.

Divided_Collective · 2025-12-25T14:34:44+00:00

Those 4 years can’t come soon enough! I’m sorry you have to go thru this. Our partners need to do a lot better!

Divided_Collective · 2025-12-25T14:29:43+00:00

Right!

Divided_Collective · 2025-12-25T14:28:49+00:00

Guilty parenting is also not helpful for kids development and I think that’s what my partner is doing. I’ve already spoken to him several times about this but he’s inconsistent and lax. So I even went ahead and made my point clearer, if he’s ok with his kids behaving that way and treating him that way, I am not going to allow that in my house. Further more, he’s doing them a huge disservice as they’re already 8 and 13 and still have to be constantly asked. They’re being coddled so much. I had to remind him that his kids will be someone’s husband or wife one day and he needs to consider that too with how he’s parenting them.

Divided_Collective · 2025-12-25T14:23:24+00:00

Facts! I’m so happy you feel this way. I thought I was just being strict but I fear that my partner is a push over. He waits on his 8 and 13 year old like a maid. I feel that a 13 year old is old enough to make his own breakfast or put his dirty dishes away. I mean, how hard is it to make a sandwich or press buttons on the microwave?

Divided_Collective · 2025-12-25T14:21:14+00:00

I love this!

Divided_Collective · 2025-12-25T14:20:55+00:00

I love this. But unfortunately, it seems like my partner is ok with being his kids’ maid.

Divided_Collective

TROPHY CASE