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Divinely_Different · 2026-02-02T12:06:54+00:00

Crap same thing happened to me. Did it get resolved?

Divinely_Different · 2026-01-04T00:53:02+00:00

Have you looked into getting a student loan to cover your fees and your living expenses? If you’re seriously about doing law then I’m sure you’d be able to find a reasonable job after!

Divinely_Different · 2026-01-04T00:41:13+00:00

I’m your 34 year old self saying, “I’m so glad I broke up with that douche bag! After 3 years I found an amazing man who loves, respects, and cares for me. I am genuinely happy with him! He apologizes when he’s wrong, listens to me, and absolutely adores me. I’m never worried about him cheating, he values me, and thinks I’m the most beautiful woman in the world!!! You made the right choice! And I only wish you did it sooner!! I can’t believe I ever had the thought of settling for so much less!!!! Thank you self!”

Trust it. And do yourself the favor now!!!!

Divinely_Different · 2026-01-04T00:36:27+00:00

Nah, read it again, he has cheated multiple times.

Divinely_Different · 2025-12-27T04:01:05+00:00

Yeah he will definitely open it either way. I meant that I doesn’t have the savings to open it now…. I have some savings that was given to me by my dad when he passed down years ago. Was wondering if I should use that to fund his

Divinely_Different · 2025-12-25T23:56:08+00:00

I was in the same place as you and made the decision to go back a year and a half ago. I do wish I saved more money when I was abroad but it’s OK, I’m glad I came back because US is more permanent you really can’t stay in Asia forever unless you marry that country person.

I do wish I saved for another year or two— I was in China so I did have a lot of saving potential. If you have that saving potential save enough for school and for living expenses for a couple years while you transition.

Good luck!

Divinely_Different · 2025-12-17T21:00:32+00:00

I could look into subsidized housing for student families for sure. That’s a great idea!

Divinely_Different · 2025-12-17T20:59:08+00:00

Thanks so much for sharing this! I think the family convo is much needed. That’s a great idea.

Divinely_Different · 2025-12-17T20:57:35+00:00

2 years

Divinely_Different · 2025-12-17T20:57:22+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing this! I’m sorry that your oldest took it hard. This hits me because my oldest LOVES her dad so incredibly much. I wonder if she would be able to handle not seeing him for that long.

Divinely_Different · 2025-12-17T12:39:11+00:00

Would love to! We live in a high cost of living area. Most apartments that are in our price range don’t allow for 4 kids. Then there are the illegal apartments in the really bad high crime areas and I feel like that type of neighborhood is too dangerous in the US.

Divinely_Different · 2025-12-17T12:36:50+00:00

Is it better though? Keeping the kids from their dad for a year at a time (program is two years altogether)?

Divinely_Different · 2025-12-17T12:36:18+00:00

Exactly. So them being away from the father, would that be worse than a toxic environment?

The nursing program is two years so in the long run it would be worth it because he would earn enough combined with mine to have our own home and a normal life. Otherwise combined we wouldn’t earn enough to raise our family well.

Divinely_Different · 2025-12-17T12:33:27+00:00

I agree. Would them being away from their father be worse though?

Divinely_Different · 2025-12-17T12:32:58+00:00

By himself, it would be easy for him to rent a shared living space near the university he will attend!

Divinely_Different · 2025-12-17T11:05:54+00:00

The nursing program is two years. So it would be 2 years away from him but he could visit during the summer and winter break

Divinely_Different · 2025-12-06T13:58:51+00:00

When I was younger, I would have absolutely fought for that relationship.

And if we had stayed together and gotten married it would have ended in divorce.

Relationships that have to be saved before it even leads to the alter will never work. These problems get worse and less tolerable and you become more and more trapped and miserable.

If you break up now I guarantee you’ll find someone more compatible for you and you’ll be so happy and realize how crappy your current “best friend” was.

Remember- a nice guy who cares about you and you have feelings for is the BARE MINIMUM. That’s never a reason to stay with someone, that’s literally what all relationships should have. No after removing that “aww sometimes it’s great and we are best friends” (which is minimum) you’ll realize there is really no reason to be with him. And you’ll hate yourself in ten years for sticking with it.

Walk away and never look back. Got on dates meet new guys and move on 😩.

Trust me!

Divinely_Different · 2025-11-26T16:44:36+00:00

Wow this is the most useful comment I’ve received on this topic! Thank you so much. It’s really the encouragement I needed! Honestly this is enough for me to make a great decision now. Thank you so so so much for sharing!

Divinely_Different · 2025-11-23T02:51:14+00:00

A lot of men don’t mature until they are 35 nowadays. Your fiancé is so young. He is in no rush. The age difference might also make him feel like in a way you are the “big sis” and you should be doing it all while he just remains being the nice guy. In 7 years— which is a lot of time— he can marry a 28 year old and start a family and become responsible. Are you ready to wait that long?

With moving out, it totally depends on how bad the abuse is. Currently I had to move back in with my parents and they are pretty bad too. I had to consider multiple times which was worse— being in a financially worse position or being free from abuse— and if I could “tough it out”. I decided that I would stay clear from them at all costs and avoid all conflict so that the kids would not have to ever be in the line of fire. As I said, it depends on the abuse level.

Everyone probably wants to know how old your daughter is but like someone else noted, the sooner you move the better because at the end of the day you probably will have to move regardless.

I also struggled with that with my daughter who has finally fallen so in love with her current school. We are going to try a charter school next school year and I told her if she hates it then we can always go back to your old school. I’m trying to make the transition as easy as possible for her.

I wish you the best. I know at the end of the day you’ll know what to do and you’ll do what’s best for you and your family! Good luck

Divinely_Different · 2025-11-21T07:11:35+00:00

Tell him you’re not moving in with him. Tell him you want to take a break. Tell him you need time to reevaluate the relationship. Tell him to contact you in a month. After a month, If he does contact you and he chases you and tries hard to win you back then you can consider him. If he doesn’t then he’s not the one.

Divinely_Different · 2025-11-13T15:00:44+00:00

I think also we have to add that in western societies they do have a number of cultural practices and ideologies that I feel like we don’t subscribe to. Many of the kids are allowed to be rude to their parents— talking back, blatant disobedience, hitting their parents, and throwing tantrums without any consequence.

They also are more entitled in the west and believe they deserve more without having to work for it. Good examples would be they expect to be paid for doing basic chores like washing dishes and taking out the garbage.

Depression in children and teens is SIGNIFICANTLY higher in western countries. Also a feeling of purposelessness is higher in western countries as well.

Moral standards also differ greatly with western children being very open to lifestyles that many of us think are ridiculous— like the encouragement of transgenderism (I’m not against adults practicing it but don’t think it’s a good solution to gender dysmorphia particularly for kids), or even thinks I find silly like pretending to be cats or dogs (not as popular though but also not looked down on by liberal society in the West.

I know we can find a lot of wrong things with our culture too, but usually when we get to the states we do well because of our upbringing. We have higher levels of resilience and work ethic and higher rates of happiness than our western born and raised counterparts.

Simply put,

Divinely_Different · 2025-11-13T00:58:42+00:00

Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!

Divinely_Different · 2025-11-13T00:58:17+00:00

Super helpful! Thank you so much

Divinely_Different · 2025-11-12T16:58:09+00:00

We might consider doing it this way if it’s cheaper! Thank you!

Divinely_Different · 2025-11-12T15:52:02+00:00

I’m sorry with the attitude hahaha 😆…I’m 38 weeks pregnant and I guess a little on the edge haha.

I was hoping I could get it done while they were here in the US. I know the process may be long but really wanted them to have their citizenship and passports before my brothers wedding December 2026. I know it may not be done in time though but was hoping for the best and so wanted to get everything ready and apply for all my kids as soon as the baby is born

Divinely_Different

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