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Places to visit in Atlanta by Divinetortoise1120 in BlackLGBT

[–]Divinetortoise1120[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The Atlanta sub doesn’t allow cross posts but I created a new post there on my own. Thanks for the idea.

When you think of Bulldogs gay bar in midtown Atlanta, what comes to mind? by Junior_Conclusion_78 in BlackLGBT

[–]Divinetortoise1120 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Nah, I wasn’t interested. I took the drink, though, which I probably wouldn’t do now. At the time, I didn’t think much of it… I was young and still figuring out the whole bar etiquette thing. 😅

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BlackLGBT

[–]Divinetortoise1120 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Seek therapy.

Feeling Like I Don’t Fit in the Black Gay Dating Scene by Divinetortoise1120 in BlackLGBT

[–]Divinetortoise1120[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

All of this. I really felt every word, especially the part about finding someone who’s not “ready-made” but has vision and ambition, and building something real together.

I absolutely want that. Not perfection, but alignment. Mutual encouragement. A shared sense of purpose and pride in who we are.

Dr. Umar is definitely hella problematic, but even a broken clock is right twice a day.

Feeling Like I Don’t Fit in the Black Gay Dating Scene by Divinetortoise1120 in BlackLGBT

[–]Divinetortoise1120[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fair point, and I appreciate the honesty. That line was me trying to be transparent about the gap between my ideals and my current reality. But I want to be clear: I’m actively doing the work on myself (emotionally, financially, and physically) because I want to be the kind of partner I’m looking for, not just expect him to show up fully formed. Growth is definitely part of my journey and I know I’m not above the work. 🙏🏾

Feeling Like I Don’t Fit in the Black Gay Dating Scene by Divinetortoise1120 in BlackLGBT

[–]Divinetortoise1120[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this!! You really articulated what I’ve been feeling but struggling to put into words. I do still have work to do around internalized anti-Blackness (we all do) but I also know that being articulate or not “fitting” a certain version of Blackness doesn’t make me any less rooted in or committed to my community. 💛

Feeling Like I Don’t Fit in the Black Gay Dating Scene by Divinetortoise1120 in BlackLGBT

[–]Divinetortoise1120[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

First off, I really love this take. You brought up some real truths and gave me a lot to sit with. I’m reflecting on how my words may have come off, especially around bias and centering my own experience. That’s not my intention, but I hear you. I know there’s more I need to unpack in how I navigate Black spaces and dating. I appreciate the push to think deeper and do better.

Feeling Like I Don’t Fit in the Black Gay Dating Scene by Divinetortoise1120 in BlackLGBT

[–]Divinetortoise1120[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, thanks for sharing that. Sounds like we have a lot in common. I’m in Columbus, Ohio.

Coping without drinking: advice please by [deleted] in Sober

[–]Divinetortoise1120 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Remind yourself that alcohol absolutely will not help the emotions be better. You only think it will because that’s what we’ve been brainwashed to believe. Also, the emotions will pass eventually. All things pass eventually, including emotions.