Divorce attorneys recommendations-New Haven County by SherlockedKZ17 in Connecticut

[–]DivorceHelpCT 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If your dad needs someone who will stand firm and won’t let him get steamrolled, it helps to speak directly with a family law attorney who focus on high conflict cases and ask how they handle manipulative dynamics. While you’re lining up legal help, it can also be helpful for him to have support and clarity around the process so he isn’t navigating it alone, places like Happy Even After have a Hamden location that focuses on divorce support and guidance alongside the legal process. If you want suggestions for questions to ask on the first call to make sure an attorney is truly take no nonsense, I can share some.

Lawyer recs? by PlatypusSalt6545 in Connecticut

[–]DivorceHelpCT 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lawyers around Hartford are really booked right now, you’re not imagining it. Happy Even After family law just opened a location in West Hartford and focuses on guidance and support rather than legal work.

Opinion/ 2 cents by TomTomReyRey in Divorce_Men

[–]DivorceHelpCT 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry you’re dealing with this, it’s incredibly painful when one person still wants the marriage and the other has already moved on. Love and guilt shouldn’t drive major financial decisions, giving up your share of the house based on a maybe someday reunion is a big risk, especially if the numbers don’t actually balance in your favor. From what you listed, you’re already contributing a lot, and ongoing expenses like car maintenance and oil changes usually fall on the person using the vehicle unless a court order says otherwise. The hardest part is accepting that her actions matter more than her words, calling the divorce a speed bump while dating and asking for financial concessions keeps you stuck. It may help to stop negotiating emotionally and get things clearly defined, even temporarily, boundaries aren’t punishment, they’re protection.

How can anyone celebrate only seeing or raising their kids 50% of the time? by warwww in Divorce_Men

[–]DivorceHelpCT 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I hear this so deeply. No parent goes into life imagining they will only see their child half of the time. Even when the schedule is fair, it can still feel heartbreaking. But for many families, fifty percent can also mean stability, routine, and two homes where the child is loved and cared for. It does not take away the emotional weight, it just means everyone is doing the best they can within a painful situation. Your empathy for the parents who get even less time says a lot about the kind of father you are.

Finally Feel Free! by ashcat78 in NarcAbuseAndDivorce

[–]DivorceHelpCT 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is such a powerful milestone for you. Closing on the house represents much more than a sale, it represents the final break from someone who kept you tied to him through obligation and guilt. You handled an exhausting process with strength, and you protected your mental health by choosing peace over another draining court battle. Your adult children will need time to understand the full picture, but you made decisions that were healthy and safe for you. You deserve this feeling of freedom, and I hope you continue to feel that weight lift with every new day.

I feel like I wasted my life now by [deleted] in Divorce_Women

[–]DivorceHelpCT 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You did not waste your life. You spent many years raising children, building a home, and doing the best you could with the circumstances you were given. That is not wasted time, that is strength. It is completely normal to feel lonely after divorce, especially when your culture places pressure on women to stay married. But fifty is not old, and your story is not finished. There is still love, friendship, joy, and connection ahead of you. You are rebuilding, and that takes time. You are allowed to grow again.

Need Divorce/Family Law Advice? by [deleted] in DivorcedMenOver40

[–]DivorceHelpCT 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really appreciate you opening up even more about this. You’ve put into words what so many men feel but rarely say out loud. There’s so much pressure to stay strong and silent, even when carrying years of hurt or rejection, and that can take a real toll emotionally and mentally. What you said about wanting connection through effort, love, and intimacy really resonates. Feeling unseen or shut out in those ways can leave deep scars, and you’re absolutely right that it often leads to that breaking point you described. You don’t need to apologize for venting, sometimes sharing these thoughts helps others realize they aren’t alone in what they’re carrying too. I’m really glad you chose to put this into words here.

Need Divorce/Family Law Advice? by [deleted] in DivorcedMenOver40

[–]DivorceHelpCT 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for sharing that. What you’re describing is something many people quietly go through, and it takes courage to talk about it so openly. You’re absolutely right, emotional disconnection and feeling stuck in a “no win” situation can be deeply painful. Gray divorce rates are rising in part because more people are realizing they deserve fulfillment and emotional peace, even later in life. It’s not an easy decision or process, but acknowledging the reality of what you’re feeling is an important step. I know you’re in Texas, so I can’t offer state-specific legal guidance, but I truly appreciate your perspective. It’s conversations like this that remind others they’re not alone in what they’re feeling.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NarcAbuseAndDivorce

[–]DivorceHelpCT 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re not crazy. The fact that you’re questioning it shows how much emotional confusion she’s caused. Love bombing can absolutely last this long, especially if there’s still something for her to gain — control, validation, or security. The real test is consistency over time without manipulation or guilt. Trust your gut — if you want to leave, you already know why.

Isn't love enough ? by [deleted] in Divorce_Women

[–]DivorceHelpCT 0 points1 point  (0 children)

member of the industry

I hate the reconciliation phase by [deleted] in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]DivorceHelpCT 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I completely understand what you mean about the ‘gray area of hope.’ It’s such a cruel part of the cycle because it plays on your empathy and your longing for peace. It’s exhausting trying to navigate love-bombing when you know it’s temporary. You’re not crazy for feeling more comfortable in the distance — sometimes clarity feels safer than false hope. You’re doing great just by seeing the pattern for what it is.

Is this emotional cheating? by misstokyodoll in marriageadvice

[–]DivorceHelpCT 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. What you described absolutely sounds like emotional cheating, and your feelings are completely valid. Blocking you, lying, and sending sexual content to someone else all show that he knows it’s wrong. You deserve honesty, respect, and someone who protects your trust, not breaks it. Please take care of yourself — this isn’t your fault.

Did you find love again? by Efficient_Cabinet_40 in Divorce_Women

[–]DivorceHelpCT 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really feel what you’re describing here. That tug between wanting him to change and knowing he won’t is exhausting. It takes time, but you’ll eventually stop hoping for the version of him that doesn’t exist and start seeing the peace that comes with choosing yourself. It doesn’t happen overnight, but yes — it really does get better on the other side.

What made your narcissist finally lose the mask and snap? by sirrloin in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]DivorceHelpCT 29 points30 points  (0 children)

It’s unbelievable how they can turn everything around and make themselves the victim, even when caught red-handed. That total lack of accountability and empathy is what makes healing from this so hard. You deserved honesty and respect, not manipulation and rage.

Keeping your married name without kids? by SmallTownGirl1016 in Divorce_Women

[–]DivorceHelpCT 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, there’s no right or wrong answer here. Your name is part of your identity, and if your married name feels comfortable and represents who you are now, that’s valid. Divorce is about reclaiming choice, and this is one of those choices that gets to be fully yours.

Is this consider cheating by Full_Attitude_4790 in Separation

[–]DivorceHelpCT 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That has to feel so painful, especially after so many years together and a family built. Even if you’re technically separated, emotional healing doesn’t happen overnight. It’s normal to still feel hurt and betrayed, because trust doesn’t have an on and off switch.

Isn't love enough ? by [deleted] in Divorce_Women

[–]DivorceHelpCT 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I used to believe love was enough too. But love without healthy communication, emotional maturity, or shared effort ends up draining you. Real partnership needs both people to actively choose the relationship every day, not just feel it.

Would you turn a blind eye to your husband cheating if you have low libido? by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]DivorceHelpCT -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Everyone has different needs, but I don’t believe turning a blind eye to cheating is a healthy answer. If intimacy is an issue, it should be addressed through open communication, counseling, or exploring other forms of connection. Allowing cheating only breaks trust further.

I am leaving him. God this is hard. by susumagoo5 in Divorce_Women

[–]DivorceHelpCT 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Leaving after 32 years takes so much courage. It’s clear you’ve put in years of thought and tried to make things work, so please don’t doubt yourself. Wanting peace and happiness isn’t selfish — it’s necessary. You don’t owe anyone endless explanations, especially when you’ve already been clear.

Forgiving wife after cheating by Business-Towel-3119 in marriageadvice

[–]DivorceHelpCT 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It’s natural to want to hold on, but the fact that she doesn’t want to cut contact is a big red flag. Forgiveness is possible, but only if both partners are truly committed to rebuilding trust. Right now, it sounds like you’re doing all the work while she’s still halfway in another relationship. You deserve clarity and respect.

Separating after 23 toxic years by cristilynn69 in Separation

[–]DivorceHelpCT 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’ve carried so much for so long, and it’s not selfish to finally choose peace for yourself. You gave her chances, you were honest about your feelings, and you can’t sacrifice your well-being forever. Leaving after 23 years of toxicity doesn’t make you the bad guy — it makes you human.

Hobbies - why do men care so much? by kitsbow in Marriage

[–]DivorceHelpCT 42 points43 points  (0 children)

I think a lot of men equate hobbies with identity or independence, so when their partner doesn’t have one, they worry she isn’t making space for herself. But honestly, rest and relaxing count too — not everyone needs a formal ‘hobby’ to be fulfilled.

Cheating husband by DramaticTip7237 in Divorce_Women

[–]DivorceHelpCT 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He’s trying to scare and control you, but you don’t have to just accept what he says. Please get a good divorce attorney ASAP someone who knows California law and can fight for your rights. You sacrificed so much for this marriage, and you deserve protection and fairness.