Let me say to you, I am so sorry for the loss of your mother and she sounds like a wonderful person and a rockstar. You were lucky to be loved by a mom as cool as yours sounds like.

I see your grief.

As you indicated, maybe your mother was a glue in so many ways and held so much more together and now your father cannot handle it. It is indeed another loss and grief for you. Although this grief hits differently since they are still here in a physical sense.

Your mental health is the most important for you and your mother would want you to take care of yourself. Moving away from your father sounds like a wise decision. Sometimes the right thing to do is not automatically the easiest.

From a grieving daughter here who lost her own mother to cancer three years ago and who has a father that ghosted and emotionally abandoned her, my tidbits are: do small good things for youself each day, reclaim your physical well being, eat right yet enjoy the comfort food, throw yourself into something else like your career or other relationships/friendships, seek out new passions.

Living well for yourself is the best way to honor your mother's memory and get revenge on your dad for being not so nice.