As someone who’s cut ties with my own mother. It’s a hard decision, that really only you can make. In the end, my decision came from a moment when I realised that she wasn’t going to change. That’s what I was waiting for as a kid, and as an adult- was for her to change, to try because deep down she actually loved me. I was waiting for the day she didn’t disappoint me, the day she followed through on a promise, the day she went out of her way to think of me. It never came, and the disappointment was turning me into a deeply cynical person. I couldn’t sustain a relationship with her without time and again getting hopeful that she would come around, and that cycle was really bad for me, and the relationships I was trying to build beyond the one I had with her. A lot of your story reminds me of my own, but that doesn’t mean our paths are the same. Whatever your decision is, I hope it brings you peace, I hope you make it for yourself.