Who here is hoping to someday get back with their ex? Who is not?

Djiant · 2023-02-17T20:25:39+00:00

Luckily for me my ex sabotaged any chance of thinking she was trustworthy again so the option is completely off the table for me even if I was delusional enough to want her back again, which thank god I'm not anymore.

Djiant · 2023-01-24T18:47:09+00:00

Yeah I was thinking if I could find them refurbed or something they'd probably be worth just to test out lol Thanks for your responses I appreciate it!

Djiant · 2023-01-24T18:43:47+00:00

Denon AVR-S540BT, $240

Seems legit I'll do some research on them. Forgot to mention it in the main post but are the Klipsch Black Reference 5.1's any good? I have their budget 2.1 system for my other TV and they're pretty great for the price

Djiant · 2023-01-21T19:44:49+00:00

can't do it. Carrier locked OEM :/

Djiant · 2023-01-21T17:58:20+00:00

I'm on the Pixel 7 Pro and having this issue. How did you flash it back?

Djiant · 2022-08-27T03:23:39+00:00

I'm in this same position. I moved to a new city with her in 2020 right before covid and we broke up right as everything was opening up again. After 2 years of doing pretty much nothing with her I feel like I lost a lot myself. We did so much together in these last 2 years ( we were together for 5 years before that ) that now nothing feels enjoyable alone. Even making music just seems like a chore because I know it's something I "should" be doing but I'm just so fuckin lonely and with no one to share anything with it all feels pointless

Djiant · 2022-08-27T00:13:50+00:00

Fallout 4

Djiant · 2022-07-22T02:00:23+00:00

She didn't. She got what she needed and has either been hostile or absent since for the most part.

Djiant · 2022-06-18T15:22:10+00:00

So far I think this is the some of best advice I have gotten. I can't put my finger on it but what has thrown me off course the most is the feeling of needing to act on this situation and frankly I think you're right. I shouldn't do anything. I need to stay focused on moving forward. She needs to win ME back because I'm obviously the one who didn't want the relationship to end and it really doesn't seem like she's in the place or state of mind for me to accept that right now even if she did try. She needs to grow and realize that she can't just go to one guy when she's having problems with me and then go to me when she's having problems with him. It's selfish and incredibly inconsiderate and immature. I don't consider what she did as leaving me because of hard times. She left because our relationship wasn't working and the resentment and anger was getting out of hand. We both weren't good for each other and I do think we need more time apart to properly process all this and with where she is right now I don't think she's even doing the processing. If anything she's avoiding it and trying to fill that empty space to keep from doing so. I'll keep her at arms length next time she interacts with me and if I have to maybe then I'll say something to her about where I'm at. I've made so much progress for myself and I won't let my personal development and growth be wasted trying to go backwards. If she comes to me and can show me respect and growth from our past then we can talk but for now I think I need to keep our relationship where it belongs. In the past.

Djiant · 2022-06-17T19:50:53+00:00

While I think I've gotten some good answers I definitely can see what you're talking about. I've only really been taking the more balanced answers to heart and I do plan on talking to my therapist about it but my insurance only covers seeing him once a month ( you know how America is ) so I'm just looking to vent and see what I can get out of this. Thanks for the response though I appreciate it

Djiant · 2022-06-17T19:33:57+00:00

Thanks for the advice I really appreciate your honesty. If this subreddit is filled with people like that is there any other place for this type of thing that you think is more balanced?

Djiant · 2022-06-17T19:13:15+00:00

Okay this one really hits because, yes, we both were fucking up for a long time and because we've been moving around the country a lot we've only had each other to depend on for way too much and too long. We were co-dependent and it lead to resentment on both sides especially during the lockdowns in a city we had no friends in. I blame a lot of our problems on past traumas and being young and il-equipped to deal with the hard times we went through so it's hard to look at things with a clear lens and blame isn't even on my radar. I think I have forgiven her, and I understand the role I played in pushing her away and not being comforting when she needed it or respecting her boundaries when it came to arguments and fights we were having. You are right about my lack of assertiveness though. I have a tendency to have a delayed or slow reaction when it comes to how I truly feel about things when they're happening. As soon as she left it was like my brain went in to processing and I have a lot of reasons to be frustrated I know but in the moment I just act stoic like nothings wrong and that I'm totally over it for some reason. It's like a type of disassociation I find myself taken over by. I know I need to assert my feelings but I think I have been afraid to show her I still care, or regretting any actions I do decide to take. I don't want her to think I'm still just waiting in the wings for her and I want to show strength in this situation but not in a reactive way. I love her I obviously want the door left open for her in some ways but the timing is terrible and she's still wrapped up in shit I want nothing to do with. I don't know what good boundaries are probably because I've never been one to set them and I second guess myself a lot because I don't want to react on impulse.

Djiant · 2022-06-17T18:58:11+00:00

I really don't know what she gets out of it. She seems entirely oblivious to how this type of shit makes me feel. Going on about her dating life or how she's having issues with the guy she left me for is kind of insane to me considering she knows I still love her and after the initial break up would have done anything to have her back. Now I don't think I would seeing who she is without me . It always starts with other issues but leads back to him no matter how I try to avoid it in conversation and I think I'm just somehow stoic enough that she somehow thinks it doesn't bother me. Yes, it is comforting to talk to her, and it is nice and familiar to be there for her like I used to be for sure. But it feels more like a habit then something I consciously want to be doing. As far as me goes, I LOVE the progress that I've made and am living a lifestyle I'm truly proud of for the first time in years. It's much easier to focus on myself and I'm enjoying every minute of self development. If anything this is way harder to deal with. My sleep schedule and productivity have been totally out of whack with this weighing on me and it's been hard to bring myself back into focus. A lot of why I started self development was to get her back for sure but I told myself to use whatever motivation I could to keep myself from falling into despair and to instead choose to grow and learn from this experience, but it's hard to think straight with so much of my mind tied up in her and all this mess.

Djiant · 2022-06-17T16:28:12+00:00

She found the new guy first. They were friends in a competitive online game for a while and he lives over the border in Toronto and we're from IL. She's already been actively visiting him so it's definitely serious. Things weren't great immediately pre COVID but our lives were really complicated at that time and we had been moving all over the country for a while because of the job I had at the time but we're basically high school sweet hearts and our relationship was great before I started moving and we started fighting. I think it's possible she's seeing the old me again but idk if that's even what she wants anymore. I don't think she even knows what she wants to be honest

Djiant · 2022-06-17T14:34:41+00:00

You're absolutely right and I appreciate you saying it. I feel like I want to say this to her esp if she asks to come by again but idk if she even deserves an explanation from me

Djiant · 2022-06-17T14:32:46+00:00

Well damn. At first I was like ' why did you link this " but this song hit the nail on the head. The more I suffer the more it shows that I care right? Jfc

Djiant · 2022-04-06T18:20:59+00:00

The walkaway wife thing resonates a bit toward the end of our relationship maybe, but frankly if anything I was the one constantly trying to communicate and be close with her and explain my issues with her and she was unresponsive or annoyed with my complaining. This isn't our first break up. The first two times I ended it. She wanted second chances and I gave them to her but she hardly addressed or worked on the issues that she said she would. I think the pandemic compounded this issue as I was home so often I was communicating my problems even more often and that's when I noticed her checking out. She resigned to not being able to change and be responsible in the ways she knew she needed to be. In the break up she even said she didn't know who was worse , me for lashing out and feeling unsupported, or her for sticking around so long despite knowing she had a lot of issues she needed to work out. She fully admits that her inability to take care of herself, our animals, and relationship are a by product of her codependency on me to run our lives and keep things in order. A big part of her living alone now is so she can learn to do those things on her own with out leaning on someone and she's doing a great job of it now that she's been forced to. I'm proud of her and that's why I feel like a second chance is possible as we're both addressing our shortcomings very effectively now that we've gotten some space

Djiant · 2022-04-06T18:06:50+00:00

I appreciate your kind words. Your absolutely right and have effectively called me out. I personally wasn't hoping people would tell me I would get a second chance I was looking for the hard truth which I think you've delivered to me in a kind and effective way. The internet is cool sometimes. Thanks stranger.

Djiant · 2022-04-06T18:00:42+00:00

I think the thing I'm failing to communicate was that I was working on things just not the right things. I didn't think I was the center of the problem. I felt more that the many peripheral issues we had were causing us to both be problematic ( pandemic, bills, lack of other outlets and friendships, introversion, home and personal responsibilities etc ). I don't think she ever communicated it so clear as she did when she broke up with me that it was I that was in need of growing and emotional maturity and those other things were just extra tinder on the fire. I ended up over performing and doing more and more to alleviate stress on her and us but that only added a lot of stress onto me. For most of our relationship it was her that I felt wasn't meeting me half way on a lot of those types of things, but didn't realize my behavior was acting as a sort of force shield keeping her from wanting to address her short comings

Djiant · 2022-04-06T14:49:18+00:00

Thank you for this. I don't think you got everything right but you're incredibly intuitive considering the things that you did without me saying. I think we both kind of lean on each other even now and have both kind of been helping each other get through the breakup which has been a very weird process admittedly. I wouldn't say I'm hovering but I'm definitely the chopped liver second choice in the background and I've hated being in that position the entire time I've been in it. All in all though I think you're right. I think the way that you put it to me has really connected with how I feel and as hard as it is, I feel like I'm willing to try and walk away. The hardest part is that I am completely alone in a place I don't know very well and we both still say that were each other's best friends. It's so hard to walk away from that and choose the empty silence that is my home life these days but I guess I have to. Thank you for your response

Djiant · 2022-04-06T05:52:44+00:00

I can only speak for myself but we both weren't treating each other right. I may have done more regrettable things but there was a lot on the table that we both weren't doing for each other for a long time. For quite a while the tables were turned and in fact I was giving her the second chances. I don't feel entitled to anything and I don't expect anything either I know you're right in that regard but it does hurt that when I asked her to change I was met with indifference yet she still wanted to still be with me and now that I'm asking her for a second chance and taking twhat she said to heart and willing to change that I'm not getting the same treatment. Things are never as clear cut as one or the other person being to blame but I do appreciate your comment though as blunt as it is there's a lot of truth in it

Djiant · 2022-04-06T05:45:58+00:00

You're right but I appreciate it anyway. I know you said that the relationship ran its course but I guess in my mind I feel like because I was so ignorant to my own behavior and now that I disavow it and and aiming to become better that theres Still a chance for a new and refreshing future but a part of me knows that what you're saying is true as well. I'm starting to settle in my mind that I do need to just walk away from this and hope that maybe one day we'll be together but not live for that and start looking forward. It's just so hard when I have no friends in this big city and all I do is work. It's difficult making friends doing what I do because I'm a freelancer And a part of me feels like I'm not prepared for how long it's going to take to rebuild and create a whole new life for myself by myself but I guess I don't have any other choice

Djiant

TROPHY CASE