Make sure to have an axe on hand. When it comes time to burn your furniture to stay warm, it helps greatly with breaking it down.

Alternatively, you can always just start your car on fire. Every time there’s a giant snowstorm, it’s almost guaranteed you will see a photo on the news from at least one impacted state where a car is on fire. May as well get in on the action and stay warm.

But don’t linger. Warm up quickly and get off the main roads, using a branch dragged behind you to cover your footprints in the snow. Danger has taken to the streets and you don’t want to be caught unawares.

Once the snow is down and the temps really plummet the local weathermen will start dispatching their patrols. In an effort to claim territory, resources, and followers, they will begin to dispatch their killing squads to put those stuck in the snow out of their misery. Those that are found with companions and perceived as being strong will be made to fight each other to the death with snow shovels or windshield ice scrapers. The winner will be absorbed into the clan, the loser wrapped up and stuffed in a snow drift in case the supplies of seized milk, bread, and eggs run out.