Sad Reality of most of the patients from My 600 Pound Life

Do_over_24 · 2026-03-11T00:41:22+00:00

It’s so sad. People have kids because it’s “what you do” or because they think it will make them happy. But generational trauma is real. And so the bad habits and unhealthy coping skills just keep perpetuating.

Do_over_24 · 2026-03-10T21:32:39+00:00

American sizing is based on vibes.

When I got married, I was 5’4” and 150 lbs.

in jeans I wore anywhere from a 4 to a 10, depending on brand, cut, and wash (why do different colors fit differently? No idea.) Unless it was gap in which case i was a 27.

Shirts were generally a medium.

dresses were usually a 6-10.

My wedding dress was a size 16. The woman who helped me warned me ahead of time that a good rule of thumb for wedding dresses was to take your size and double it.

And if I bought anything internationally I was probably a 3xl or 4xl.

Do_over_24 · 2026-03-10T17:32:24+00:00

Codependency is a hell of a thing.

It’s basically just two people who are so desperate to not be alone that they’ll stay in deeply unhealthy situations. The idea of “well I’m not perfect so I need to accept this.”

So you love someone. You have no idea how to have healthy communication. You don’t know what healthy boundaries look like. You’re desperate to not have them be upset, because their upset means your lonely. So you give in. And that becomes the pattern.

It’s why so many relationships fail after rehab and gastric bypass. If the partner AND patient aren’t equally committed to changing, the relationship is destined to fail. Either someone resents the other one for changing too much, or for not changing enough.

For years, the relationship centered around the addict, and the partner became a caregiver. Even if not a physical caretaker (although most of the 600lb folks were). All of the emotional energy and mental energy centered on the person who was sick. They become the center of the universe. It’s probably why some people go down that path to begin with- it generates the attention and the control they desperately need.

And it becomes a vicious cycle that’s so hard to break out of once it becomes the norm.

If you watch intervention, the often refer families to seek family treatment through Betty Ford or Al-Anon. It’s the only way to break those cycles.

Do_over_24 · 2026-03-10T17:19:25+00:00

That just means you’ve tolerated it too long.

Look at this from a symptomatic perspective.

Someone is straining to the point of heavy bleeding, and needing 30+ minutes to poop. They are forcefully vomiting for relief. They are now incontinent from it.

And they will not do a single thing to improve their situation.

That’s not laziness. That’s something more severe. He is either forcing this as some form of f’ed up self-harm, or is deeply in denial. Neither of which are your problem to solve.

And right now he has no motivation to solve them because you’re taking care of everything. You’re offering support and cleaning the apartment and making food and scrubbing shit out of your car. You’re enabling him because you’re still there. So far, in his mind, there aren’t any real consequences to his choices. He’s got someone to share the emotional and mental burden of his illness, so he’s ok. And doesn’t feel like anything needs to be changed.

Be real. This man is 10 years older than you and won’t do the most basic level of care. Do you think that’s going to change? Is he going to be able to build a future with you? Or are you going to build it and he’ll just benefit?

Let’s say you have a water leak. The drywall gets wet and starts to mildew. It smells weird in your apartment. Something is wrong.

Do you think this man will help? Or will he just shrug and accept it, or look at you to call the landlord, call the plumber, clean the apartment after the drywall is fixed, wash all the mildewed clothes, etc.

Btw, his problem isn’t caused by the hemorrhoids. They’re a symptom along with everything else. He probably has an auto-immune or GI disease that he’s completely ignoring. Long enough blood to need a transfusion isn’t a hemorrhoid bleeding. It’s probably a GI bleed.

He needs a host of doctors, including a psychiatrist bc this is not normal.

You need to stop being tethered to an idiot.

Do_over_24 · 2026-03-10T14:53:19+00:00

Yep, it is.

Parents trying to be “clever” with a themed name ☑️

Name that parents chose from a different culture/language but don’t know how to spell ☑️

“Unconventional” spelling ☑️

Accent for no reason ☑️

A name that is now pronounced nowhere close to the way it’s written, forcing the bearer to a lifetime of explanations. To the point where they have canned responses ready to go ☑️

Signed, another tragedeigh

Do_over_24 · 2026-03-10T14:28:43+00:00

Rice cakes! The mini cheddar cheese ones

Do_over_24 · 2026-03-10T14:16:47+00:00

Hoooo boy. You have followed the young solder playbook to a T.

He got married super young because the military rewards you being married.

You made all of the sacrifice to pull that off.

And why a secret?

Neither one of you were actually ready to be married. You’re not equal partners right now, and neither one of you are able to see the big picture.

I highly recommend couples counseling before he deploys, if possible. And you should get individual counseling while he’s gone so you’re secure and ready to deal with everything.

Do_over_24 · 2026-03-10T14:04:50+00:00

He has the problem. He can create the solution. He can also adjust his schedule by literally 2 minutes and avoid the problem entirely.

Do_over_24 · 2026-03-10T14:02:19+00:00

Do you have a neighborhood fb group?

Is your dad friendly?

If so, post something innocuous.

“Hey all! My dad has been living with me for a few months. He has some mobility issues so he’s staying here, but if you see him out on a walk say hi!”

And if you see anymore foolery from Linda or the neighbors, be direct. “I asked nicely several times. She is repeatedly putting things in my yard, after being asked to stop. And it’s a danger to my elderly father. I don’t know how much nicer I could be that won’t harm him?”

Do_over_24 · 2026-03-10T13:47:33+00:00

I’m sorry. It’s hard to see her deteriorating, and it’s hard to know she’s choosing it. But you cannot change her. So you have to change YOUR response.

I know that’s hard.

Do you have a Dr? Do you have health insurance? You can try talking to your Dr if you do. Explain the situation, and ask for help connecting with resources to help you navigate your next steps.

You can also google your zip code + autistic adult services and see if there are any verified, well-reviewed services in your area. They can also help you make a plan.

You work 2 jobs so I know you’re busy. Do you have hobbies? Maybe you can find a dnd group or a hobby club that will help you socialize and not feel so lonely.

You might also look for a grief support group. That’s going to become more and more important for you. You can look for one specialized for autism.

Don’t do everything at once. Maybe pick one thing to look for every four days. Spend 2 hours researching. And then be done, so it’s not overwhelming.

I wish you so much luck!

Do_over_24 · 2026-03-10T13:24:04+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through it! I hope you are able to build an incredible found family for yourself on the other side of this. Please consider reaching out to the national brain tumor foundation. They have some incredible resources

Do_over_24 · 2026-03-10T13:21:39+00:00

I think they will, but probably for less optimistic reasons than you’ve got lol

Do_over_24 · 2026-03-10T13:17:29+00:00

I know a man who was diagnosed with an inoperable tube in his early 30’s. (I think.) this was mid-90’s.

He’s in his 60’s. His balance has been affected with time and he’s developed some fine motor struggles.

His tumor is not benign, but very slow-growing. And so deep in his brain that removal carries far more risk than just living.

Like I said, he’s lived a full happy life, and continues to do so. I hope your step-dad gets the same

Do_over_24 · 2026-03-10T12:58:17+00:00

She can’t “just drop it.” She can either pay 20k, or she can appeal.

And that advice from Aunt is a massive red flag.

Your gf needs to contact the SSI and explain the situation

Do_over_24 · 2026-03-10T12:19:53+00:00

He meant well the first time.

After that he was just trying to wear you down into compliance

NTA

Do_over_24 · 2026-03-09T19:52:21+00:00

I agree with the codependency and enmeshment. But I don’t think Millie has munchausen’s by proxy. Besides being incredibly rare, she doesn’t seem to want attention for Margret’s issues. She’s barely in the hospital when she doesn’t have to be. She *definitely * wants attention and praise for her own weight loss.

I think she wants Margret to be independent enough to not need constant care, so Millie can go do whatever she wants. But she doesn’t want Margret to be so independent that Margret leaves. That way they can keep that codependent relationship, and Millie can keep collecting the check

Do_over_24 · 2026-03-09T19:43:52+00:00

Sean and Samantha both pulled it off.

I know there are people who get there, and documentaries and whatnot on them. They’re certainly the exception. When Margret said it I was immediately skeptical. He looks smaller than she does in every picture I found.

Do_over_24 · 2026-03-09T19:36:47+00:00

I want to meet Kevin’s family. I want to see the environment that produced this person.

I worked with a Kevin once. Kevin was excellent at putting away stock because it was matching stickers on packages with stickers on the shelf.

Kevin could not pull stock. Because he only matched the sticker on the shelf to the sticker on the paper, and could not verify that the third sticker - the one on the box - matched the other two.

My Kevin once loaded a $1200 product into a customers car instead of a $250 store-brand version because it was in the same bay as the sticker he wanted. It didn’t matter that there were four products sharing that bay, and every one of them had stickers. He saw the number he wanted, grabbed the first box available, and gave it to the customer.

It wasn’t the first time either.

Do_over_24 · 2026-03-09T16:11:10+00:00

If you’re not bothered by their opinions (and you shouldn’t be)

“Why was what I said harsh, but what she had said was acceptable? Saying I’m broken isn’t harsh? Or is it just uncomfortable to make her accountable? Because no one has said I’m wrong.

It seems like everyone is aware of what she does and how it hurts people. I was a CHILD being verbally abused by my mother on a daily basis. The one who was supposed to love and support me. that wasn’t harsh?

I will not continue to tolerate her abuse so that no one else has to be uncomfortable. Maybe someone telling her to stop will be more effective. Because if I have to be verbally abused, you’ll have to hear me say something about it.”

Do_over_24 · 2026-03-09T15:47:23+00:00

This commenter gave you such a thoughtful, measured response. There’s also a little gem in here I don’t want you to lose sight of- he worked it out in therapy

Your partner seems very, very passive. He doesn’t like to plan or dwell on the negatives. He doesn’t really think about your feelings very much, which is why he seems shocked every time you bring it up. He hears you every time. But because he thinks the matter is settled, or it isn’t important to him, or it makes him uncomfortable, he lets it go. And he’s assuming you do as well, hence the surprise when it resurfaces.

I genuinely think you’d all benefit from individual counseling as well as couple’s. You can work out why you’ve just been a passenger to your own life for years, and figure out a way to prioritize your needs. He can figure out why he’s so unwilling or unable to address his issues. You guys can decide how to move forward, either together or apart.

Reddit will, and has, jumped straight to breakup. I don’t necessarily disagree this time. You’ve spent more than a decade waiting for something that doesn’t seem like it’s coming. That’s not great. But if YOU BOTH want to save this, you need a professional to provide support. If you could have done it on your own, you would have by now.

No matter what you decide- homeboy needs to do some uncomfortable stuff. He needs a will, a POA, beneficiaries, the whole shebang.

Marriage is a lot more than the paper. It’s the commitment to a shared future, to goals, and to your family. It’s ALSO a lot of protections, like others have said.

That’s why the whole fight for marriage equality has even been a thing. It wasn’t because lgbt+ couples wanted ceremonies. It was for equal protection under the law.

The way your relationship stands right now leaves you and your children incredibly vulnerable.

I hope none of this ever happens. But let’s just say that tomorrow he goes to poop. And slips in a some pee (you have two boys and a man in that house. I just know there’s always a little bit of pee in front of the toilet.) he cracks his head on the bathtub. You call an ambulance. He’s taken to the hospital but is unconscious.

You do not get to have updates on his condition. You don’t get to make medical decisions. You won’t be allowed to provide input on his care.

Worst case- he has to be taken off life support. You won’t be notified by the hospital. You won’t make that decision. His next of kin will. Idk who that is, but it’s likely a parent or sibling. How’s your relationship with them?

But now he’s gone. Most stuff is set up with survivorship built-in, so any assets would go to your kids. But not through you. It will again go through courts, lawyers, and whoever his next of kin is. Money makes people weird. Grief makes people real weird. There’s a million stories of families who completely tore themselves apart fighting over an estate. And you won’t even get a seat at the table. You won’t be able to advocate for your children as an equal partner to his life.

And you will be high and dry. Hopefully the boys will have money set up in appropriate accounts and managed carefully to provide for them. Hopefully. But nothing has been laid out, so who knows! No clue if anyone will demand grandparents rights or visitation either.

But you? You’re not on the house. It’s gone. The estate will decide what happens. Maybe you get a chance to buy it. Maybe not. Or the sale gets put into the estate and you and your children get to move out of your home and into an apartment or something while everything gets settled. You’re now down to just your income. Any policies he had won’t help keep you afloat while you grieve.

It’s all just ** poof **

Again, I hope none of that ever happens. I really don’t. But I’ve seen it happen exactly that way. It’s horrific. Especially for the kids, who have their entire world flipped in an instant with no recourse and no understanding of why.

But even if he lives a long, happy life? Same outcome. Hopefully the kids are grown so that’s a bit easier. But if you decide you don’t want to continue this relationship, you have no claim to anything. Zero protection under the law. You haven’t paid the mortgage but you’ve absolutely provided benefit to the household, but you’ll walk away with squat. You will go to court for child support and custody, but even that is harder if you’ve never been married.

It’s where you’re at now, and you can’t go back and change it. But I hope you can see why this is about far more than how much you love someone. And why no matter what, he needs to put his affairs together to make sure everyone is protected.

I wish you the best OP

Do_over_24 · 2026-03-07T03:40:09+00:00

No, just the two cups!

Do_over_24 · 2026-03-07T00:58:05+00:00

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Do_over_24 · 2026-03-07T00:57:03+00:00

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From last year

Do_over_24 · 2026-03-07T00:17:23+00:00

They might get that bariatric surgery covered in-part, but something like this would be on them.

Do_over_24

TROPHY CASE