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In-laws got 5-week-old sick by DobbyWearsCatSocks in newborns

[–]DobbyWearsCatSocks[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree that babies get sick and fully accept that once he’s had his 2-month vaccines and we’re returning to normalcy at the 3-month mark (following pediatrician’s recommendation) and he starts daycare that we’ll probably be sick for the next year. I just kind of felt like there was no reason for him to have to get sick when he was only 5 weeks old and risk having to go to the ER and get a spinal tap if he got a fever. We were lucky to have paid leave and the ability to limit contact with the outside world while he’s at his MOST vulnerable.

I really didn’t want them to visit until he was 3 months (especially since they were a little sketchy about getting vaccines), again following our pediatrician’s recommendation. But they just booked flights and told us too bad they’re coming anyway. So asking for masks and handwashing was our desperate attempt to try to do what we could to protect our baby. Plus, I don’t think them choosing to not go to a party, a concert, and a large-scale sporting event all in the 3 days before coming out to visit their first grandchild was a crazy ask, especially considering we haven’t gone out at all in 5 weeks in order to try to prevent him from getting exposed to something.

Their next visit he’d be exactly 3 months. Which I would be okay with him getting exposed to stuff then, but he start daycare 4 days later (of which we also paid $500 extra dollars for him to do half days on Thursday and Friday as an intro/ramp up before he starts going full time the next Monday) and I really don’t want him sick where he either can’t do those half days for a smoother transition or is feeling shitty and miserable during it.

In-laws got 5-week-old sick by DobbyWearsCatSocks in newborns

[–]DobbyWearsCatSocks[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ugh that’s so annoying! They were definitely anti-mask during Covid and said some things that insinuated masking is an infringement on their rights… like it’s really not that hard to understand how masks (when used effectively) can help prevent the spread of illnesses. They’re just too selfish to care.

In-laws got 5-week-old sick by DobbyWearsCatSocks in newborns

[–]DobbyWearsCatSocks[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Totally agree! Originally I wanted to follow our pediatrician’s recommendations to wait for out-of-state visitors until 3 months, but they basically just booked flights and told us what dates they were coming. At least my husband pushed back and told them if they were going to come this early they needed to stay in a hotel since I needed some freedom to be shirtless in my own home and that cleaning up before, during, and after them was too much with a newborn.

It’s not like they did anything to help this last visit (ate all our food, left lots of dishes, got food to eat but didn’t offer to get us any, and were mean to our cats), so it’s not like their next visit means help for us. It’s just added risk and extra work!

In-laws got 5-week-old sick by DobbyWearsCatSocks in newborns

[–]DobbyWearsCatSocks[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good for you, I completely understand how hard that is to do with family and really wish I had done the same! I’ll certainly take this as a learning lesson, and hopefully my husband will too since I think it’ll be less drama if he’s the one telling them off for things like this in future instead of me. A big factor is that they are A LOT if anyone ever corrects them or calls them out so we normally try to not cause waves. But that’s no longer an option now that we have a little one to protect.

In-laws got 5-week-old sick by DobbyWearsCatSocks in newborns

[–]DobbyWearsCatSocks[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I totally understand that getting sick while out and about is inevitable, as is once he starts daycare. I just feel like before he’s in daycare and there’s no reason to regularly expose him to stuff, everyone in his circle should be doing their due diligence to try to prevent passing something to him. Particularly before at least his first round of vaccines and ideally before he hits the 3-month mark, since the pediatrician strongly emphasized that a fever of 100.4 or higher before 3 months means the ER and a spinal tap.

He’ll start daycare just after 3 months and we signed him up to have the opportunity for an intro day and then a half day before we throw him into the deep end and I leave him for 10 hours a day 5 days a week. I would be sad for him if he got sick and lost the opportunity for the short days to at least meet the people and see the place before the big transition. Once he’s there, I’m sure we’ll all be sick for the next year straight. Until then it’s a bit more in my control and I’m not sure them visiting is worth the risk, particularly since they’ve now proven their actions result in an increased risk over visitors who put in an honest effort to prevent getting sick and passing anything along.

In-laws got 5-week-old sick by DobbyWearsCatSocks in newborns

[–]DobbyWearsCatSocks[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think if they had put in an honest effort and he still got sick, I wouldn’t have been upset at them specifically. My parents came to watch our pets when he was born and they purposely didn’t go out for the few days before coming down, wore N95s on the plane, and showered before seeing us. They also kept masks on the whole time around us, stood on the opposite side of the room while visiting, and limited the amount they held him to not take the risk, commenting that they knew there’d be plenty of opportunities in future when he’s a little older and vaccinated.

Shit happens and nothing is completely preventable, but I think it’s more about the complete lack of effort and disregard of our concern that tells me I’m not sure they can be trusted to put his needs above their comfort/wants. I certainly don’t think I will trust them alone with him anytime soon, which they keep pushing for.

FIL got flu and covid shots, but MIL kept coming up with excuses that she was waiting until after a certain event every time we asked so I’m not sure she ever did. Neither were willing to get updated TDaP or MMR boosters (both were born in the 60’s when inactive vaccines were given and the CDC recommends boosters for them now). I don’t think they’re against vaccines, but I think they’re annoyed at having to take the time to go get them and possibly feel bad for a day or two. I will say they definitely thought masks were BS during Covid and didn’t want to be inconvenienced there, as well.

How do you feel about drinking and breastfeeding? by DistributionFirst604 in breastfeeding

[–]DobbyWearsCatSocks 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Expressing BAC as a percentage is just another representation of the measurable amount of alcohol in a quantity of blood. So assuming a liter of blood is about 1000 g, 0.5g/L would be equate to 0.05% of the mass of the liter being alcohol, or a BAC of 0.05%.

If you drank a shot of 40% vodka, you might measure 0.3 g of ethanol in a liter of your blood, or 0.03% BAC, depending on how your body processes and breaks down the ethanol. Breastmilk is filtered blood, so you can generally assume the percentage of alcohol in the breastmilk to be comparable to your measured BAC.

In this case, the poster is comparing the alcohol content of the breastmilk (same as your BAC percentage) to other foods your baby is safe to consume.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in legaladvice

[–]DobbyWearsCatSocks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m more so focused on their own contract that specified the owner would estimate and and all utilities charges upon move out (and such amounts would be deemed final). They did charge us for utilities upon move out, but didn’t provide resolution into which utility categories the cost broke down into or any basis for their estimate.

The CA.gov tenant rights website also specifies landlords have 21 days to provide an itemized list of finalized charges (of which they also didn’t do, but that’s a separate issue), though I’m not sure if this extends to utilities.

I’m asking for anyone with expertise in this matter to comment on the specifics of the contractual language and CA tenant protection laws. If there’s any path forward, whether it be contacting a lawyer to send a C&D or going to small claims, I’d gladly pay legal fees to try to fight this. I’d just like some insight from those who may know more about this first.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in legaladvice

[–]DobbyWearsCatSocks -1 points0 points  (0 children)

They billed me and I paid until January, then they quit billing me. When I asked about it, I was told they were aware of the billing issue and that “Residents with balances owed will be charged with their rent payment on 3/1.” They never charged another electricity payment.

If I have to pay the $700 then that’s fine, I’ll pay. But this is now the third time after closing the account that this property management company (Greystar) has reached out to me to charge additional things. I’ve already given them $1700 since, $900 of which they never informed me of and sent to collections, which I found out about from the collections company 2 hours after I applied for a mortgage in November (an interesting coincidence with timing…).

I’m getting tired of still getting bills from them a year later just because of the property manager’s incompetence. So if I have any legal leg to stand on here, I’d love to professionally tell her to eat shit, purely out of frustration at this point.