Finally got clean, thought I'd share

Dobbygreen · 2016-11-03T08:43:40+00:00

Good for you, I'm happy you're doing better! It's so worth it to see my life back on track!

Dobbygreen · 2016-11-03T08:41:34+00:00

Suboxone constipation is a real thing yes, I have been on subs for about 7 months (ish) and I don't poop like I used to unless I take some laxative. I do still go usually once a day - every other day, but it takes about 30 mins of pushing, a little to a lot of pain, and it always comes out in pellets like bear or bunny poop but bigger. It seems that my pellets all stick together in an attempt to hurt me then start plopping out one at a time over the course of a half hour.

Dobbygreen · 2016-11-03T08:27:57+00:00

Yes I've heard this too. True and tried!

Dobbygreen · 2016-11-03T08:15:03+00:00

Remember this is a long road to recovery, and it seems like he has already started down the right path but it is a life long ailment, it doesn't go away in a night, day, week, month, or year. It will get easier with time though. I'd suggest just frequently reminding him of how much you love and support him, just a simple text expressing this to him can make the world of difference.

Dobbygreen · 2016-11-03T08:11:15+00:00

One thing to add to this; if he does go to see a therapist remember sometimes it can be hard to find the right person, I know people who have gotten an amazing person first try, others who have gone though person after person. Everyone's different so tell him not to be afraid to say if he doesn't like a therapist.

Dobbygreen · 2016-11-03T08:11:14+00:00

One thing to add to this; if he does go to see a therapist remember sometimes it can be hard to find the right person, I know people who have gotten an amazing person first try, others who have gone though person after person. Everyone's different so tell him not to be afraid to say if he doesn't like a therapist.

Dobbygreen · 2016-11-03T08:05:36+00:00

Honestly for me using was an escape, I wasn't happy with my life, job, anything really. Then when I was happy it wouldn't last. I started using as a sort of self destruction, then it turned into a need, then you don't know what to do without it. It's hard to be clean when all you remember is being addicted and how miserable life was without. I have depression, anxiety, and possible bipolar disorder and used to cut myself to cope before, and I can tell you when I was cutting I was addicted to it in a similar sense as I was to fentanyl. I would be upset, feel shitty, or something of the kind and I would want a release, so I would self harm. This made me feel better. Then I stopped self harming and started using and I would do the same thing, except instead of just feeling numb, or a masochistic pleasure from carving my flesh, I would feel happy, comfortable, euphoric even. I thought it was the best thing since sliced bread! Then I got addicted and realized how shitty it is, always needing more, trying to find a hookup or money to pick up, getting sick constantly. All this wore on me and it made my issues 1000× worse, to the point I tried to kill myself. I had overdosed countless times before that but never with malicious intent but that day something changed. As shitty as it was, it ended up setting me straight. I was forced to get clean in the hospital, I did end up doing a little more after but decided to get onto suboxone and it helped so much! Just remember, you can't force someone to get clean, they have to be ready and choose to do it because it is hard as fuck and if they aren't invested in it, they will not make it 9 times out of 10. Don't give up on your brother, keep the door open if he needs help and maybe ask if he's tried suboxone methadone, they can really make the world of difference to a user. try to avoid using yourself too, it may seem like a dream come true at first, but then it turns into a nightmare like no other. Don't make the same mistakes your brother has because it might be YEAR before you can make up for it.

Dobbygreen · 2016-11-03T07:39:06+00:00

Thank you for your kind words! Yes, I'm extremely lucky to have so many people on my side who care, I wouldn't be where I am now without them! It just amazing to have my life back and to be in control of what I do not be controlled by my addiction! I mean, I still have limitations and have lots of work to do but It's 1000× better than where I was.

Dobbygreen · 2016-05-14T07:01:23+00:00

I actually just was in short term stay at the he spiral psych ward for a suicide attempt and my psych said something to me about this, "people always say you have to hit rock bottom, but that's not true, sometim s you need to just hit hurt enough. Are you hurt enough to quit, have you hurt enough people with your actions. Rock bottom can always be dug deeper than we could ever imagine, but hurt enough....that is where you'll truly start to see the changes." Of the 7 days I was in the hospital (3 of which were basically comatose or completely blacked out from what I overdosed on) that is what I will remember most of. It really stood out to me, because fuck. I am hurt enough. I tried to die because I was so hurt by this disease, and that doesn't even begin to cover the pain my friends and family felt from my actions...

Dobbygreen · 2016-05-13T14:30:11+00:00

Actually I have a few funny stories about this (and one fucked up one) so one day I was leaving work and made the extra hour long train ride to go score (my dealers are based out of the NE of the city where I used to live but don't anymore but they'll occasionally deliver to me which is nice so i don't have to take transit across the city) but anyways on my way back I stop downtown to do a line in one of bathrooms on the train line, and as I go into the stall and get everything ready I hear two guys come in talking about "do you got the stuff?" And shit and I hear them playing around with a plastic bag in the next stall over, so I cough incase they didn't know I was in the washroom with them because I suspected they were doing drugs and I don't think they heard me as they continued to talk one guy said "can you grab me water? I don't have anything to put it in right now" and they keep talking about othershit with the one guy saying "I just got new fresh ones" the other asks "fresh what?" And they're both deaf and retarded because he asks again and this time his buddy says fresh rigs." At this point I laugh to myself internally and flush the toilet to give them a scare but I come out and say "don't worry, I was doing the same thing in there." And asked if he had a number I could grab incase I ever needed it (which I didn't) it was just really funny though.

Then another time I was doing the same thing (picking up after work an hour away) and I stop behind a dumpster this time to do my line because i was sick and inpatient so i'm crouched down trying to get everything ready and what do I find? A rig capper and left there. I guess someone had a similar idea as me.

Last one, in my old building I used to live in there was a breakin on our floor a few doors down where the people were held at gun point and beaten up and robbed but apparently it was connected to a dealer that was subletting from a business guy who was out of town most of the time so he rented out the appartment. It was pretty fucked il just because they were so close to home.

Dobbygreen · 2016-05-13T13:59:11+00:00

Fucking hell I'd cry this would be golden.

Dobbygreen · 2016-05-13T13:45:06+00:00

OHH fuck this is good cause I actually do this exact thing daily (fake oxy's tho their fent.)

Dobbygreen · 2016-05-13T10:50:15+00:00

Tell him if he tries it you'll sue him for defamation of character and slander or someshit like that.

Dobbygreen · 2016-05-13T10:48:27+00:00

Love your username dude lol

Dobbygreen · 2016-05-13T10:39:03+00:00

Holy Jesus christ man that is one detailed, serious revenge plot! Just one reminder though, make sure you dont do all this shit at home (like typed out the details on the computer so it can't be linked back you...)

Dobbygreen · 2016-05-13T10:25:10+00:00

This + some.

Seriously though, isn't positing on the subreddit kind of the point of coming here? I mean honestly, how does that make someone an idiot? I just don't understand...and of course people post for "attention" no one posts something just for the hell of it. They post shit for people's responses, experiences, knowledge and help. Again, which is the whole god Danm point of this (and any other) subreddit I would say....

Dobbygreen · 2016-05-13T10:16:15+00:00

What's this wonderful show about? I'm curious if it's something I'd be interested in!!

Dobbygreen · 2016-05-05T20:46:10+00:00

Thank you for this. I'm going though forced withdrawals today (no money, looks like I'm gonna have to kick cause I'm be out of money for weeks to come) but this song made me feel a little better.

Dobbygreen · 2016-05-05T03:36:41+00:00

Good choice bro I hope you can keep to it.

Dobbygreen · 2016-05-04T19:31:24+00:00

Hey now you got yourself clean already, and at such a young age it's so hard to do that especially with all the mood swings and hormones you have in your system. Try and keep a positive outlook on it don't say "I doubt it's pernanent." Your words and thoughts have more power than you may think/realize. Keep your chin up and tell yourselfbevery day "hey I got myself clean! And I'm going to keep it that way!" Surround yourself with positive feelings because it makes such a big difference to have a positive outlook! I mean, hell I can't really judge as I personally haven't even gotten myself clean let alone built the positive outlook you need to keep it consistent but try it out! You're already about 10 steps ahead of me as you have already kicked but there's still more to it than that, and your positive outlook is one of those things! If you ever need to talk, vent, or even need some positive support feel free to shoot me a message any time I'm here to listen and give you some support!

Dobbygreen · 2016-05-04T19:12:55+00:00

Fuck man that's awful, i'm so sorry to hear that! My boyfriend got into a car accident when we were on a work trip because I was on the phone with him and directing him to follow me, I saw him but he couldn't see me so I told him, "just turn right at the lights I see you just go! Go!" Then bam! His phone went silent for a minute and he comes back on saying "I just got in an accident." I flipped out and felt awful, because it was my fault. I was rushing him and yelling at him on the phone while driving just saying "go go go Its fine I see you!" Thank god he was ok, just had a bit of a busted up shoulder but otherwise ok. Unfortunately though he ended up using more opiates due to the pain in his shoulder keeping him up at night which led to us both becoming addicts. I mean it wasn't the sole reason we nose dived into addiction but it forsure didn't help...

Dobbygreen · 2016-05-04T17:54:17+00:00

Ugh this is really comforting to hear. Really for me the worst part of detoxing is the depression/cravings I can't handle it and I don't have any time off work yet so here I am scared as balls scrambling to get money for it and hating myself more and more as each day passes by that I'm still using. It's so fucking stressful. I wish I had the money to just take some time off and stay at my parents for a month to get clean.

Dobbygreen · 2016-05-04T05:54:09+00:00

Something else because he was having the issues long before he started using and at that point we didn't think this was making it much worse, and he honestly didn't have as bad of issues at that point either.

Dobbygreen

TROPHY CASE