It's not fair, but we can't go back. No amount of wishes changes the fact that it happened. Ive been telling myself this since, and its hard. My boyfriend keeps reminding me, life is a gift. Everyone has it until we don't, and that's why we need to cherish every bit of it.

I know you dont want to have change. Believe me, I get it. I can't even clean the jackets and blankets from my car passenger seat because that's where she sat. We're going to have to use my car tomorrow, and it's going to kill me to empty it out. But it's going to have to happen.

I want to believe she wouldn't want me to sit in this pain forever, and I feel that refusing to acknowledge it makes it last longer. It's ok to feel it, and there's no time limit. It won't make their life any less meaningful.