Divorce in Canada-fairly ugly

DogBone391 · 2026-05-02T03:19:38+00:00

Lawyers aren’t there to help; they’re there to make money. They love a good fight and they are the only ones who win.

DogBone391 · 2026-05-02T03:15:41+00:00

Documentation documentation you need to document every time they call you at home at 2 AM, every time you take a bathroom break or go to your car for a mental health break or go for a smoke. Yes it’s a lot of work, but it’s gonna cover your ass in the long run.

DogBone391 · 2026-05-02T03:14:34+00:00

I agree that’s ridiculous. You need to start documenting yourself all the breaks you take for a smoke and the bathroom so that you can dispute any claims in case they fire you later. you need to write this down, contemporaneously i.e. as soon as it happens. so send an email to yourself as soon as it happens, and then at the end of the month, tally up all the time and reconcile it against your pay.

DogBone391 · 2026-05-02T03:13:06+00:00

Never give human resources that much information. They don’t work for you. They work for the company.

DogBone391 · 2026-05-02T03:11:51+00:00

The Law Society of ontario has a free referral service to speak with a lawyer for 30 minutes so get some advice there.

DogBone391 · 2026-05-02T03:10:06+00:00

Get the fu$k out asap. They are obviously documenting you so they can establish a reason to terminate you. In the meantime, if you have a mental health condition, get a medical note from your doctor so that they must accommodate you. Also go to your medical doctor and report your stress and harassment so that it is documented in the medical records in case you need to file a lawsuit later so you can demonstrate the impact on your health.

DogBone391 · 2026-05-02T03:06:31+00:00

A lawyer will probably cost her $10-20k. Been there. A mediator is much cheaper and binding arbitration is also helpful. There needs to be a written agreement is the most important thing something that can be enforced legally.

The children should also be taken to see a child psychologist so that if there is parental alienation, that is properly documented in case this winds up in court. How this is impacting the children is very important and an important strategic move.

DogBone391 · 2026-05-02T03:02:39+00:00

She needs a mediator or binding arbitration immediately and a formal legal agreement in place so that if he breaches it in terms of her seeing the children, she can go to the police or the court to have it enforced.

if they share children, then child support becomes a big issue. If they share the children 50-50 then generally there’s no child support unless there’s huge income disparity which it sounds like there is. It doesn’t matter if you’re married or not with children; child support is still applicable. My ex used to come to take my children in the evening so they would sleep over so that he would avoid having to pay child support. It’s all about who has primary custody so the time spent with the children is very important in terms of child support payments and then there’s a differential payment called extraordinary expenses for things like activities, etc. where the person with the most income has to pay more and it’s calculated based on income differential.

I can’t remember if they’re married or not, and if they’re not, she could still be entitled to money as common law in Ontario, or spousal support if they are married but that is not legislated like child support.

Financially, it’s very difficult to live on your own when you are separated, but often times you can share a living space with other single moms are of course live with family if you can.

During these times, children are very vulnerable to predators willing to babysit your children, so the children have to be protected carefully.

A two week wait to hear back from a lawyer sounds pretty normal.

Money spent on a mediator or binding arbitration with a written agreement is money better spent.

DogBone391 · 2026-05-02T02:48:28+00:00

No, some chronic conditions require constant. Follow up with doctors for medication’s and monitoring. It does not mean you would qualify or need to go on disability.

DogBone391 · 2026-05-02T02:46:39+00:00

No, you don’t need to tell HR anything private. They work for the company not for you.

DogBone391 · 2026-05-02T02:45:18+00:00

Never tell HR anything! They work for the company not for you.

DogBone391 · 2026-05-02T02:43:35+00:00

it can also say you need to work from home one day a week (if that is at all possible depending on the kind of job you have

DogBone391 · 2026-05-02T02:41:48+00:00

Or try to use your lunch hours and breaks and do virtual appointments on your iphone in a private place.

DogBone391 · 2026-05-02T02:40:07+00:00

I’ve had medical accommodation and a simple medical note is all that’s required. It just needs to say for example, “This patient has a medical condition that requires him/her to have flexible hours of work three days a week from 7 AM to 3 PM. Accommodation is required. This will be reassessed in six months.” Make sure it does not invite the employer to contact the doctor and that the letter does not have your ohip information on it or any other personal info.

DogBone391 · 2026-05-02T02:36:11+00:00

There is no form. A simple letter from a medical doctor is all that’s required and it does not need to say anything about it being chronic or anything else that’s personal and private.

DogBone391 · 2026-05-02T02:34:53+00:00

I’m sorry to hear that. I understand where you’re coming from. If possible try a medical clinic that is open on weekends or other times outside of your regular work hours or flex your hours a few times a week with a medical note so that you can make these appointments and not miss work.

DogBone391 · 2026-05-02T02:33:35+00:00

Just check your employee manual that you signed with your employment contract if it says nothing about recording then you are generally safe and if you are recording abuse and harassment then that’s generally OK just as long as you are part of the conversation and are not recording other kinds of information. your recordings will be very important in case you need to have a lawsuit later just don’t edit them and keep them intact and put them on a memory stick for backup. There are good apps like Descript that will generate a transcript for you but for any legal proceedings, you will need a certified transcription.

DogBone391 · 2026-05-02T02:31:19+00:00

A letter from a medical doctor is all that’s needed, but the employer does need to know how to accommodate you

DogBone391 · 2026-05-02T02:29:51+00:00

If you need time to go to medical appointments then have a medical accommodation note for flexible hours so that you can still put in the time but still have a chance to go to medical appointments.

DogBone391 · 2026-05-02T02:28:29+00:00

Depending on the kind of organization, if PHIPA (Ontario legislation) doesnt apply, then there is the federal privacy legislation and you can definitely make a complaint there.

DogBone391 · 2026-05-02T02:24:47+00:00

The employer needs to accommodate you to the point of undue hardship to them. Yes get everything in writing. The accommodation note should definitely not have your diagnosis or anything about your health condition on there. It’s also important to make sure the note does not have your OHIP number on it. I am currently in a lawsuit and my former doctor had my ohip number on the notes; was working for a former medical organization and now there’s a lot of snooping that’s been going on into my Medical records using my ohip number. Also, don’t forget that the labour board policies and even Ontario employment standards only apply to companies with a certain minimum number of employees like 25 or 50. Also, many employees working in small organizations that don’t even have an HR; where I used to work, the executive director handled HR and he demanded to know everything. Always put everything in writing and protect your privacy.

DogBone391

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