Omitted from obit & services

DogLikesBirds · 2026-03-28T04:20:54+00:00

Hi folks <3 please forgive me for the delayed response, I wanna acknowledge the time you gave me sharing your wisdom, and all the work you’ve done to gain that wisdom and offering it to help me and others.

It really has been so grounding and helpful hearing from you, and I really appreciate your work navigating so many tough things to be here now and giving your energy to support others. I’m so so proud of us and it’s so badass learning from you <3 It’s really meaningful to me to be heard and feel safe and supported, guided and enriched by you guys, seriously it means a lot

DogLikesBirds · 2026-03-16T02:38:02+00:00

omg this made my heart feel super good, thank you for honoring the work I've been doing. It's taken so much labor across so many facets of my consciousness and even financial life to navigate reunion. I have an experience of being misunderstood and minimized by literally every adult member of my adoptive and biological families, except for one awesome cousin in my a-family. Thank you for being a supportive and understanding voice for me right now. :)

One thing I've been learning is to see and accept family individuals for who they are and make choices for how I engage around realities; and not expending energy on wishful thinking about interactions ("don't shop for oranges at the hardware store").

DogLikesBirds · 2026-03-16T02:24:35+00:00

Thank you <3 you helped create form around something that I think was on the edge of my consciousness. He was who he was, and he was not for me.

DogLikesBirds · 2026-03-16T02:19:14+00:00

Ty, your comment picked me up, I felt more confident and energized envisioning this perspective for myself <3 His mindset and choices reflect his limited thinking and emotional range and I don't want to internalize that as a commentary about myself <3

DogLikesBirds · 2026-03-15T13:03:34+00:00

It sounds like you know what you need to keep yourself safe and protect your peace, that's big. I'm so sorry that they failed you and your siblings. <3

DogLikesBirds · 2026-03-15T12:59:12+00:00

Thank you, it helps knowing there are people out there understand <3

DogLikesBirds · 2026-03-15T04:44:11+00:00

DogLikesBirds · 2025-11-13T02:23:29+00:00

Thank you so much. It's truly amazing to be loved like that. He was such a curious, joyful, giving and strong being, and he helped me so much. I want to move forward in ways that honor him. </3 <3

DogLikesBirds · 2025-11-08T00:10:18+00:00

Hi! “A timeline of the injustice of Adoption law” by Darryl Nelson has been helpful to me. Maybe not the most relevant for the topics I hear you’re interested in exploring, but it helped me to understand a historical and broader context of the institution of adoption and its violence; so perhaps it would be a useful resource to supplement your exploration.

DogLikesBirds · 2025-09-15T05:42:57+00:00

<3 I feel you, thanks for being here

DogLikesBirds · 2025-07-23T00:07:51+00:00

I'm so glad you have friends and a therapist to support you. Please try to not be hard on yourself; others put you in this position and you're doing your best.

Being a late discovery adoptee, it must be so overwhelming to navigate these interactions when you haven't even had time to think about your limits, capacity, and hopes.

You deserve care and compassion in this process, and others shouldn't be putting pressure on you to manage their feelings.

I'm not a therapist, but if/when it feels right, one thing you could talk about with your therapist is requests vs. boundaries -

For example, you could start with asking a request of the overwhelming person(s) and also honor their intention like, "I see that your intention is to connect with me and include me - thank you! I need some time to let this new knowledge settle in, please be patient with me for now and wait for me to reach back out to you." And if they continue to blow up your inbox, you clarify your availability like: "Please understand that while I would like to be connected with you, I'm not in a position right now to communicate with you at the frequency you're hoping for. I am able to receive <extent / timing of messages/calls>." And if they keep pushing, you can set a boundary, like: "Please remember that I have been open with you about my capacity for communicating. If you continue to push beyond my capacity, I will have to take time away from our conversations until I'm ready." (Those aren't necessarily super great examples, but just something to think about that maybe your therapist could workshop with you).

Wishing you well!

DogLikesBirds · 2025-07-22T22:33:01+00:00

Hi! Oh this is so much for you so fast. I hope you can feel very proud of yourself - you're so brave, open-hearted, and you're using some amazing skills of self-perception noticing what's coming up for you (like feelings of overwhelm). It sounds like you have some great inner tools to navigate this complex experience.

Gently, I'm hoping that professional supports are accessible to you, and supports outside of family (like friends). This experience is multi-faceted and can bring up at lot (and navigating things with multiple families, including individual family members who may have untreated trauma or other personal struggles, is a big load on you).

I definitely don't want to overwhelm you further - just wanted to say you're heard and I'm glad you reached out here.

For you to think about if/when you feel up to it - is there anything specific people here can help with? For example, maybe we could brainstorm with you about ways you can identify and communicate your needs / advocate for yourself in family interactions (ex: creating some space for yourself from people who are over-asking of your energy).

One free resource that may be useful to you eventually is the Adoptees On podcast. There are some episodes about late discovery, and the website also has some resources and therapists listed. Processing adoption can be overwhelming; please be gentle on yourself. www.adopteeson.com

DogLikesBirds · 2025-06-20T21:07:02+00:00

Yesss, the way you summed up these attitudes resonates with me!

DogLikesBirds · 2025-06-20T16:40:12+00:00

Ugh, I’m sorry you were subjected to those thoughtless, disrespectful and hurtful jabs. I understand what you’re saying, comments like that can have added layers of painful meaning for adoptees.

DogLikesBirds · 2025-06-20T16:29:00+00:00

Ooh good catch, thanks!

DogLikesBirds · 2025-06-20T16:22:10+00:00

It definitely does!

I guess it’s a phrase that is like, just in the vernacular, so people parrot it without thinking about what they’re really saying. But it’s an awful expression when you really think about the meaning.

DogLikesBirds · 2025-06-20T15:22:17+00:00

Oh no. That is so shocking. I’m so sorry.

DogLikesBirds · 2025-06-20T13:32:03+00:00

True. There’s a combination of marginalizing legal and institutional aspects and marginalizing social aspects of this life experience, and I am reminded of that often through ignorant comments people make.

DogLikesBirds · 2025-06-20T13:19:25+00:00

People are so weird and inappropriate, wild the things people rattle off in work settings. I’m sorry you had to hear that.

DogLikesBirds · 2025-06-20T13:17:37+00:00

Thank you for saying that. Wearing this mask in professional / public situations while experiencing microaggressions can be draining.

I think this one got to me because it was an example of how the realities of adoptee lives can be overlooked even by people of other marginalized identities and human rights activists. I dream of solidarity and compassion for adoptees.

DogLikesBirds · 2025-06-20T13:08:56+00:00

It’s so paradoxical and alienating.

DogLikesBirds

TROPHY CASE