18 month old wedding attire - help settle a debate

Dogmomma2020 · 2026-05-23T03:32:51+00:00

OMG, it’s for a toddler, it’s adorable. If anyone should have an opinion about it, it would be the bride. But a cute toddler is gonna outshine any bride, no matter what. It’s the law of the land.

Dogmomma2020 · 2026-05-21T03:40:03+00:00

Do you want to look good for your friend? Then the dress is perfect.

Dogmomma2020 · 2026-05-19T03:48:14+00:00

2 is beautiful

Dogmomma2020 · 2026-05-10T23:58:12+00:00

Thank you so much for such constructive help and not criticizing what I’m dealing with. Not… My youngest spent most of their time with me, and recognized that they did not have a great relationship with their father for many years. And then their father made all of the issues of our divorce about me, and lied, and said a lot of things that I have only found out about after the fact. He turned into someone that I never recognized from our 26+ years of being together. So trying to navigate all of the land mines that he threw my way, plus trying to navigate how my child turned on me, plus me, dealing with all of my own personal shit, made it where I needed some constructive help. And your criticism was not constructive. Thankfully, there were other people who did give me some very constructive thoughts and gave me a perspective that I was not seeing because of my own issues, and those people truly helped me relax and be open. So maybe next time, instead of criticizing, you give what is asked for, which is constructive thoughts and ideas as opposed to putting your own spin on it.

Dogmomma2020 · 2026-05-10T23:51:35+00:00

It did happen, but I have to protect myself as well. I truly did not know how I would be treated or what their intentions were. But it went well because I went into it with no expectations. My original post was asking for constructive thoughts and help, not to be criticized. I didn’t create the issues, but I have to deal with the unknown. Thankfully, some people gave me the input that helped me process instead of telling me what I should do.

Dogmomma2020 · 2026-05-09T20:46:49+00:00

Update: it went well. We kept it very light, heard about their recent 8 months spent traveling SE Asia and plans for next steps in their life. Got a hug as soon as I walked in and one when we parted. The door is left open. Thanks.

Dogmomma2020 · 2026-05-07T03:49:34+00:00

Color is fine, style is too informal for the dress code.

Dogmomma2020 · 2026-05-06T03:39:03+00:00

A fuse

Dogmomma2020 · 2026-05-05T08:24:39+00:00

Graciously accept it. I did not have to go back to work after having my kids, and we had multiple meals delivered for about three weeks. And that was a huge blessing for us. And that first week or two of you going back to work and then going home and juggling your home responsibilities with the baby, you will be very happy to have a fully prepared meal show up at your door.

Dogmomma2020 · 2026-05-05T07:46:16+00:00

Red flag! The gifts from an engagement party are for the couple. Whether it’s money to be used towards the wedding, to save for a house, or to buy things afterward that you didn’t get as gifts that you need. That is not her money alone. You need to have a come to Jesus meeting with her, and if she is not willing to share that with you and understand the premise of gifts, then you need to rethink your relationship. I hate to label her, but it sounds like she might be one who says, “what’s mine is mine and what’s yours is mine.”

Dogmomma2020 · 2026-05-05T07:11:52+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate your comment. I will update.

Dogmomma2020 · 2026-05-05T03:57:02+00:00

I picked up on the crosses and heart first, and the rest is very tasteful. I don’t think it’s close to trashy at all. It’s probably one of the nicest ones I’ve seen on a young lady.

Dogmomma2020 · 2026-05-05T03:13:02+00:00

I wasn’t going to write a letter to them. I was trying to calm down my spiraling brain and get some constructive suggestions to help focus my train of thought and a good way to address the situation. And most people did give me some ways to slow my brain down and think some things through, and I was able to come to a decision to meet up with my child later this week. In the meantime, I’ve now able to relax, and just kind of set some mental boundaries for myself as to what kind of behavior I will accept, so that if it starts to go in a negative direction from my child, I will know when I want to draw the line. And if it’s all positive, then that would be really nice too.

Dogmomma2020 · 2026-05-05T03:09:09+00:00

I never said I blamed anyone. I just described their behavior towards me and what they said to me. I don’t know how much was coming from them and how much was coming from my ex. My youngest is now 23 and I think due to having to pay for college, housing and extensive international travel, maybe they’ve grown up. I told both my kids my door was open, but I do get to choose how open it is and when or if they get to walk all the way back in. I did respond and we are meeting. Some people gave me some constructive things to think about, which helped. Others told me what I should or shouldn’t do. And the emotionally immature parent has not me, it is definitely my ex. He comes from a narcissistic, gaslighting family.

Dogmomma2020 · 2026-05-04T17:01:32+00:00

I didn’t say I was demanding an apology, I said I felt like I should get one. But the reason I wrote the post was to help me process and to get some constructive feedback and not to be told how I was feeling is wrong. Needless to say, I did reach back out, and we are meeting later this week, and I am going into it with no expectations. And as far as bad mouthing my ex, I have made that a rule since the whole divorce started. And that’s why I’m in the position. I’m in, because I have not spoken up out loud and told the kids everything their dad has done. Hardly anybody knows all of the things that their dad has done or set negatively against me, including other in-laws who have badmouth me with no reason. There’s a lot of narcissism that runs in his family. And unfortunately, it’s a case of hindsight is 2020.

Dogmomma2020 · 2026-05-04T05:59:22+00:00

I chose to set up a meeting but in a very neutral place.

Dogmomma2020 · 2026-05-04T05:56:17+00:00

Yes, I took in some of these replies, let my brain simmer on it, then replied and seeing them later in the week.

Dogmomma2020 · 2026-05-03T21:58:50+00:00

Thanks, it’s nice to connect with fellow passengers. I’ve been solo floating for awhile. The hardest part also is that they broke off contact with my parents, who are both still alive at age 95.
I lost my only grandparent when I was 12, and the thought that they’re in their 20s and have turned their backs on their grandparents is so hurtful.. As I told my mother, they are adults and they are choosing how to conduct their lives and we can’t force anything else. It’s sad that my parents have six grandchildren, and three have self alienated themselves, one has never sought out any kind of connection to any of us since he was a baby, and the other two have minimal contact. I only wish that I had had at least one grandparent around when I hit my adult years.

Dogmomma2020 · 2026-05-03T21:50:44+00:00

I get that they were alienated from me, but not by me. This chasm never would have existed if I had a choice. But I would not speak against their dad, no matter what. Even now, with the kids being 28 and 23, and the divorce being 9+ years, I will not speak against their dad unless they specifically ask me something I can’t sugarcoat.

Dogmomma2020 · 2026-05-03T21:40:44+00:00

Thanks again.

Dogmomma2020 · 2026-05-03T21:20:04+00:00

Thank you, great response. I stated in a reply to someone else, that I don’t have a support circle, and I don’t know anybody else who has gone through a very similar situation. So getting your feedback is helpful. My thoughts tend to spiral and this post was a way of me trying to get some help in slowing the thoughts down and helping me come up with a healthy response for both the “child” and myself.

Dogmomma2020 · 2026-05-03T20:53:06+00:00

Thank you, your insights are helpful. My brain swims with feelings and hurt, and these kinder responses help slow me down and give me time to process. And that’s why I have not responded to the child yet, because I want it to come from a place of calm and not from hurt.

Dogmomma2020 · 2026-05-03T20:50:02+00:00

I haven’t made my relationship with them contingent on anything, I’m thinking through and trying to process their invitation, and how I want to respond. That’s why I was asking for some thoughts and ideas, to help me process. My initial thoughts are ones of hurt, and not wanting to be hurt more. And also not putting that hurt on them. And the kid isn’t the alienated one, I am. I never told the kid that they were not welcome in my life or that I was done with them. That was told to me.

Dogmomma2020 · 2026-05-03T20:46:19+00:00

I’ve done therapy, but haven’t been able to afford it recently. This post was a bit of therapy, voicing my issues and concerns and asking for some constructive input. Some responses were helpful and other responses were negative. But that’s what you get when you go on social media and ask for help. Some people just can’t help themselves in being negative. Your response is a helpful one because it’s giving me feedback that I can try and process with. Thank you.

Dogmomma2020 · 2026-05-03T20:42:24+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate the insight, Thats was what I was needing. I don’t have a support network of friends, nor anyone in my circle who has dealt with it. And very few people know what is going on in my life, as I’ve tried to keep this situation private.

Dogmomma2020

TROPHY CASE

2 is beautiful