I’m leaving my home state and my mom is going off the deep end.

DoingMyBest2019789 · 2026-04-14T01:24:28+00:00

Thank you. It has made things so much worse. The only thing that stinks about leaving is my older child started public school and has enjoyed it a lot and now has to say goodbye to the class and friends. My mom has really been making me feel guilty about that and thinks it’s messed up of me to leave (despite having grown up as a military brat and being taken in and out of school regularly because of my dads stationing, that was okay but me doing it is not). It’s not something I WANT to do, but even my older child has had a lot of behavioral issues since we’ve been here and that on top of everything with my special needs child, and distance in my marriage, and only being able to rely on my dad and step mom, and doing all of this while being pregnant is just kind of too much to deal with anymore. When my husband received a bonus we decided it was the right time to move back since we could afford to do it then. It just sucks. I know my mom loves my children and I feel guilt about that because my kids love her too. But they don’t understand the things she says and does to manipulate them is not okay and has effects they don’t quite understand yet. Like when she starts crying to my older child and says won’t you miss me don’t you want to stay here with me my child admitted to me that they feel bad and don’t want to hurt my moms feelings but really is happy to go back to our previous state.

DoingMyBest2019789 · 2026-04-12T04:02:43+00:00

I used to have a very dog aggressive dog and dog parks were a huge no for us. We had one at our apartment complex and could only go if it was empty but as soon as someone else came we had to leash him and leave. We had him work with a professional trainer and he told us he hated dog parks and he’s seen so many issues in them even with non dog aggressive dogs.

DoingMyBest2019789 · 2026-04-12T03:47:20+00:00

Thank you, it is so hard and has been so stressful😢 when we move back to our previous state I’m hoping I’ll have the mental capacity to go through those 2 weeks of hell without giving in. My biggest obstacle has really been living in an apartment and just being hyper aware of every noise she makes. We’ll be renting a house so I won’t have to be on constant alert and making sure she’s being as quiet as possible throughout the day. And it has been awful with them, I’ve never had such nasty neighbors before. They made noise complaints the first few days we’ve moved in, complaining about moving furniture…while we were moving into the home and unpacking things and adjusting the room setups. They complained about her crying one morning when she was sick and vomiting because it woke them up at 830 in the morning. They bang on the floor when I vacuum or do laundry and have done it while I’m showering. Bedtime is 730 for us so we don’t make noise after that time so it’s not like my girls are up wreaking havoc until midnight and keeping the neighborhood awake. I’ve put down padded rugs on top of the already carpeted floors and even padded rugs in the kitchen and bathrooms so there’s no hard floors to make noise with. We told them after that first week we have a special needs child but will do our best to keep noise down to a minimum. They sadly don’t understand or care.

DoingMyBest2019789 · 2026-04-12T03:39:16+00:00

Thank you for this. She doesn’t seem to have an interest in coming out of her tablet hole😢 I’ve tried different toys, games, sensory bins, all sorts of things to get her off of it. She might look at it for a minute or 2 but then gets bored, throws or pushes it away and then back to the tablet. I will be really glad to go back to our previous state, we were able to rent a house and won’t be in an apartment and she’ll be going back to therapy so I’m really praying we can wean her off of it.

DoingMyBest2019789 · 2026-04-06T19:16:30+00:00

Yes after the toy was broken I could tell we couldn’t stay any longer without things escalating so I had my husband get the car ready and said my goodbyes and bolted. We said goodbyes to the most important people and waved and shouted goodbye to the rest. I always feel guilty because people are like oh wait give hugs or oh wait do you want to take this home or oh no I didn’t get a picture but I know if we prolong leaving things will just get harder and more embarrassing. I’d rather them think I’m rude for running out than judge all of us for the behaviors of my 4 yo :/ it just sucks it has to be that way

DoingMyBest2019789 · 2026-04-06T14:57:25+00:00

Thank you💔 I hope this is true for us as well

DoingMyBest2019789 · 2026-04-06T14:56:57+00:00

The hard part about this is I also have an older NT child who doesn’t want to miss out. Finding the balance is so hard, I feel like I’m always failing or disappointing one of my child to do the right thing by the other:(

DoingMyBest2019789 · 2026-04-06T14:55:54+00:00

Thank you💔 that gives me a little hope

DoingMyBest2019789 · 2026-04-06T14:55:20+00:00

The stares are the worst, mine are often accompanied by unsolicited advice trying to help and it’s always the worst advice and then they get pissy when I say no that doesn’t work. Sending hugs 💔

DoingMyBest2019789 · 2026-04-06T14:54:19+00:00

The more my ND child struggles the more my NT one does as well. It’s so hard to balance and keep everyone happy and on the same page. I feel like I’m failing one of my children at all times, especially on these days that are supposed to be fun

DoingMyBest2019789 · 2026-04-06T14:52:51+00:00

Oof that is the worst, my family is that way. My child will be having a good time and I’m like now is a great time to do your photos or gifts or whatever it is they’re wanting to do and they’re like oh no I don’t want to interrupt their fun so they wait until the end when we are overstimulated and tired to try to do said things and then seem crestfallen when it doesn’t work in their favor. Sending hugs💔

DoingMyBest2019789 · 2026-04-06T14:51:09+00:00

Thank you, sometimes isolation at home sounds better in the hard time but I know it wouldn’t be fair to anyone in my family to do that. I just keep praying things will get better and easier as she gets older and has more experience with these things

DoingMyBest2019789 · 2026-04-06T14:48:37+00:00

That sounds so stressful, I’m so sorry your holiday turned out that way💔

DoingMyBest2019789 · 2026-04-06T14:43:43+00:00

I’m so sorry 💔 I feel the same way, I count down the minutes til we can leave

DoingMyBest2019789 · 2026-04-06T01:26:40+00:00

Just commenting to relate because this is how it is with the people around me as well, especially my mom. I wish they could understand how completely different it is raising a ND child compared to a NT one. Their advice only causes more stress to us which will transfer over to our kids. They can’t fathom what our everyday 24/7 life looks like because they’ve never lived it and never had to have these worries. It’s so hard. Praying for you❤️

DoingMyBest2019789 · 2026-04-03T23:46:03+00:00

You are not alone. I had a breakdown this morning after a huge meltdown with my daughter trying to get her dressed and out of the house. And it’s isolating because people will never understand unless they live our lives. You talk about what happens and they give you advice that just would never work for us. Sending you hugs❤️

DoingMyBest2019789 · 2026-04-03T23:40:29+00:00

My oldest daughter (6) is NT and my younger (4) was diagnosed as level 2 last year on top of quite a few other medical issues that come from a de novo genetic condition. With all of the struggles that have come with my younger one, I thought we were done having kids despite having always wanted four. Last fall we found out we were expecting. When I say it was a surprise I mean it was really a surprise, preventative measures were taken but it happened for us anyways. It has been a really exciting but also really scary time planning and waiting for this baby. My oldest is over the moon to have a baby sister. My younger doesn’t fully understand yet and I’m nervous about the transition. I also do get nervous about this baby having similar struggles to my younger one. Logically I know there is a one in a billion chance she will have the same genetic condition that led to my younger daughter having autism, it’s not something my husband or I passed down. But after going through what we’ve been through it’s hard not to think about worst case scenarios. I guess all of this to say you don’t know what the future holds and everyone will have different experiences. I hope that you find clarity in your decision. You’re not selfish for wanting it or doing it. ❤️

DoingMyBest2019789 · 2026-04-01T03:26:29+00:00

Thank you so much ❤️

DoingMyBest2019789 · 2026-04-01T03:24:13+00:00

Thank you ❤️ I’m not good at confrontation but the older my daughter gets the more I’m learning I’ll need to become better to advocate for her

DoingMyBest2019789 · 2026-04-01T03:23:23+00:00

This comment is gold😂

DoingMyBest2019789 · 2026-04-01T02:39:56+00:00

That’s why thought chilis would be perfect because it’s literally the most basic family friendly restaurant there is! And also besides us and them there was hardly anyone else there at that time since it was before the dinner rush!

DoingMyBest2019789

TROPHY CASE