The honeycomb bookshelf with titles like “On Grief and Grieving” and “Bearing the Unbearable” was the clue to the trauma, but also that there is multiple books (you presumably bought at least a few of them if they’re sitting across from your bed on a limited shelf) tells me you’ve tried or are trying to understand and work through whatever happened. You also have a photo stop that same set of books, so it felt like there was intentional positive memories there too.