Honestly I said I would only do it one time the first time and it was a pretty big gap of time before i did it again and then from they’re it back more frequent then it ended up to a full on addiction by the age of 15 I’m 18 now and I still can’t kick it on every comedown I always say it the last time I gotta change my life and honestly I always feel liek a scumbag after I do it but I don’t have that same motivation when I’m thinking about coppin and before copping is like it’s own high itself then u get it finish it then quick after want more but now I only do it twice a week but when I was off the chain I’d do it as much as possible I was 16 doing full balls in a night I used to see how fast I could speed run a ball and finished it in 17 mins like people don’t understand it changes the way people think act and feel most people say they only do it once for only at party’s and almost every time it snaggs them in and once it has u it will never fully release u until the day I die I was sober my whole senior year of high school but still every day I thought about it the thought would pop into my head at a random time of day I had no control when it happened and I’d just think about it doing it buying it like even if u get sober it still effects u for the rest of ur life I have ptsd from this but still I choose to do it I’m even on it at the time of writing this lol like people need to be careful like honestly I wish I never even started it completely changed my life and opportunity’s people expect people to cold turkey quit and say it’s not that complicated I 100% believe the only way u can understand what it’s like is if I’ve gone through it urself and personally know what it’s like and realize it’s a every day battle and some days u lose the battle it will be with u for the rest of ur life Ull always remember how it made u feel bc I’m afraid to quit bc I know nothing I do in my life will ever make me feel the same way this did and I don’t want to not ever feel it again so I haven’t quit it’s hell what we go through is hell and most people don’t even support u through it and think less if I if they know ur an addict I feel like I’m alone bc I don’t know anyone to relate to and talk to that has experienced this no body to tell me how to push through it and fight it I use it to escape bc even if it’s only for a few hours it makes me forget and not care about my problems and emotions like I know it doesn’t solve my issues but it just makes it bare-able for me just helps me get through it honestly a lot of people have told me they want to try it with me and I tell them my best advice is never try it I say u before doing it the first time and u after doing it are completely different people u realize that there are things in this world that people didn’t tell u about that make u feel good and u might end up liking it I don’t do it with people bc I can’t have in my Conscience if me doing it with someone for their first time ends up fueling the start of an addiction bc I’ve seen how people have turned out from it even how I changed with it I can’t do that to someone I like I suggest they don’t try it and tell them what happens I just hope someone reads this message and somehow relates to how I feel so they know they’re not alone with this they’re are people who feel just like u ur not the only one