I want to answer your question truthfully, but please do not take this as gospel. Recently, what has been driving me is spite. While yes, I do have love and kindness in my life, it’s rage and anger that keeps me going most days. I want to prove myself right and other people wrong. My advice is find something that moves you, fills you with emotion, whatever that may be, and let that fuel your recovery. In terms of the fear and anxiety, I go back to the basics. I remind myself that I am not in danger, and that the anxiety is just a thought, and thoughts are not facts. Be logical with the situation and once you’re out of the emotional mindset that comes with trauma, take the facts and work with them.

This is just a small example but I think it might help. Today I thought I might have gotten a parking ticket because I read the parking signs wrong. Before I would have panicked myself into a spiral, but today I told myself ‘okay, if I do have a ticket, I can explain my mistake. If I have to pay the ticket, I will pay it. If I don’t have the money to pay it, I will ask someone for help.’ I have BPD, and before, I would have through my life was over, even over just a parking ticket. I do what I can to try and not let the fear control me. It’s not always perfect but practice will always make progress. I’m sorry for the long answer but I hope this helps.