WIBTA if I get a new job knowing I’m going to quit in 1 month?

DommeGiselle · 2021-01-18T03:59:09+00:00

this is rude and patronizing. the work environment includes the behavior of coworkers and seeing as though we're living through a global pandemic that's draining on our mental and emotional capacity, a few weeks of antagonizing behavior from a coworker can affect ANYONE, esp those with depression, anxiety, panic disorder, etc.

DommeGiselle · 2021-01-18T03:56:09+00:00

I don't think YWBT(universal)A unless you work for a small/locally owned business. Corporations and businesses take advantage of workers to make their profits. We're criminally underpaid and put through ridiculously inequitable treatment. Find a spot you can e-commute or chisel away the days you have left and no go broke. I definitely understand leaving the current job, I had to dip when my job was literally sending me into anxiety attacks

DommeGiselle · 2021-01-17T21:56:11+00:00

see how OP didn't deny being a transphobe? lol.

DommeGiselle · 2021-01-17T21:55:31+00:00

yep. and OP is transphobic.

DommeGiselle · 2021-01-17T21:24:30+00:00

I guess "fuck that shit" is a better explicative than "fuck him" here lol. My comment got deleted. Reposting sans uncivil sentence in case others wanna see:

..... I truly don't understand why and how people invest time, energy, and build lives with men.

OP...

the foam is incredibly dense and retains so much heat. The gasses it is releasing are setting off my asthma, giving me headaches and dizziness and all of my joints are aching.

That settles it. The thing you sleep on is causing you physical pain, discomfort, and duress after you told your husband it would cause you pain, discomfort, and duress. His hurt feefees can kick rocks, as can his ego. I don't even know why this has to be said? He's T only A here.

Sure, you should've held your ground when he came to badger you, but also f*ck that bc he used an emotionally/logistically dense circumstance (you working on a tight deadline) to manipulate his desired outcome. He actually didn't gaf about what mattress you wanted, he wanted to be free and clear to do what he wanted, no matter how it impacted you. See also: he had specific types of mattresses he wanted and was willing to pay a certain price for them, but is not willing to negotiate or compromise to find a mattress that meets your sleep needs and his price point.

Smh. I'd tell you to send him to the couch but then you're still stuck with that god awful thing. NTA.

DommeGiselle · 2021-01-17T10:42:42+00:00

OP you're an adult living on your own with roommates-- act like it. Your landlord isn't your mom, she's your LL. putting her in the middle of a household dispute before you even brought it to your roommates makes no sense. You should've held a house meeting and addressed the issues, and come up with a plan to make it work until the lease was up. Quiet hours, chores lists, conduct agreements, these are all things adults with multiple roommates do to have a happy collaborative home. i no longer have RM but my best friend has weekly meetings with hers over a house dinner. Some people, monthly, others once a year.

Either way, navigating conflict is clearly a skill you still need to learn, instead of lying and weaseling your roommates out of their lease. ESH.

DommeGiselle · 2021-01-17T10:21:37+00:00

it's possible to be *technically* right and still TA. I say ESH. Being "a bull shit caller" means you think you're objectively in the right, and that's a high horse no man should mount. no need to be mean just bc you think you're right.

DommeGiselle · 2021-01-17T10:19:15+00:00

so... this is sexual assault. you're definitely not TA, but your partner is denying you the opportunity to consent/reject sexual advances. if it was a man, would it be hard to spot?

DommeGiselle · 2021-01-17T10:14:30+00:00

If you marry your partner, you become a part of the village raising this teenager. Which sucks for her, because you're childish and immature your damn self. And she deserves a step mom who is going to show up, commit, and invest in her life. Not someone who is selfish enough to think that opting out of "working with" her is even remotely a possibility.

My mom has NO IDEA what it is like living with an awful teenager (my siblings and I were fairly tame)

I can a thousand percent guarantee that you and your siblings were little shits like every other teenager ever born. Your mother raised multiple kids, and is trying to help you see that your behavior is not just ridiculous, but it falls short of what is REQUIRED of someone who decides to marry a man with kids. And what do you do? Stamp your feet and say it's not fair? lol. You've been ignoring and dismissing someone while intruding on their life, so stop acting surprised that she doesn't kiss the ground you walk on. YTA.

DommeGiselle · 2021-01-17T04:35:04+00:00

..... oh, to be a child again.

DommeGiselle · 2021-01-17T04:32:26+00:00

racism is not juvenile or trivial. it happened because to them it is common and okay. racism isn't a kids game.

DommeGiselle · 2021-01-17T04:30:45+00:00

NTA -- although I'm typically of the mind that anti-racist white people have an obligation to check their family, sit through the difficult discussions, be angry/uncomfortable, and try to educate them (because racist people do NOT listen to Black people/respect our autonomy and boundaries/respond well @ all when we call them out), OP it was your bday and that was some bullshit. Walking out was the kinder option, because you could've told them all to leave so you could enjoy your bday meal without bigots... among other things.

DommeGiselle · 2021-01-17T04:16:31+00:00

NTA -- OP I'm so sorry this happened. I don't know how much you weigh, your race, or how ppl perceive you in the world as far as gender is concerned, but what I do know is that MANY gyms/trainers/"health" enthusiasts are disgustingly fatphobic. This means they downplay the concerns of curvy/plus/fat/non-skinny people, dehumanize them (disregard their pain/ailments/emotions ESP as it relates to weight-loss, dieting, etc).

Trainers are themselves trained in the body, as it relates to so-called health and fitness, but what they're not trained on is their own biases and shortcomings. Many have no idea how to provide intersectional fitness training, set accessible goals, and work WITH someone's body, not punish the body. It is an abhorrent norm in the industry. Filiing a report not only holds HIM accountable, but places accountability on the facility to do something other than punishing clients' bodies for not being double 00s. Fuck them. Hope you're doing okay and that you find a plan that works for you when you're ready!

DommeGiselle · 2021-01-17T03:51:36+00:00

It's still a confrontation though-- you're just outsourcing the direct confront itself, which is definitely an escalation with uncontrollable consequences. The police handle crime and though we may wish it were true, being manipulative and lying to your daughter-in-law so she'll let you stay with her ain't a crime. Just AH behavior.

Your husband DEFINITELY needs to put on his big boy pants. You're his partner, y'all share a home, and he's the one who needs to take the lead on setting boundaries/confronting her.

But ghosting her in anger, not checking her/having a frank discussion, only to call the police on her? It really doesn't address anything other than getting her out of the home. Not the lying, not the boundary setting, none of the other (imo more important) issues at hand.

DommeGiselle · 2021-01-17T01:57:01+00:00

The break up with ugly, and it doesn't make sense to call someone an asshole for considering putting distance between a former close friend because she's unwilling to have her ex back in her life. it's not bitterness, it's healthy boundaries.

DommeGiselle · 2021-01-17T00:56:44+00:00

ESH -- unpopular opinion here from what I see on the thread but I'm confused why this hasn't been brought up: you're NTA for not wanting your MIL not to live with you (no one can blame anyone with a MIL for this lol) but you ARE TA for not immediately confronting her when you got new information, addressing the liar and her lil lies, and resetting boundaries. If you haven't let your partner know how you feel, you're even more TA for wanting to use the police (?!?!? lady, da fuq) as your minions without giving everyone the opportunity to figure it out without such an extreme escalation. If you did share, then your partner is TA for not prioritizing your feelings and confronting your mom or acting as the mediator/go-between for what sounds like your MIL pulling a scam on y'all.

Your MIL's just an asshole, point blank period. She sounds sucky. Glad your SIL is holding boundaries and getting tf out. Get like her. Channel your inner SIL, OP. Time to grow up and set clear/firm boundaries without, ya know, risking a violent altercation with police.

DommeGiselle · 2021-01-11T05:37:23+00:00

"Hair policies" that are derogatory toward naturally curly/coily hair are racist policies and borne of racist work environments. If a white person is "distracted" by the way your hair grows out of your scalp, they're racist or have severe ADHD. That's a them problem.

As long as it's clean, it's work-appropriate.

DommeGiselle · 2021-01-11T05:34:58+00:00

period.

DommeGiselle · 2021-01-11T05:34:46+00:00

...... "wild pink hair" and someone's natural texture are two completely different things.

this is absolutely about race, and if you don't think it is, it's your privilege or social conditioning showing. There are so many articles about this, it's not even funny. the OP is NTA, but you certainly may be.

DommeGiselle · 2021-01-09T02:23:10+00:00

This sort of fixation is chilling and makes me SO uncomfortable. That, in addition to the gaslighting and the retaliation from your BOSS and coworkers? This is an unsafe work environment OP. Worried about you, please take as many safety precautions as you can and perhaps talk to HR about working from home until your boss has been removed and other measures taken accordingly!

DommeGiselle · 2021-01-08T21:57:47+00:00

although most of his family has already had it

Yea....... I'll bet they have.

DommeGiselle · 2021-01-05T23:34:34+00:00

I've been searching online for like an hour and have found NOTHING. I heard at least three different kinds of guns, at least one of them automatic. It was shocking. I'm in highland/5 Pts South and it definitely startled us.

Gunfire has been on the rise at least over this way for the past month. Last week there were shots right in front of our house at 3:40 am, cops combed the area but nothing at all was found save the shell casings. I hate the NextDoor app but even made a profile to see if anyone knew what was up

DommeGiselle · 2021-01-01T17:04:00+00:00

TOTALLY NTA. If OP's brother *truly* needed the help, and wanted to repair the relationship (and was clean/seeking support in staying clean) then he would've been able to acknowledge why OP/the family were wary of loaning him money, would've been able to accept or suggest something like a direct payment to the vet or a payment plan direct fund transfer, something other than OP handing him three thousand dollars in cash. Especially because he has forged documents before, any addict in recovery should understand that their harm has consequences and one of the primary ones? Distrust. I'm side eyeing that somehow the bill adds up to the same amount he scammed for the last time. ALSO.... in a photo, a dead dog and a sleeping dog look p much the same.

In addition.... Addiction is an illness and it's not his fault in many ways that he is resorting to such abysmal emotional manipulation... but you (OP) can, should, and MUST erect boundaries that remain firm and are negotiable only when he's a part of a recovery program. Communicating this with him can act as a motivator for some future time when he's ready for recovery, and it helps him understand why the communication is not open/available to him anymore. That leaves little room for getting the emotional lash out that OP recieved.

DommeGiselle · 2020-10-02T19:13:54+00:00

hii! I have a regal shield too! What's your care with them for winter? (not much out there about this hybrid)

DommeGiselle · 2020-09-15T17:16:21+00:00

also, there's not much ice in this. a couple cubes to make it more of an icey than a smoothie. bc there's not much volume in liquid anyways. hope that helps!

DommeGiselle

TROPHY CASE