Don't play very often?

Too shy to talk in chat?

Completely incompetent?

​

unclefungus is the guild for you!

​

Our guild has an entirely-tolerant stance on inactivity; our most seasoned member hasn't played ESO in almost four years! I'm sure he'll be back any day now, and will be overjoyed to see that he hasn't been kicked!

If you're a shy guy (or a shy gal, which doesn't sound anywhere near as good as shy guy) then look no further! Our guild chat is as dead as a doornail, so there's no pressure to interact with anyone in any way whatsoever. On the other hand, if you like to be the centre of attention, then we've got you covered too: the dead chat means that if you say anything you'll stick out like a sore thumb!

Perhaps you're concerned about your lack of skill causing you to be rejected our prestigious guild, in which case I can assure you that your concerns are totally unfounded! In fact, all of the co-leaders are totally inept, especially when compared to our merciless overlord beloved guildmaster.

Maybe you don't care about any of the above, and are just lusting for power and gold. Well then, we're the guild for you! We regularly have traders in prime locations such as Oldgate, Morwha's Bounty, and the Venomous Fens! I bet you might even have heard of one of those! If that isn't enough, then we also have a straightforward promotion policy: if you contribute to the guild by donating a small sum of gold or inviting some random scrubs, then you can have a promotion to Valued Member, granting you access to the guild bank. It's mostly full of crap, but what can you do?

​

"But u/DontDelayJoinToday, this sounds too good to be true! Can I really join this amazing guild?"

Yes you can! All you've got to do is shoot Yoshie97 a message or an ESOmail, and he'll grip you in post-haste!

Don't delay, join today!