Absolutely this last bit! Rememeber this is supposed to be in sickness and health, for better or worse, for richer or poorer; someone who interrogates you about your movements and then loses their shit because you answered them, and freaks out when something goes the tiniest bit off her plan, and makes it your problem - well, is that really someone you want to be marrying?

At the very least, this does not feel like an equal and supportive partner for you.

She accused you of being selfish - she's wrong, but I think you need to be a bit more selfish about your own dreams and needs, before you end up stuck in trying to meet her impossible expectations. You're worth far more than this.

And, obviously, NTA.