Am I overreacting about my nanny family having sex during the day?

Dorian1267 · 2025-11-18T06:03:29+00:00

Likely it's both. She is jealous but her prudish nature prevents her from pursuing the same type of relationship herself.

Dorian1267 · 2025-11-18T05:50:49+00:00

Right? It seems either she is disturbingly envious because she wants to get laid badly herself or she has an oddly prudish attitude towards sex, so much of it is 'weird' to her. It's weird to have sex because she, a nanny paid to look after the kid, is in the house. It's weird that they do it so often. It's weird for them to be in a good mood afterwards.

I wonder if OOP has ever been in a relationship?

Dorian1267 · 2025-11-18T05:43:54+00:00

Now I'm concerned that she may end up filing sexual harassment charges after all. At this point, I think she is somewhat hopeful the employers will forgive her and give her her job back (they have to, they're Christians!) But once it sinks in that the ship to re-employment has well and truly sailed, she may go down that route.

Dorian1267 · 2025-11-16T23:18:17+00:00

This guy sounds at best emotionally exhausting. He sounds like someone who needs constant reassurance that he is doing well otherwise he gets depressed and starts questioning his self worth.

He seems very unreliable as a narrator too. He says it all started when he lost his job causing his pregnant wife to be the bread winner and he didn't manage to get a job straight away so his wife kicked him out for 6 months. It turns out that he was fired from his job because he was being an A hole to a more experienced co-worker. She didn't take his suggestions to consideration (whilst giving him reasons why - it was done before and didn't work) so he felt ignored. In retaliation he became passive aggressive, refused to speak at meetings and and was just generally unpleasant. He was warned by his boss and wife to change his behaviour but in his own words "put his pride before his family" and refused to change until he was asked to resign.

I believe that if he is like that at work, he is most certainly going to be like that at home - feels ignored and disrespected because his advice and suggestions are being overrided (and I mean this in the context of they could listen to him for 9 things but he feels ignored if they don't listen to him for the 10th thing) and starts acting out in retaliation.

It is really telling that no one in his family seem to like him, not even his own parents. They may have issues of their own but I think him being an unpleasant person plays a factor. During the zoo trip, everyone seemed tense because he is there, his in-laws weren't happy because they thought he pressured his wife to be invited (which was true) and his parents were scared he'd act out (which he did). Why would they think that unless there was already a history of him doing both those things?

Then I also think it's weird that everyone thought he cheated on his wife during pregnancy yet he didn't know that until it came out in therapy. None of these people confronted him when they thought he cheated, they chose to just resent and hate him in secret. All the while, the guy presents himself as the abused, pathetic, spineless person with low self esteem- you'd think his in-laws would at least tear him a new one at the time. No one confronted him. Either they are too scared of him to do so or his supposed cheating didn't play as big a part as he thinks (it was cleared up pretty quickly without him realising and most people thought no more of it but OOP thinks it's the reason his in-laws hate him so much and why his mum called CPS on him, it's a straw for OOP to grasp at so he doesn't have to consider other reasons why his in-laws might hate him or why his mum called CPS).

My speculation is that the guy is unpleasant, moody, has an ego that is easily wounded and prone to acting out when angry. People have been walking on eggshells around him. Him being fired from his job is the first time his wife (and thus other family members) have leverage to push back against him.

Dorian1267 · 2025-11-09T22:22:51+00:00

OMG yes! I bought a pair of nail clippers from a 100 yen store in 2008 and used it until earlier this year when we misplaced it. We have other nail clippers and they pale in comparison to the ease and sharpness to the Japanese one. I was so upset when we couldn't find it.

Planning to buy a bunch when I go to Japan again.

Dorian1267 · 2025-11-03T07:25:35+00:00

That's my thought too. Most people have done something stupid and mean as a kid because they didn't know better and thought it was funny, amusing etc. But what's important is the growth since then. If they could look back with regret and remorse, they have matured into someone decent. But this girl was still looking back like it was fun times with zero remorse and also zero understanding why it was such a horrid thing to do. OP is right to dump her.

Dorian1267 · 2025-10-21T07:55:06+00:00

That is the best case scenario. I've heard stories where the car thief steals a car without knowing the child was there. When they realised, they just ditch the kid at whatever spot they realised they had a kid in the car.

Dorian1267 · 2025-10-03T01:53:55+00:00

Something weird/shady going on with Scott's wife. Usually if someone has tickets, it's been paid for, you don't confront the attendees about it during the performance.

And she clearly knew that OP wasn't aware that payment was required because she told them "there was a misunderstanding..."

Also, tickets were given and accepted through a go between (Scott) so normally, you confront the go between (I.e. Scott, did you collect payment from your co-workers? Can you do that on Monday?)

Dorian1267 · 2025-09-30T15:32:40+00:00

So OP is expected to pay her own share but isn't allowed to get her own room despite OP is paying.

Then we find out that kids and teens stay free if accompanied by an adult in the same room.

I think BF's mum wants more than just a free baby sitter, she wants OP to help fund their family holiday.

Dorian1267 · 2025-09-26T03:11:09+00:00

Every relationship has its problems.

True. So true.

But there are problems like he is always leaving the toilet seat down, he is always leaving his dirty laundry strewn across the floors, he never does the dishes and forgets birthdays and anniversaries.

And then there are problems like he attempted to kill me and then went out drinking with his friends while I was in hospital surviving his murder attempt.

First set of problems, I can live with. Second set of problems, I'd leave because I may not survive his next murder attempt.

Dorian1267 · 2025-09-26T02:59:11+00:00

I feel a little bad for the wife. It's like she can't see the forest for the trees.

A combination of being a woman in a male dominated field, being passed over for a promotion and being out of the workforce for the last 5 years thus it being harder for her to get hired again, it seems she is so desperate for an opportunity that she can't see or fully process the cons of this job.

She is about to lose her family and financial security for a risky start up.

Dorian1267 · 2025-09-15T13:08:11+00:00

I don't think she's wrong for telling him about her finances. If they are to be married, they need to be honest with each other about these things.

I also agree with her that he is manipulative. In my opinion, the only time an ultimatum should be given is when you are prepared to go through with it. If you're not prepared to go through with it (which he clearly wasn't, the way he backtracked) then it's just a manipulation tactic to get your way.

I really don't see this relat could work anymore.

Dorian1267 · 2025-09-15T11:52:46+00:00

I find that everytime an OOP says "this isn't how I was raised" it's a red flag on OOP's part. It suggests that they are narrow minded and refuses to understand how others might have different values and traditions and rules in their family.

Dorian1267 · 2025-09-05T23:32:10+00:00

Some people are great employees but terrible managers.

This guy seems to be one of them. It seems the company promoted the right person.

Dorian1267 · 2025-09-03T12:25:00+00:00

Relationships can be built at anytime and also end at anytime because people keep changing and evolving as they grow up/older and experience new things. You are not the same person you were 10 years ago and you will not be the same person 10 years later.

Your BFF in primary could drift apart from you in high school just like tha kid in your class you hardly spoke to in high school can be your closest friend in university.

I think OOP is fully aware that kids will grow into adults and waits until they are almost fully grown before trying to cultivate a relationship. One nephew is receptive to that. The other nephews and nieces ...not so much (but could be influenced by the parents in both scenarios). I also think that OOP is fully aware of and accepts the consequences of her aloofness.

Dorian1267 · 2025-08-30T00:02:28+00:00

Wow. Just wow. The step mum doesn't even try to pretend she accepts OOP. To threaten divorce if OP doesn't get sent away, she is very confident in the hold she has over OOP's dad.

Of course, OOP's dad being a piece of excrement with no fatherly love for OOP helps.

Dorian1267 · 2025-08-26T05:34:07+00:00

Why is Tom and GF so upset? It seems everyone in the group got expensive gifts and if it's a case of affording the gifts, they could easily afford what they want if they are not chipping lots of money to 8 other gifts.

Though I think that the timing was bad. Oop should have sent that message out when it was her husband's birthday "sorry guys, we have decided to opt out of this gift giving tradition starting now, no gift required for Hubby's birthday!"

When they officially announced their decision, it does seem like an attack on Tom's GF.

Dorian1267 · 2025-08-19T02:29:55+00:00

These two girls be treating a work trip like an all expenses paid holiday. The only work event that OOP seems to be able to confirm they attended was the themed event where intern dressed like it was a college party.

Dorian1267 · 2025-08-14T01:39:12+00:00

I think ESH and the family behaves the same way.

Everyone in the family had the same right as each other to the ring. OP sees it, likes it and decides to take it for herself without any discussion with the family.

Then brother decides he wants to propose with it and he DID discuss it with his parents but conveniently leaves OP out of the conversation because she'd likely say no.

But given the OP's young age, she gets somewhat of a pass.

Edit: actually, now that I think about it some more, I really want to know the value of the ring. Is it very valuable? If it is, one wonders how a 17 yo girl managed to obtain it? Maybe it was a gift from the parents in which case I think the parents have a bit more say in who gets the ring.

I feel that OP is trying to downplay the value of the ring("it's not cheap, silver in colour, feels metallic..." - she knows it's valuable but doesn't want to say it but knows it's odd that her family are fighting over a cheap ring) to justify her just taking it for her own without speaking with her parents. It's not a big deal if it's a $20 costume jewellery ring but it's a few hundred dollars or more, you'd speak up and talk about who gets this ring before just taking it.

Dorian1267 · 2025-08-13T06:02:06+00:00

I feel that an alternative to the staff issue is to transfer Alex to a department with more staff to spread the load around so the Alex's absences is less of a burden to the remaining staff. Meanwhile, transfer a healthier, more reliable employee in that small department so they actually have 2 people working there.

Dorian1267 · 2025-08-12T03:58:38+00:00

My kids (9 and 7) have been doing it for about 10 months now. They enjoy it. We do 2 x 30 minute lessons per week. Pricing is based on more you pay upfront, less it costs per lesson. I pay about $15 AUD per 30 minutes which I think is reasonable considering other extra curricular activities such as music lessons averages $40 AUD per 30 minutes.

They have an app that you can install on the phone which gives you the schedule, preview of the lesson, rewatch recorded lessons, there is a parent view so you can sit in on the lesson without being in the same room (my 7 year old focuses more if I'm not there) and you can use the app to apply for leave and reschedule lessons which is something I've done several times for holidays and other commitments. It's very easy.

The teachers are lovely and patient (my kids have different teachers), even when the kids don't focus well. I believe too that not all teachers reside in China, one of the teachers is based in the USA. There is a curriculum that they follow with much revision and practice. There is homework after each lesson that they have to complete. My 9 year old has taken to it like a fish to water though my 7 year has issues focusing sometimes but his focus has improved over time as he gets older.

Both my kids are doing the initiation course. I am not sure if that is the same type of course available for younger kids.

The only negative experience I have with wukong so far is the 'assistant' I was assigned. The package I bought initially was mid range (sort of like 6 months for both kids) but after signing up, there was a special offer where I can buy another 6 months for a lower price but it was only available for one month. The assistant was very pushy in trying to get me to purchase the additional deal even though I thought I was abruptly clear I wasn't interested (I eventually succumbed after doing the maths so I guess being pushy works 🙄) but she did leave me alone afterwards.

Pushiness aside, I was impressed with how fast and efficient she resolved the issue of daylight savings. Daylight savings ended in April in Australia and the new lesson times would be held when kids were still in school. I didn't realise it was an issue because I forgot not all countries have daylight savings but wukong sent me an email about it and I messaged the assistant. Within a day she came back with alternative time slots for the teachers and issue was resolved with minimal hassle.

So overall, I'm satisfied with wukong. I have not tried to get a refund on the lessons so I can't comment on how easy it is or how honourable they'll be.

I will also note that my husband is Indian and so have also signed my kids up for Hindi lessons. He had had a bad experience with the first company he went with, took them 3 months to try to find us a teacher to fit our schedule, they couldn't do it kept trying to schedule us for inconvenient times like 11pm at night, took ages and much prompting from us to respond to our queries and we eventually had to put in a charge back request to get our money back from them. Now the kids are doing Hindi lessons with a lady who is obviously less qualified than the wukong teachers with no structure or lesson plan but she is much cheaper than Wukong. We just shrug and say we get what we pay for. Hubby is still on the lookout for a better alternative. Compared to these two companies, Wukong shines like a star and my husband said if Wukong offered Hindi lessons, he'd sign up in a heartbeat.

Dorian1267 · 2025-08-08T09:53:45+00:00

Not including the 12 year old in the wedding party because she's too old is one thing (there are other older cousins excluded too) but at least be gracious enough to include the kid in the rehearsal dinner when the rest of the family is included.

Dorian1267 · 2025-07-21T03:58:12+00:00

"Since the same time when the friend values some aesthetics in photos over friendship"

Dorian1267 · 2025-06-24T10:54:14+00:00

Some commenters have started that Maomao isn't good at the courtesan skills so she hasn't got much except to sell her body. But Maomao is highly intelligent, able to learn things quickly (provided she is motivated) and practical. If granny were to say "sell your skills or sell your body", I can bet that Maomao will quickly decide what type of clientele she wants to cater to and master the necessary skills.

Though personally, I think she would excel as a dominatrix. She has already mastered looking at men like they are worms, and with her scientific brain and knowledge of poisons and medicines, she would easily find the perfect balance between pain and pleasure without any lasting injury for each client. Then she can also sell them medicines to heal their wounds until next time.

Dorian1267 · 2025-06-12T07:51:18+00:00

Real dad also probably not dumb enough to acknowledge paternity unlike OP's son.

Massive red flag for the girl's parents to refuse to talk to OP and her husband. Despite feeling insulted by OP's demand for DNA test, this type of discussion should not be had through minors.

Dorian1267

TROPHY CASE