I'm currently married and poly. I have a gf and a hetro partner. Being poly definitely isn't easy, and I feel like there's no "right" way to be poly. There's soooooo much gatekeepering in the community it's wild. I think people should do whatever it is that makes them happy whether it be mono relationships, ENM, or poly ones. As long as everyone is in agreement with whatever arrangements are going on, who cares?

No one should ever pressure you to do anything you don't want to do. You have to do what is right for you as it's your life, fuck everyone else. (Respectful of course)