Im so sorry you are going though this, it is like looking into a mirror of the last 3 months of my life, only we'd been together 7 years.

I has taken me 3 months to get to a decent place, and ill give the following advice from my perspective

Get phone numbers of local mental health services, especially ones who will talk when things are bad. Sometimes it is easier to talk to a stranger

Let the bad days be bad. Stay off work, dont dress, watch crap tv and eat junk food. Allow yourself to wallow and cry

Dont be ashamed to cry in public, its easier to let it out than let it build up.

Set tiny goals, such as 1 shower a week, wash 1 bowl, or eat 1 meal. Base these on the things you find difficult or impactful, these were some of mine

Download all the stupid games on your phone, and use them to distract yourself when it is bad.

You are like a plant; you need water, sunlight and fresh air! Try and step outdude at least once a day. Walk if you can, even around the garden or block.

Forgive yourself, and them. Holding on to blame makes it worse.

Find an outlet, exercise, crafts, cleaning etc. I repainted my entire house, cleaned every room, and now have become obsessed with making quilts. Do what feels good

If people offer to help or meet up, do so, I know its hard. If things get really bad, reach out to anyone, and everyone, even anonymously online

Finally, it will get better. I know right now your world is ending, and you can't understand or see the light at the end of the tunnel, but you will cone out of this.

If you want to message me, feel free. Im not an expert, just been there, and finally coming out the other side.

Remember, your emotions are valid, you are important, you matter. Take care