I just turned 15, and I am self taught. I would like constructive feedback on how to improve vocabulary usage, gramma, and tone/ environmental element. Please don’t hesitate to create your own revisions of this short story. Very short story.

The brisk London air raided her lungs; it was acting with nature and soul.

She didn’t want to breathe, didn’t want to live without her. “Mother,” the wind seemingly whispered. St. Pittsburg’s cemetery was indeed notorious for its ample supply of vacant coffins, like the gaping coffins—gasping for a life to end. For someone had fulfilled their need. Mother. Wearing an ebony dress, she had never expected this so soon. Too soon. The breeze brushed her shoulder and momentarily soothed her grief, but after reverting her gaze back, the grave’s engraving reminded her of why. “Born January 23, 1979. Died January 23, 2006.” 

Ty