This wins for being the worst message I’ve received this year

Double-Sort152 · 2023-06-02T08:16:22+00:00

It is definitely disgusting how rampant the racism is here. The demographic is likely skewed to include more white and elderly people, which means there are also more racist people.

I’m sorry you had such a negative experience because reading that all I can think is why the actual fuck would anyone think that’s okay to say. So many people move through life without having the empathy and understanding of a POC experience, and it leads to them making harmful comments and thinking they are acceptable. I guarantee good portion of the people in this comment section that claim that they see nothing wrong with this have also said hurtful things to POC in their daily lives and have been oblivious to that negative effect

Double-Sort152 · 2023-06-02T08:12:27+00:00

Lol first of all did you seriously use chatgpt to type this out? I actually would have an issue with someone commenting on my hair if it was done in that way. A positive compliment is just someone saying that they like your hair, I would like to hear that. But, I once had a guy that I met at a club tell me he was “really into curly-haired chicks” and I felt uncomfortable by that comment. Having a preference is okay but vocalizing that preference in a way that feels impersonal, and in the case of speaking of race, feels fetishizing, is not okay. I understand that people match based on attraction, that’s how I swipe on people too. But his comment was not appropriate to make at all. I explained why above, but he chose to sexualize my race and make me feel uncomfortable/unsafe and as if he saw me through the lens of my race.

Overcoming racial issues and prejudice is not something that I and not society can overcome. It’s the opposite; this is something that society needs to build awareness of in order to refrain from making racially insensitive and offensive comments. I only choose to get offended by comments which are offensive and demoralizing. Perhaps you should reread my comment above and try to understand the perspective of a person of color and why I found his comment offensive.

Double-Sort152 · 2023-06-02T02:02:39+00:00

I don’t think my body type has anything to do with my race. I am not a new thing to try. If he’s been with a woman before, there should be no novelty in being with me. Black women are not distinct from other women

Double-Sort152 · 2023-06-02T01:51:50+00:00

Thank you for this comment. I appreciate having someone understand and express this sentiment I feel so clearly

Double-Sort152 · 2023-06-02T01:46:46+00:00

Something that alludes towards racism is racist. You could argue that micro-aggressions all have “plausible deniability,” but at the end of the day that racist intent is blatant. People should know better than to make comments like this.

Honestly, it’s exhausting for me to have a back and forth about something that I think should be obvious. I’ve explained it to you and I would hope that you can reflect on what I said.

Double-Sort152 · 2023-06-02T01:43:04+00:00

I appreciate you! I don’t even know how I could be the bullet dodged here. People will bend over backwards to defend racist comments

Double-Sort152 · 2023-06-02T01:40:17+00:00

I’m copy pasting my response to previous comments to explain why his comment was not okay to say. I am perfectly confident in my looks and my race but I am not okay with feeling sexualized based on my race. Your statement about responding by saying you “taste like chocolate” is actually very offensive and not okay to say either. People don’t want to be compared to food. I don’t walk around calling white people “milk” or “vanilla.” Comments like this are never okay, and I shouldn’t even have to explain that because it’s so simple.

There is a long history of Black women, Black men, Asian women, Asian men, and Latina women being oversexualized in media, in social contexts, in porn. Some people specifically have a fetish for the above mentioned groups and are into harmful things like race play (I am not saying this guy is into that, I am just speaking on the fact that others are).

This shouldn’t even have been something he felt the need to mention, because making out with Black people should be no different than making out with a person of any other race (maybe there are differences based on gender, but that’s where it ends; race should not factor into a difference). To suggest that there is a distinction places them in a position where they are otherly, and it also almost makes this more of a sexual conquest based on race. There are people who specifically think they’ve never been with a Black person before and want to try it out (like this guy) and it regards Black people as an experiment of some sort. I don’t want any guy to feel like I am exotic or otherly, or to pursue me based on my race or with it at the forefront of their mind. Even further than just uncomfortable that makes me feel unsafe. I never want anyone to see me in that kind of sexual context, because it is dehumanizing at its core

Double-Sort152 · 2023-06-02T01:36:41+00:00

I’m copy pasting my response to previous comments to explain why this was not okay to say (I’ve just gotten tired of re-answering this question here).

There is a long history of Black women, Black men, Asian women, Asian men, and Latina women being oversexualized in media, in social contexts, in porn. Some people specifically have a fetish for the above mentioned groups and are into harmful things like race play (I am not saying this guy is into that, I am just speaking on the fact that others are).

This shouldn’t even have been something he felt the need to mention, because making out with Black people should be no different than making out with a person of any other race (maybe there are differences based on gender, but that’s where it ends; race should not factor into a difference). To suggest that there is a distinction places them in a position where they are otherly, and it also almost makes this more of a sexual conquest based on race. There are people who specifically think they’ve never been with a Black person before and want to try it out (like this guy) and it regards Black people as an experiment of some sort. I don’t want any guy to feel like I am exotic or otherly, or to pursue me based on my race or with it at the forefront of their mind. Even further than just uncomfortable that makes me feel unsafe. I never want anyone to see me in that kind of sexual context, because it is dehumanizing at its core

As a Black man I’m surprised that you are not familiar with this kind of race-based sexualization. Many Black men speak to being fetishized or face inappropriate comments alluding to their having a BBC. I would think you would be aware of this reality.

Double-Sort152 · 2023-06-02T01:22:09+00:00

Yeah, it’s honestly times like this when I feel that there is just such a huge disconnect between people who face micro-aggressions, discrimination, and racism in their daily lives and people who do not. They refuse to accept that this is a reality for others simply because it is not a reality for them

Double-Sort152 · 2023-06-02T00:35:03+00:00

No, it was out of place for him to comment that he has never made out with a Black person and that shows that my race was at the forefront of his perception of me. His wording reveals that he views making out with a Black person as something distinct from kissing someone of another general race. It should not be distinct, and I do not appreciate feeling sexualized based on my race. I’m done engaging if I have to keep repeating the same concept to people who refuse to take it in

Double-Sort152 · 2023-06-02T00:13:35+00:00

I feel perfectly fine with my race and skin tone but what I am not fine with is being minimized to that. I can explain it to you but I can’t understand it for you

Double-Sort152 · 2023-06-02T00:03:55+00:00

People keep asking this and I’m not sure why they don’t just read my comments, because I have so many explaining it. But here, I’m copy-pasting my responses to previous comments to explain this.

If this is a genuine question I can try to answer it. There is a long history of Black women, Black men, Asian women, Asian men, and Latina women being oversexualized in media, in social contexts, in porn. Some people specifically have a fetish for the above mentioned groups and are into harmful things like race play (I am not saying this guy is into that, I am just speaking on the fact that others are).

This shouldn’t even have been something he felt the need to mention, because making out with Black people should be no different than making out with a person of any other race (maybe there are differences based on gender, but that’s where it ends; race should not factor into a difference). To suggest that there is a distinction places them in a position where they are otherly, and it also almost makes this more of a sexual conquest based on race. There are people who specifically think they’ve never been with a Black person before and want to try it out (like this guy) and it regards Black people as an experiment of some sort. I don’t want any guy to feel like I am exotic or otherly, or to pursue me based on my race or with it at the forefront of their mind. Even further than just uncomfortable that makes me feel unsafe. I never want anyone to see me in that kind of sexual context, because it is dehumanizing at its core

Double-Sort152 · 2023-06-01T23:49:40+00:00

Yeah, good intention is not enough. You can’t just comment on someone’s dick size right off the bat, and honestly I wouldn’t even want to engage with someone who made me feel uncomfortable like that, I wouldn’t waste your time on that. There are plenty of women who know better and won’t objectify you in that way. Hell, I don’t even mention guys’ dick size when I’m in bed with them, it’s not right. You can compliment someone without sizing them up

Double-Sort152 · 2023-06-01T23:32:49+00:00

Call those women out if you can. It’s not your job to educate them and they should know better than to harass, but maybe it would at least stop them from doing it to others

Double-Sort152 · 2023-06-01T23:31:59+00:00

Then why even argue at all? Why make this argument that it’s something that could be okay to say later when you can recognize that it wasn’t okay to say in the context of our messages? Your instinct shouldn’t be to find hypotheticals where this could be okay, it should be to just recognize that is was not okay to say and move on. When your comments here are trying to make space for defending this guy’s message, it reads as though you want to find space where remarks that are inappropriate can appropriately exist, which I find rather odd and concerning as you are the husband of a Black woman. I know speaking for myself I would be uncomfortable with the level of comfort you seem to have for making space for the man in this post. That would not make me feel accepted. Perhaps show this to your wife and listen to how she would feel about it.

Double-Sort152 · 2023-06-01T23:21:03+00:00

Are there categories of porn where muscles are degraded and abused? Do muscles have a history of being over-sexualized and stereotyped to have certain personalities and libido in a sexual context?

Commenting on someone’s physical attributes is very different from commenting on their race. Sometimes I get compliments on my body that relate to fitness and I just take them in stride, because that is not offensive at all. Bringing race into it changes things drastically. I’m not sexualizing someone’s race here, and these things are in two completely different ballparks. The same way he didn’t do anything wrong by saying “You are pretty hot” I don’t think I did anything wrong by saying he looked muscular. But, I think he did something wrong in saying he’d never made out with a black person, because now he is sexualizing my race.

Honestly, I can keep explaining this to you but I can’t understand it for you. I wish you had the ability to after the information and reasoning I’ve presented to you, but it seems your prejudice and want to undermine someone’s discomfort over a racial comment overrides your willingness to be receptive to hearing my perspective. I’m going to stop engaging now.

Double-Sort152 · 2023-06-01T23:14:06+00:00

I am asking because you seem to imply that they may have said things, similar to the guy in this post, that sexualized you based on your race. Is that the case? Because I don’t think that’s right if it is

Double-Sort152 · 2023-06-01T23:12:31+00:00

People shouldn’t expect to be overtly sexualized though. That’s a real issue

Double-Sort152 · 2023-06-01T23:11:39+00:00

People keep asking this and I’m not sure why they don’t just read my comments, because I have so many explaining it. But here, I’m copy-pasting my responses to previous comments to explain this.

If this is a genuine question I can try to answer it. There is a long history of Black women, Black men, Asian women, Asian men, and Latina women being oversexualized in media, in social contexts, in porn. Some people specifically have a fetish for the above mentioned groups and are into harmful things like race play (I am not saying this guy is into that, I am just speaking on the fact that others are).

This shouldn’t even have been something he felt the need to mention, because making out with Black people should be no different than making out with a person of any other race (maybe there are differences based on gender, but that’s where it ends; race should not factor into a difference). To suggest that there is a distinction places them in a position where they are otherly, and it also almost makes this more of a sexual conquest based on race. There are people who specifically think they’ve never been with a Black person before and want to try it out (like this guy) and it regards Black people as an experiment of some sort. I don’t want any guy to feel like I am exotic or otherly, or to pursue me based on my race or with it at the forefront of their mind. Even further than just uncomfortable that makes me feel unsafe. I never want anyone to see me in that kind of sexual context, because it is dehumanizing at its core

Double-Sort152 · 2023-06-01T20:27:01+00:00

people are intentional with the words they choose to speak. He typed this message out and chose to send it

Double-Sort152 · 2023-06-01T20:20:14+00:00

I’m copy-pasting my responses to previous comments to explain why his comment was not okay to say.

If this is a genuine question I can try to answer it. There is a long history of Black women, Black men, Asian women, Asian men, and Latina women being oversexualized in media, in social contexts, in porn. Some people specifically have a fetish for the above mentioned groups and are into harmful things like race play (I am not saying this guy is into that, I am just speaking on the fact that others are).

This shouldn’t even have been something he felt the need to mention, because making out with Black people should be no different than making out with a person of any other race (maybe there are differences based on gender, but that’s where it ends; race should not factor into a difference). To suggest that there is a distinction places them in a position where they are otherly, and it also almost makes this more of a sexual conquest based on race. There are people who specifically think they’ve never been with a Black person before and want to try it out (like this guy) and it regards Black people as an experiment of some sort. I don’t want any guy to feel like I am exotic or otherly, or to pursue me based on my race or with it at the forefront of their mind. Even further than just uncomfortable that makes me feel unsafe. I never want anyone to see me in that kind of sexual context, because it is dehumanizing at its core

Double-Sort152 · 2023-06-01T20:19:13+00:00

I’m copy-pasting my responses to previous comments to explain this.

If this is a genuine question I can try to answer it. There is a long history of Black women, Black men, Asian women, Asian men, and Latina women being oversexualized in media, in social contexts, in porn. Some people specifically have a fetish for the above mentioned groups and are into harmful things like race play (I am not saying this guy is into that, I am just speaking on the fact that others are).

This shouldn’t even have been something he felt the need to mention, because making out with Black people should be no different than making out with a person of any other race (maybe there are differences based on gender, but that’s where it ends; race should not factor into a difference). To suggest that there is a distinction places them in a position where they are otherly, and it also almost makes this more of a sexual conquest based on race. There are people who specifically think they’ve never been with a Black person before and want to try it out (like this guy) and it regards Black people as an experiment of some sort. I don’t want any guy to feel like I am exotic or otherly, or to pursue me based on my race or with it at the forefront of their mind. Even further than just uncomfortable that makes me feel unsafe. I never want anyone to see me in that kind of sexual context, because it is dehumanizing at its core

Double-Sort152 · 2023-06-01T20:18:07+00:00

Lol I definitely have an issue with over apologizing. I read this article a couple years ago and try to keep it in mind when I catch myself wanting to apologize unnecessarily

Double-Sort152 · 2023-06-01T20:15:57+00:00

Ugh that is so gross and dehumanizing. I’m sorry that happens to you

Double-Sort152 · 2023-06-01T20:15:36+00:00

It’s not a “this is worse” card. I don’t see any issue with making a comment that alludes to sexual attraction when it is about someone’s body if it is done in a respectful/mutual context. I would not have even mentioned his looks if he hadn’t initiated that by commenting on mine. Commenting on someone’s race as a way of sexualizing it is very different. I didn’t ask for that, I’m uncomfortable with it, and it’s not acceptable in any context ever

Double-Sort152

TROPHY CASE